Cooling Rack: Patience is a Virtue
by PlunnyBreeder
Summary: One that many don't own. So here is a piece of entertainment to pass the time until the next chapter/batch of bread has cooled down! We offer various kinds of onmakes, oneshots, interludes, deleted scenes, plotbunnies and more! "Well, I hope you enjoy and come again soon!" - Daiki, Ch. 8. This is a side story to 'The Baker's Daughter' by LeftNotRight and co-written by her.
1. Reborn and the Cherry-Pecan Bread

**ONMAKE: Reborn and the Cherry-Pecan Bread**

 **ThePlotbunnyBreeder: This is what happens if you leave me alone with a lot of plotbunny material (We even made a list!), make my your beta, even though it's my first time being one, and permission to go wild…  
** **MWAHAHAHA!  
** **Permission to publish this granted?**

 **LeftNotRight: Go ahead, I give my blessing.**

 **.**

 **Summary:** **Reborn eating the cherry pecan bread. Slight** _Food Wars!/Shokugeki no Soma_ **Crossover. It takes place after Ch. 7 and the day before Ch. 8. Best read after the start of Ch. 9, when Reborn buys the coffee cake.**

 **Word Count:** **487**

 **WARNING:** **Foodgasms, Mention of Feces and Drugs, and Slight!Crack.**

* * *

Reborn eyed a piece of the deliciously smelling piece of the cherry pecan bread.

He had tested if it contained poison, even though the chances were minuscule.  
(He was _The World's #1 Hitman_ after all. His paranoia is justified, being more of a habit than anything else.)

But the reaction when he fed it to some pigeons were… intriguing and also slightly disturbing.

They have groaned in… pleasure? And flopped over panting heavily, as good as pigeons could pant, like they have flown a small marathon or something similarly exhausting.  
Then feebly tried to attack him for more crumbs, before begging him.

He shot them, normally he wouldn't have bothered, but _they threatened to… defecate on his suit!_

The other pigeons were thoroughly disturbed and after some _persuasion,_ they _promised_ not to be so… foolish and disgusting.

The memory made him smirk his Smirk_Ver.8: Your-futile-struggling-is-vaguely-entertaining-me.  
(Not to be confused with his Smirk_Ver.23: Channeling-your-Inner-Sadist-like-a-boss or his Smirk_Ver.17: You-peasants-are-amusing-me.)

After that he tested the confection for hallucinatory, dopamine increasing and/or melanin suppressing drugs, and found none, he grudgingly prepared it for consummation.  
(After he made some _visits_ to several labs, of course.)

Now, here he was, eyeing the _(Still warm and fragrant after three hours... - HOW?)_ small piece of the cherry pecan bread.

He hesitantly put it in his mouth, and used an impressive chunk of his self-control not to swallow it and eat everything like an unsophisticated plebeian.

 _This is… delicious._ He admitted reluctantly in his mind. _It's almost on par on Nana's almost-but-technically-not-drugs. I could barely suppress the vision.  
_ (He also ran her… _food_ through several tests and visited, even more, labs.  
But it was just food.  
Albeit very, _incredibly delicious_ food.)

He dipped another piece in his espresso and-

Suddenly he's back in _Italia_ and recognizes that he's in a beach house in Sicily.  
There are some challenging hits he still has to accept on the night drawer, along with an almost empty bowl of pecans, and the window is open, giving him a breathtaking view of a pink sea of leaves and the ocean.

The wind smells like the sea, sakura trees and espresso, which came from his cup on the windowsill.

He takes a deep breath, watching the cherry blossom petals dance, and notes in surprise that his body is flickering between his teens and his current, cursed from, before-

-waking up...

...He tilts his fedora, not making a single sound or twitch.

He continues eating after a moment, dipping each piece into the espresso, face carefully blank.

His plate is clean and his cup is dry when he finishes.

The next day, he goes to the bakery at 5:20am.

(And the next, and the next, always at 5:20am.

It becomes a routine.

 _A not so bad routine._ He thinks to himself as he eyes the coffee cake, wondering if he should buy it the next time.)


	2. Tama-chan the Stalker

**INTERLUDE: Tama-chan the Stalker**

 **Summary (or Explanation because the title says everything):** Remember Daiki's female stalker in Ch. 7 "Tama-chan"? And the little girl at Yamamoto-kun's party "Tomoe-chan"? She also had a mention in Ch. 3!  
Well, why not give her a backstory?!

.

 **ThePlotbunnyBreeder:**...This totally didn't came because I was bored or anything. Or because I had a yanderes-are-cool-phase or anything.  
Ok, fine. I had. And I'm not proud of it.

 **LeftNotRight:** I hereby I give my blessing to let the plotbunnies roam free.

 **ThePlotbunnyBreeder:** *nods sagely* You're free now Plotbunny#3. You now deserve a name: Trois.  
Like number three in french. Yay you! *mumbles* You better appreciate this. I cringed and facepalm-ed so often while writing this...

 **.**

 **WARNING:** STALKING, KIDDIE TALK, YANDERE-ness?, lots and lots of CREEPY-NESS, BAD parenting, and FIRST POV.

 **WORD COUNT:** 876

 **.**

 **Extra Info:** The name of the stalker is Tomoe Tamaki(Tomoe written as "Blessing" and Tamaki written as "Jewel/Gem"). Her friend is that brat girl Shirosaki Tsubaki. Here as "Shiro-chan".

* * *

I smiled at Shiro-chan, even though she doesn't deserve my smile.

"Stay away from that boy, Tama-chan."

"Huh? Why?" I tilted my head.

"My kaa-chan told me to! Plus, she said that good girls and boys smile like _thiiiis_." Shiro-chan pulled the corner of her lips upwards, but it looked really ugly because she pulled with her fingers.

Mommy said that if you get smiled at properly, not like, like… _that_ , it means that she's really, REALLY precious.  
Like her name! _Tomoe_ _Tamaki_.

But a smile is a smile, she's not going to be picky.  
( _Even though she's a blessing for kaa-chan and tou-chan and deserves better smiles._ )

Oh look! Sensei said that break is over and she promised that they would learn how to write!

* * *

...Yamaguchi-kun is… weird.

He doesn't smile at all. Not even to me, and everyone I know has smiled to me at least once.

Except him.

 _Does that mean I'm not precious?  
_ _Does that mean nothing to him is precious?  
_ _...That's sad._

 _But I won't hold it against him if he_ can't _smile._

* * *

I stared in shock.

The un-smiling boy _smiled_.  
(A tiny smile.)

 _At Sasagawa-kun!_

But… not to me, even though I'm more precious, since I get smiled more often.  
 _I AM THE ONE WHO_ DESERVES _to be smiled at!_

I felt… something growing inside me when I thought of Yamaguchi-kun smiling at me.  
 _(And that something is burning when I think of him smiling at others.)_

 _I wIlL MakE hIM sMilE oNlY To mE!_

* * *

"Kaa-san, what is that weird thing inside of you when you want to have someone smile at you?"

"Oho? My precious little jewel has already got a crush?"

"So what I feel is a crush?"

"That's right! My precious baby gem is so smart! A crush is like love, but isn't love, but can turn into love. Love brought your kaa-chan and tou-chan together."

 _So, love is good. Love brings people together.  
_ (Forever, like kaa-chan and tou-chan. They have been together as far as I remember.)

 _A crush is also good, but love is better.  
_ _How do I make him love ME?_

 _...what does he even like?_

* * *

I observed him eating his froggy-shaped bento.

( _So cheese and bacon rolls it is, huh? I like that too! And those biscuits… I can make some for him!_ )

 **…**

 _His water bottle is also froggy patterned…  
_ _...He has got a froggy bag…  
_ _A froggy jacket?  
_ _Froggy pen case and pencils?!  
_

 _Why is there so much froggy?!_

 _Doesn't matter. I need to know more so he can fall in love with me.  
_ _...more…_

* * *

I seethed inside every time when he smiled at Yamamoto-kun or Ryohei-kun.  
But I continued to smile.

My friends smiled back, and continued chattering about their crushes.  
Shiro-chan was whining about some guy and another girl that also wants him.

 _Stupid, they aren't even trying to find out more about their crushes.  
_ _Does that mean I'm in love, since I show more effort?  
_ _That makes sense… Right?  
_ _RIGHT?!_

* * *

I beamed at Yamaguchi-kun when he defeated Hibari-san when we went to the park to play baseball at Yamamoto-kun's birthday party.

 _Strong, handsome, smart AND a wonderful smile.  
_ _Perfect!_

(But I don't know enough about him yet, so it doesn't count as much...)

* * *

 _His kaa-chan is nice._ I decided while munching on a bread my beloved prepared yesterday evening. _She even told me what my beloved likes! ...Though I knew them already.  
_ _But it's the thought that counts._

 _I guess it's alright then to let him smile at my future mother-in-law…_

* * *

 _It's time._ I thought to myself.  
 _Time to show how much I love him, but how?_

 **…**

"Kaa-chan, how do you let someone know you love him?"

"Aw~! My precious little gem is finally making a move, huh? Try writing a love letter! It worked with me!"

 **…**

 _So love letters are the best choice, huh?_

I smiled.

* * *

 **[DELETED SCENE IN CH. 7]**

My heart beated faster when Daiki-kun came out of the police station. I wonder why he was there…  
WAS SOMEONE BOTHERING DAIKI-KUN? I HAVEN'T DISPOSED HINDRANCES YET, BUT MAYBE I'LL START SOON!  
( _Yes, that's right. I'm on first name basis with my beloved now! I already know so much about him, so it's alright!_ )

"D-Daiki-kun!" I greeted him. Then I fidgeted nervously. Is he-

He _smiled_ at me. "Greetings Tomoe-san."

"O-Oh, y-you can call me Tamaki-chan."

"Alright Tamaki-chan."

 _Another smile!_

I blushed and looked down.

I-I feel faint…

 **…**

"That girl..." Daiki sighed. "I can't believe that she didn't notice me knocking her out. Was I too dazzling for her or something?"

"I EXTREMELY don't know! I don't have a EXTREMELY CREEPY stalker after me!"

Ryohei leaned closer and gripped Daiki's shoulders.

"Please EXTREMELY call me when you need help Daiki! Who knows when another stalker may pop up!"

Daiki smirked and teased: "Don't worry. The other stalker I know of is very cute and tame. I think."

"THAT ONLY MAKES ME EXTREMELY WORRY MORE TO THE EXTREME!"

… **Elsewhere...**

Our future Rain Guardian sneezed and missed the ball.

"Be careful that you don't get sick!"

"Yeah, who else is gonna get the win for us?"

Takeshi smiled an unnoticed, _fake_ , smile. "Ahaha! Don't worry! I'll just drink another glass of hot milk before sleeping!"


	3. Searching for the witness

**ONMAKE: Searching for the witness...**

 **Summary:** ...You'll see. (Only read after Ch.8!)

 **ThePloBre:** Because I want to have blackmail on an certain octopus head… *cackles*  
Oh, and that one pun intended.

 **LeNoRi:** Release the plotbunnies!

 **.**

 **WARNING:** A certain octopus' cussing and trying to commit seppuku.

 **Word Count:** 243

* * *

"Where were you baseball idiot?!" Gokudera exploded. "Don't you know what would happen to Tenth's reputation when _it_ comes out?"

"Ahaha, don't worry! I was just talking to shunji-kun and asking if he had seen anyone!" Yamamoto explained.

'... _Sh-Shunji-kun?_ ', rang through the other two minds.

They weren't sure if they heard right.

Gokudera in particular wondered if he should brush up his knowledge on the Japanese language. Maybe it was some kind of slang for upperclassmen these days? Because, surely, the baseball idiot couldn't have said ' _Husband_ '.

"Let's continue our quest!" Yamamoto cheered, unaware of his freshly acquired friends' thoughts.

"Y-Yeah. Let's-", Gokudera eyed him hesitantly, but soon discarded his worries in favor of- " HELP TENTH!"

"Yosh!" Yamamoto cheered again.

Tsuna blushed.

 **…Sometime later...**

"I-I'm sorry Tenth. I FAILED YOU!" Gokudera screamed at the ground.

"I'm sorry too, Tsuna." the taller boy muttered. "Maybe if I haven't talked to shunji-kun and wasted time..."

"It's alright." Tsuna smiled.  
He didn't want to know nor experience, the consequences if his secret came out, but he found two new… _friends_! And they were worth it.

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Gokudera wailed. "WHAT KIND OF RIGHT HAND MAN AM I?!"

"Maa Maa-"

"SHUT UP BASEBALL IDIOT! YOU DON'T FEEL THE SHAME-"

"G-Gokudera-kun-"

"-I WON'T EVER LIVE THIS DOWN!"

Reborn's eyes glinted while the raven-haired jock and the 'TENTH' in question were trying to keep the 'UNWORTHY RIGHT-HAND MAN' from committing seppuku.

More blackmail material? Always a good thing.


	4. Daiki's Flaws

**Daiki's Flaws**

* * *

 **In my writings, I have found that I have made Daiki out to be quite the Mr. Right. Let's remedy that, by pointing out his flaws.  
** **This is written in third person, however, Daiki will still be referred to as a manly man throughout.**

 **Enjoy!  
** **LeNoRi, over and out!**

 **[** _ ***scribbled under in messy font compared to LeNoRi*  
And her sidekick (aka beta),**_

 _ **ThePlotbunnyBreeder  
Ciao Ciao~!**_

 _ **PS: Why aren't betas called sidekicks? Sums up the job pretty well in my opinion…  
**_ _ **PPS: Also implies that the author is a hero for sharing the stories, which they spent a lot of brain juice on (AND SLEEEEEP!), with you.  
**_ _ **PPPS: *glares slightly* Y'all better be grateful.  
**_ _ **PPPPS: Y'all wonderful though! Haven't detected an "UPDATE FASTERRR! OR U SUX!" or a flame or... ANYTHING! You guys are amazing!  
**_ _ **PPPPPS: I should stop with the P...Ss…  
**_ _ **PPPPPPS: ...K bye.**_ **]**

 **The snapshots are not chronologically in order! We just did what came to mind...**

* * *

 **#1: Gardening. (Just- nope. Not talented.)**

 **Explanation:** See for yourself, and title sums it up pretty well.

 _ **Spring  
**_ _ **4th Year  
**_ _ **Namimori Primary School**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 9  
_ _ **Ryohei:**_ _Age 8  
_ _ **Yuuki:**_ _Age 8_

 **Word Count:** 763

* * *

"Okay everyone, gather up!" The teacher called, ushering the students from their desks to the front of the class.

Yamaguchi Daiki tilted his head, to look around the teacher, raising an eyebrow at the large crate sat in the corner. Sitting down, the small child gave a grunt as his only friend, Sasagawa Ryohei, dropped down next to him, half landing on the reincarnate's lap, before bouncing off.

"Careful, Ryohei-kun." He mumbled, the younger boy rubbing his behind with a whine.

"Ah, why're your knees so EXTREMELY _bony?_ " The silver haired child breathed, shifting to cross his legs.

"Because, they are designed that way."

Ryohei pouted, crossing his arms.  
"Stale bread." He muttered, using an insult which he thought was quite smart.

" _Stale bread?_ What on Earth?" Daiki blinked, before his expression darkened.  
"Oh, you son of a-"

"Stale, as in your personality, and bread as in baker! It's EXTREMELY perfect for you!"

"Ryohei-kun, Daiki-kun, do I have to separate you two?" The teacher asked, looming over the chatting duo.  
"No, sorry sensei." They chorused, Ryohei gripping the hem of Daiki's shirt subtly.

"Okay then, behave." She ordered, before turning to the rest of the class.  
"Now, you're all aware that our year is having a class project, to teach responsibility and basic skills, correct? Well, the subject has been chosen, and it has been decided that you all will be caring for a plant."

She reached around and pulled a small pot plant from the crate behind her, a little, bright yellow flower blooming prettily for the class.

"You are to take them home and look after them for a month, then bring them back and show us how well you've cultivated them. You need to give them plenty of sunshine, water and air. Certain plants will need different environments, but all of them are easy to look after. Line up, and I'll give you your plant."

The class moved in relative unison, standing and straightening out into a short, mildly crooked line. Each child gave thanks as they took their pot from the teacher, only a few complaints thrown about the room as trades took place.

"Daiki-kun! I have an EXTREME ACHILLEA!" Ryohei roared, presenting his little pot plant, an array of orange and yellow flowers peeking off long stems.

"What did you get?! It must be EXTREME!"

The Baker's son looked down at the little bulb sitting on the surface of his dirt, the green skin littered with yellowing spikes, and an adorning orange flower sat on the top.

"I got a cactus."

"Ah, that's really lucky! My mamma tells me that cactus are really easy to look after! They don't need much water, and are happy to just sit in the sun all day!" A voice chirped.

Daiki and Ryohei turned to see Kikiyo Yuuki, the florist's granddaughter, smiling up at them, a little cosmos plant in hand.

"Yuuki-chan! You know everything about plants! This will be a cinch for you!"

"Well, not _everything_." The little girl laughed.

Daiki looked back down at his cactus, staring at the flat flower gazing back up at him.

 _'Wow, that's one EXTREMELY intense stare!'_ , Ryohei thought, leaning back from his friend.

"An easy plant. This'll be fine."

* * *

Daiki glanced away from his book, looking to the cactus sitting on his window sill thoughtfully.

"Maybe just a bit of water."

...

"Another drink."

...

"Nothing too excessive."

...

"A little more."

...

"It won't hurt."

* * *

Ryohei looked at Daiki with an expression of confusion and awe, mixed together on his face.

"I drowned my cactus." The baker's son muttered, looking down at his mushy, black and sorry excuse of a plant.

The other students in the class would have laughed, if it weren't for the deathly blank expression on the boy's face, hinting to the heartbreak that took place deep within his soul...

The little Sun looked at Daiki's face, easily seeing the barely existent, downward tilt of his lips and glanced down at his own, wilting flowers.

"Hey, Daiki-kun." He called, thinking up an idea.

The blue haired boy looked up, jumping slightly in surprise as something was slipped behind his ear. Reaching up, Daiki blinked when his fingers glanced over the soft texture of Ryohei's only good flowers.

"Thanks, Ryohei-kun." He grinned, cupping the flowers slightly.

" _Okay children, let's see your plants!"_

Daiki and Ryohei's grins dissolved into expressions of fear, both of them glancing down at their deathly looking plants.

They both failed the project.

 **...Later...**

"Wait, Ryohei-kun, how'd you kill your plant?"

"I made it do EXTREME WORKOUTS with me!"

"...Ah, I see."

* * *

 _Quick Note: Achilleas are an Australian flowering plant that is near impossible to kill. :) -LeNoRi_

* * *

 **#2: Is weak to attacks with '** _ **CUTE~!**_ ' **-attribute. (Who isn't?)**

 **Explanation:** ...Title.

 _ **Winter**_

 _ **Kitchen**_

 _ **Yamaguchi Bakery**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 13_

 _ **Kyoko:**_ _Age 11_

 _ **Ryohei:**_ _Age 12_

 _ **Mothers': Age**_ _34-ish_

 **Word Count:** 221

* * *

"That should do it." Daiki sighed, shutting the oven, a basic chocolate cake beginning to bake.

"Yay! I can't wait! How long will it take?" Kyoko chirped, looking up at the elder boy eagerly, a bit of flour dusting her cheek.

"About half an hour." He smiled, folding the flour bag shut. "Until then, we're going to clean up."

"Ooh~! Can I lick to bowl? Please, Daiki-kun?!" The little girl begged, folding her hands together as she widened her eyes slightly.

"No, Kyoko-chan, you'll spoil your appetite. Dinner will be ready soon, as soon as Ryohei-kun and our mothers get back from the shops-"

Daiki stalled as Kyoko stuck out her bottom lip, curling in on herself slightly as she looked up at him through her lashes.

The baker's son was tempted to rub his eyes as the kitchen began to fill with a gentle pink hue, the floral pattern on the curtains behind her began to move and bloom further.

 _'What the actual fudge…'_

"Pwease, Ki-nii?" Kyoko tried again, glancing at the chocolate smothered bowl and spoon in Daiki's arms.

"…Fine."

 **...**

The mothers and Ryohei came home to see Kyoko happily holding clean bowl and spoon, smiling brightly at Daiki as he used a wet wipe to clean her face, looking thoroughly defeated next to the little girl's bright and glittering aura.

* * *

 **#3: He has different types and levels of 'Pissed Off'. (Like how the sidekick is pissed off when she wakes up before her alarm… Ugh. Time for sleep wasted...)**

 **Explanation:** …This is a waste of space. But the format looks better this way.  
And those are only _some_ of his anger levels!

 **A: I-am-in-a-bad-mood-and-I-could-take-it-out-on-you.  
** _ **Example: Him being a jerk to Shirosaki Tsubaki, who is a brat.  
(It's of course justified here, but he would have snapped at anybody else too, but maybe not so harsh.)  
**_ **Anger Level:** _Not fatal, but you should proceed carefully. Will occasionally feel bad later and sometimes apologize._

 **B: I-am-in-a-horrible-mood-and-am-therefore-brooding-and-angrily-talking-to-myself-like-the-teenager-I-am.  
** _ **Example: When Hibari asks him to do stuff.  
**_ **Anger Level:** _Pretty low, because he's usually only in this level when he feels used. But some part of him likes being needed, as every human being does. Could still snap at you, though he WILL feel bad later if you aren't the source of his brooding-ness.  
_ _ **Extra Info:**_ Usual source of Version B is a certain, socially stunted skylark.

 **C:** _ **R**_ **-U-** _ **SRSLY**_ **-THREATENING-** _ **MY**_ **-** _ **BABIES**_ **?!  
** _ **Example: Aquatic centre with Father's photo scene and Reborn using his mother as a leverage.  
**_ **Anger Level:** _If you can probably be 'taken care of', you better run. Fast.  
But sometimes the opponent is WAY out of his league. E.g. Reborn._

 _Be prepared for Version D._

 **D: Some-ASSHOLE-just-threatened-** _ **MY**_ **-BABIES-and-** _ **I**_ **-can-do-ABSO-fucking-LUTELY-NOTHING-about-** _ **IT**_ **!  
** _ **Example: Reborn holding Kaede as a leverage.  
**_ **Anger Level:** _An almost passive-aggressive approach would take place in this case, due to him being unable to realistically retaliate without rendering either himself or his companions dead. Basically, he'd be like 'you did this to me, so I'll piss you off anyway I can in a manner you can't blame me for'. Basically, he becomes a dick._

Sidekick Commentary: Or maybe bitch around, though I don't like the word bitch, because I have one at home. A female dog, I mean.  
(Maybe being a cactus? Y'know, a prick? In the ass? ...A cactus in the ass?  
...Ouch.)  
(Let's stick with dick.)

You can tell I didn't write that description. lmao

* * *

 **#4: *says snootily to the readers forgive moi* He can be a pretty patronizing bastard.**

 **Explanation:** Because he is mentally older. Duh.  
Which doesn't mean it's alright to be condensing to the cute little brats.  
Kids are smart their own way, y'know?

 _ **Summer  
**_ _ **1st Year  
**_ _ **Namimori Primary School**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 6  
_ _ **Koharu:**_ _Age 6  
_ _ **Hiro:**_ _Age 6_

 **Word Count:** 308

* * *

"Okay kids, go with your group and make the best poster you can!"

Daiki tried to smile at his two teammates, the result being more of a grimace, making the other boys glance at each other uncertainly.  
"Okay, so what are we going to do? Koharu-san, Hiro-san?" he asked, deciding to get the ball rolling.

Despite his efforts, there was a certain lit to his voice that seemed a bit on the annoying side, the set of 6 year olds' minds jumping to the adults that talked to them.

"A-ah, we...we could-" Hiro tried, his small voice just barely making itself auditable amongst the noise of the classroom.

"If you want, we can do it about our toys. That's always nice, right?"  
Children like that sort of thing, yes? They're still around the stage where their toys are sentient and stuff, yes?

Daiki didn't mean to cut him off, as a matter of fact, he didn't even hear Hiro over Ryohei's screaming in the far corner.

"Sure." Koharu nodded, cautious around the reincarnate after the first few days of school.  
"Okay…"

Nodding to his companions, Daiki promptly sat up and began instructing the younger boys, pointing to the equipment he thought they would need.  
"Koharu-san, you go and get the pens. Hiro-san, get the big paper. I'll go and grab some good looking toys."

Before either of the boys could try and retort to the blue haired kid, he had turned and walked to the crate in the corner, sorting through the varied knickknacks.

"I...I wanted to do it about the plants in the school garden" Hiro stuttered, glancing up at Koharu.

"I kind'a wanted to do Tamagotchi."

The two boys looked at each other and sighed, shaking their heads slightly before shrugging.

Yamaguchi Daiki. Only Ryohei could handle him when it came to group work.

* * *

 **#5: Is a momma's boy. (If you don't believe me, I'm gonna tell mY** _ **MOM**_ **!)**

 **Explanation:** While it is _not wrong_ to be a momma's boy, the momma in question has a few screws loose and needs therapy.  
THIS DOESN'T MEAN IT IS WRONG TO STILL LOVE HER! DAIKI YOU'RE SUCH AN AWESOME AND STRONG PERSON TO HAVE THE STRENGTH TO SUPPORT HER! WOHOO!  
*cough* Getting off track…

 _ **Autumn  
**_ _ **3rd Year  
**_ _ **Namimori Primary School**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 8  
_ _ **Yuuki:**_ _Age 8  
_ _ **Kaede:**_ _Age 29_

 **Word Count:** 303

* * *

"Ah, thanks Yuuki-chan, you're a lifesaver." Daiki sighed, accepting the homework and sheets from the girl standing at the door.

"No problem, Daiki-kun, how'd you get your foot hurt? Everyone's really worried!" She asked, retracting her hands behind her back.

'By 'everyone's worried' you mean Ryohei is being loud enough to make up for everyone.' Daiki snorted mentally.

The baker's son looked down at his bandaged ankle, wiggling his toes experimentally, before smiling at the brown haired florist child.

"I had a little stumble. Nothing to worry about, I'll be back soon enough."

"Okay, well then, get better soon. See you at school, Daiki-kun!" Yuuki called, walking from the door and further down the street.

Daiki breathed and closed the door, tucking the folder under his arm.

" _Daiki-kun, who was that?_ "

The young boy turned his head and blinked when he saw his mother standing in the kitchen doorway, a tense expression on her face.

"Just a classmate, she came to give me my work." He answered evenly, and carefully styled his face to be deceivingly open.

"A classmate…okay then!"

Daiki barely stopped himself from deflating when Kaede's face brightened and she all but skipped back to the boiling pot.

 _I guess a little more acting won't hurt._

"Did you think that Yuuki-chan and I were- Ew! Kaa-san!" He exclaimed, sticking his tongue out exaggeratedly.

"Hahaha! Oh come now, Daiki-kun, don't pull that face!" She laughed, messing up her son's hair.

"Girls are icky!"

"What about me?"

"You're not a girl, you're a _lady._ " He chided, nodding his head sagely.

"Always such a charmer, Daiki-kun." She cooed, before handing him a ladle-full of soup.

"Anything to add? More pepper or salt?"

"Nope, it's perfect!"

Daiki smiled up at his mother as she continued to stir the liquid, then glanced quickly towards the door.

* * *

 **#6: Hates being interrupted by those he considers not clo-**

 **Explanation:** Again. Title. Why am I even writing this?! ( Because I am a neat-freak when it comes to formating...)  
Yes, the '-' sign is on purpose.

 _ **Spring  
**_ _ **1st Day of Pre-School, Midday  
**_ _ **Gingko Tree Sapling Class  
**_ _ **Namimori Preschool**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 5  
_ _ **Koharu:**_ _Age 5_

 **Word Count:** 233

* * *

"Daiki-kun, could you please answer this question? Two times six?" The teacher cooed down at the little boy, making him look up from the senseless patterns in the carpet to respond.

He stared at the board for a moment, sleepy mind barely active enough to make use of basic motor skills.  
Like talking, never mind the simple arithmetics.

"Ah, twe-"

"TWELVE!" A boy in the back yelled, throwing his hands up with a bright smile.

"Koharu-kun, please don't call out, especiall-"

"Oi," Daiki growled, his pet peeve, along with the lack of sleep, making him more than _just a bit ticked.  
_ (And a hypocritie, since he just _interrupted_ the teacher.)

"Shut. _Up. Brat._ "

"Meep!" The boy sat down. The whole class sat down. The world sat dow-  
(Ok, fine. It didn't. And of course the teacher also didn't.)

' _S-Scary!'_ rang through the minds of the still inexperienced, relatively untouched by the darker aspects of the world, brats. Sorry, I meant kiddos.

Daiki sat down and continued nodding off to the strongly desired sleep that _just didn't come no matter how hard he tried_ and that pisSED HIM _OFF_.  
Cue dark aura, which went unnoticed by the adults.

Nobody talked to him for a pretty long time.  
(Until a certain loud, silver haired, EXTREME! kiddo came.)

… **That night...**

"..." Daiki paused while brushing is teeth.

"Maybe I shouldn't have done that.  
...Oh whatever."

He continues brushing.

* * *

 **#7: Not a morning person. At-*yawn* ...all… Zzz...**

 **Explanation:** Ok, more like commentary. I can _so_ relate. And LeNoRi too. Probably. And you guys, the readers, most likely too.

Sidekick Commentary: I often (tried to) bit(e) my parents when it was time for kindergarten. It started at 9, but I had to wake up at 7:30 am…

LeNoRi (aka Hero Commentary): I kicked my dad when he tried to wake me up in the mornings, only my dad, heaven forbid I kick my mother. Same time, 9 am for kindergarten, I was just a really shitty child.

Sidekick Commentary: XD Night owls (or maybe just NOPE!-morning persons) unite!

 _ **Spring  
**_ _ **1st Day of Preschool, Morning  
**_ _ **Daiki's Room  
**_ _ **Yamaguchi Household**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 5  
_ _ **Kaede:**_ _Age 26_

 **Word Count: 230**

* * *

" _Daiki-kun."_

The bulge on the bed shifted slightly, sheets and pillows moving as a muffled groan escaped through the fibres.

" _Daiki-kun, time to get up."_

"Don't…wanna…" Came the whined response, before a deep breathing filled the room, hinting the boy's lapse back into dreamland.

A squawk sounded through the house as the sheets were ripped from the young lad's form, exposing him to the mercy of the crisp, Spring morning air.

"Honestly Daiki-kun, you're just like your father. Never getting up on time, always late to important occasions." Kaede chided, placing her hands on her hips.

"What's important?" Daiki muttered into his pillow, arms drawn beneath his chest to conserve warmth.

"Today's your first day!"

"…Not important enough. Sleep."

"Yamaguchi Daiki, get up!"

The mother of the house watched as her son slowly slid from his bed, arms dangling uselessly at his sides as he stared at the floor tiredly. Giving a nod, she turned and began to walk out the door.

"I expect you down stairs in ten minu-"

 _ **BANG!**_

Jumping, the woman spun around before sagging, Daiki's body laying face first on the hardwood floor, his back raising and falling in a continuous rhythm.  
"Just like his father." She sighed, shaking her head as she smiled.

 **…Later...**

"I apologize for the inconvenience."  
"No problem Yamaguchi-san! It's the first day of preschool after all. He's allowed to be late."

* * *

 **#8: Daiki can't handle the spicy- DRY BREAD AND HONEY WORKS BETTER I SWEAR!**

 **Explanation:** See title.

 _ **Winter  
Sunday Afternoon  
**_ _ **Dining Room  
**_ _ **Yamaguchi Household**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 9  
_ _ **Kaede:**_ _Age 30_

 **Word Count:** 243

* * *

Daiki slurped his udon happily, enjoying the way they warmed his stomach against cold.

There was a light shower of snow outside. Mephisto, who was barely visible against the background of pure white, flung himself into the fluffy piles from yesterday night's fall, leaving behind small pawprints on the cold, crunchy blankness.

"Ah, it's so nice to have a hot meal during the winter." Kaede cooed, adding a red sauce to her soup before swallowing another spoonful.

The young boy inspected the small sauce bowl, glancing between his mother and the liquid, before deciding to give it a try.

"Hey, Kaa-san, can I try that please?" He asked, positioning his spoon over the red surface.

"Go ahead!" She smiled, pushing the bowl forwards slightly.

Daiki filled the tip of his spoon with the viscous product before slipping it into his mouth, sliding his tongue around it curiously, before freezing in place.  
"It would seem, that I have made a mistake." He muttered, looking past his mother.

Then the taste _fully_ registered. "A terrible mistake!"

Leaping from his seat, the boy fled from the table and raced into the kitchen, yanking the fridge door open to gulp down the bottle of milk he found.

"Ah, why did you let me do that?!" he whined.

Outside of the house, Mephisto looked up from his snow angle to the direction of the house, the sounds of choking and peals of laughter leaking from the open door.

* * *

 **#9: Uh, Daiki? You can stop- OH GOD STOP!**

 **Explanation:** He is very overprotective. _Very_. Overprotective. If thou are not worthy of thee mother, you better run. There are plenty of fish in the sea after all.

 _ **Summer  
Saturday Noon.  
**_ _ **Namimori Weekend Market**_

 **.**

 _ **Kaede:**_ _Age 26  
_ _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 5  
_ _ **Poor Bastard:**_ _Age 29_

 **Word Count:** 186

* * *

" _Dude, go on! You'll be fine!"  
_ " _I don't know about this…"  
_ " _Go!"_

The poor bastard yelped as his friend shoved him forwards, almost making him collide with one Yamaguchi Kaede, whom he had been side glancing for the past three minutes as she roamed the markets.

"Oh! Shit-sorry! My friend are being a bit dumb and-"

"No problem, it's fine!" Kaede laughed, straightening her slightly rocked sun hat.

The tall male had to physically stop himself from sighing as her laughter echoed in his ears.

"A-ah, I'm-" he was about to introduce, when a quiet hissing sound began to emit from behind his focus.

Blinking, the man tilted both head and body to look around Kaede's sun dress, a squeak leaving him as his body clenched up.

A little blue-haired devil was hissing at him from behind the angelic woman, small claws clutching the white material of her dress as he glared up at him with striking eyes.

Its message was obvious: Leave or die.

The man had never run so fast.

 **...**

"Ah? Where did that man go?"

"Maybe he needed to go to the bathroom!" Daiki chirped.


	5. The Misfortunes of Babysitting

**The Misfortunes of Babysitting**

 **(Or: That One Time Daiki Had To Babysit Tsuna, And Everything Went To Hell)**

 **LeNoRi: I give my consent, yaddy, yaddy, yadda.**

 **ThePloBre: This was purely the work of LeftNotRight. I just corrected some typos and added some format.**

 _ **Autumn**_

 _ **Sawada Household**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 12_

 _ **Tsuna:**_ _Age 10_

 _ **Kaede:**_ _Age 32_

 _ **Nana:**_ _Age 31_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 4384

* * *

I stared up at the two women wordlessly, a part of me still not believing the situation I had found myself in.

"Listen to Daiki-kun, okay Tsuna-kun?" Nana cooed, petting her son's fluffy hair.

"Remember, Daiki-kun, call the police if anything goes wrong." Kaede hummed, rubbing my arms in a comforting manner.

"Second dinner is in the fridge, just heat it up if you get hungry. Go to bed at a reasonable time and try not to get into trouble. Okay, bye-bye, you two, we'll be back tomorrow morning!"

Tsuna and I stood quietly as the door to the Sawada house was closed and locked, our mothers off to Tokyo to sight see for some kind of self-care day.

Personally, I thought it was a terrible idea, it was going to storm in Namimori and the surrounding areas, just barely missing Tokyo. The journey returning, however, wasn't going to be a dry one.

"What's 'second dinner'?" I asked, turning to the small Sawada.

"I get hungry at night sometimes, so kaa-san makes me something." The Vongola murmured, keeping his head low and eyes up.

Glancing over at the clock, I sighed when I saw the hands still lingering around the 7pm mark, letting my eyes then fall to the fidgeting tunafish.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Nothing...really." He mumbled, twisting his foot slightly.

Resisting the urge to sigh loudly, I moved us to the living room, dropping down on the floor. The smaller stood awkwardly a few paces away, looking uncomfortable even in his own home.

"How about...we play a video game? You have those, yes?" I hummed, turning to his television.

"Yeah!" The Sky smiled, before suddenly pulling back. "But I don't have any two player games."

"It's fine," I shrugged. "We can swap every time someone dies."

…

"I died. Again." I muttered, staring at the screen.

I guess, even in the next life, I still suck at first person shooter games.

At least Tomb Raider is still the same.

The small boy beside me covered his mouth to hold in his snickering, placing down his glass of milk as he took the controler.

"You're really bad at these, huh, Yamaguchi-san?" He giggled,hitting the reload button.

"The controller's too sensitive! And it takes too long to line up for those frontal attacks!" I responded, crossing my arms.

"I prefer melee weapons, the pickaxe is fine."

"But you're pretty good when it comes to assassinating. You're headshot count is higher than mine in the time given." The Vongola comforted, taking out three men with three consecutive shots.

"God damn!" I scowled, throwing my hands up in disbelief.

"You sure that 'dame' thing isn't all a cover up for your hitman skills, Little Fish?" I half joked, narrowing my eyes down at him as he continued onto the next platform.

He gave me a smile, my body physically stalling when I saw the sheer _radiance._

"Sure, blind me, why don't ya." I muttered, pushing his face away from me.

"I'm better with the joystick, you're better with the buttons. Let's put it like that." He laughed, groaning as a quicktime scene got him thrown over the ledge of the mountain.

"I'll take that." I responded, referring to both the comment and the controller.

…

"Yamaguchi-san, are you hungry?" Tsuna asked, shifting beside me as I axed in the head of a giant bear.

"Hm...not really. I guess I could go for a drink, though." I responded, pausing the game.

We both moved to the kitchen, the room significantly colder than the living room, rain having started coming down half an hour ago.

"Hey, where're your cups hidden?" I asked ,opening another dish cupboard.

"Ah, to your left."

Following his order, I grabbed a cup and brought it down, stiffening when a loud _clang_ rang out. Spinning around, I sighed when I saw Tsuna scramble after a rolling plate, panic clear on his face.

"Jesus boy, you gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry." He apologised, holding the dish closed to his chest.

Waving him off, I filled my cup with water and all but dropped the contents down my throat, listening closely to the tuna's progress.

"Ah!"

There's another hazard triggered.

"Damn it, Little Fish!" I yelped, placing my hand under the large bowl in his hands, still cold from refrigeration.

"Sorry! I wasn't expecting it to be that heavy!"

It really wasn't that heavy, Tsuna.

I nodded to him in understanding before helping him place it on the counter, pausing when he placed his chin on the edge, too short to reach any further.

Jesus christ, if he wasn't the protagonist…

"We ready to head back to the living room?" I asked, pulling the clingwrap back over the bowl, Tsuna nodding as he chewed on his second dinner.

We padded back into the living room, perching ourselves back on the cushioned couch and restarting the game, the carcass of the bear the first thing we saw.

"I told you, melee are my favourite."

"Sure, sure."

 **...**

A yawn from the young Vongola drew my attention from sniping a man with my bow, the arrow releasing automatically after a few seconds of strain.

I raised my eyebrow as I looked down at the boy, falling on my side slightly as he began to go slack.

"You tired?"

"...Yeah."

"It's still kinda early, but if you want, we can go to sleep." I offered, looking down at him as he rubbed his eyes.

"Okay. I'm fine with that." He nodded, but still did not move.

Do I let him go back to his room?

The idea of him being out of my sight while under my charge made me feel uneasy in the worst of ways, a frown tugging on my lip.

"Ah...could you just bring your blanket downstairs? I'd rather you be where I can see you."

He nodded, before slinking up the stairs, yelping as his socks slipped and he tumbled down his progress.

Yeah. Not letting this one out of sight.

I turned off the game after saving our progress, getting up off the couch. Padding after him, I pulled the young Vongola to his feet and helped him up the stairs, vaguely noting how he didn't tear up like most kids would have.

Maybe he's sturdier than most? Might explain how he survived all of Reborn's bull shit in the future.

Bundling up his blanket, I walked out of his room, hearing him pad after me, the top of his tiny body obscured by his pillow. Not taking any chances, I held him by the collar of his pyjamas as we descended the stairs, having to dangle him by it at once stage.

"Jeez, Sawada-san, how did you survive for so long?" I breathed to myself, throwing the heavy sheet over his lying form after he curled up on one of the couches.

Dumping myself on the other one, I splayed out on my front and began to doze off, not fully awake in the first place. Just as I was about to blank out, a wave of familiar paranoia flooded my mind, yanking me from any chance of immediate rest. Pulling myself from the seating, I began to move around the house, giving all the doors and windows little jostles to check their locks, always coming back to peek at the sleeping tuna.

A frown came to my face as I came to the last window in the upstairs bathroom, bottles of body wash scattered across the floor and a faint trail left behind by spilt baby powder. There was a harsh wind that day, though, the storm already in full and locking the frosted glass windows, I lined up the bottles again, making a mental note to clean up the spill after I made another round.

The sounds of something heavy hitting the floor in the master bedroom set me on edge, my feet making little to no noise as I got close and peeked through the keyhole. I bit my lip to silence myself when I saw a figure eclipse the light for a split second, a faint hum coming as he spoke to someone else.

" _Idiot. Don't make such a racket!"_

Hm...I may be wrong, but I think there's someone in the house. Just a guess.

God damn it. I definitely pissed off some sort of God, didn't I?

The twist of the knob made me flee onto the stairs, letting the railing obscure me as I listened to the two men pad heavily along the hall into Tsuna's empty room, suddenly so much happier that I brought him to the first floor.

A silent hiss left me as a crash sounded from the downstairs kitchen window, making a split second decision to abandon my watch on the intruder duo and move to the newest- and probably more imminent- threat. With my feet on the bottom floor, I scrambled into the living room, a quiet breath leaving me when I saw the Vongola still dead asleep on the couch.

My relief was short-lived, however, as the sound of feet hitting the floor on the other side of the wall caught my attention, making me move to it, fingers glancing over the brass in my pocket. Plastering my back against the wall, I peeked around the door frame to observe the newest addition, grimacing when I saw the gangly, pale male pulling himself to his feet after taking a look under the sink.

Voices started coming from the stairs as a boot came into view, making me abandon my post and dash back into the living room, quietly closing the door behind me and reinforcing it with my body.

Okay. There are three men in the house, from their appearances, they aren't Mafia, but regular intruders. Hopefully, they think the house is vacant. Probably do, considering how much noise they're causing, no caution on their part.

Police, let's do that first.

Moving from the door, I reached for the phone that was perched on the table beside Tsuna's head, the boy blissfully unaware of the chaos around him. Pressing my fingers to the keys, I prepared to hit the call button, only for my eyes to widen in disbelief, and my lips to purse.

Lightning cracked across the sky, lighting up the dark room for less than two ticks before an ear splitting crash followed, barely rousing the sleeping Sky, but doing enough damage to cut the lights to the house, the phone in my hand going deadline.

...

"-!" I bit the inside of my lips to silence the rage bubbling beneath my skin, resisting the urge to stomp my foot in impatience.

Replacing the phone back in its booth, I stepped away and looked down at the sleeping Tsuna, wondering if it was worth waking him up, even if it'd just cause against a larger hazard.

I didn't have much of a choice, however, as a light became known through the jam in the door, torches being juggled between hands as the handle was jiggled. Throwing myself to the floor, I let myself be eclipsed by the couch, gently encouraging the blanket covering the Sky to go further and completely consume him. When it did so, I yanked my jacket off and tossed it onto his back, my shirt coming next, leaving me in my dark grey undershirt.

With the thick blanket and random articles of clothes, the mass looked less like a sleeper, and more of a pile of laundry that was yet to be done, the darkness helping promote the illusion. The precaution done, and no time left, I scrambled to the side, allowing the first two men pass, the other one still unaccounted for.

Slipping past the couch, I moved behind the door, wedging myself into the shadowed corner as another flash of lightening illuminated the room, showing the men in all of their robber glory, beanie masks and all. Holding my breath, I unclipped only one brass knuckle, before taking a chance and banding around the door, tossing the metal into the hall, and yanking myself back into the space, obscuring myself as the two jumped and one was sent ahead to check it out.

With only a single man left in the room, rummaging through the drawers, pushing round receipts and batteries in a futile attempt of finding something of value, I gently urged the door shut with my shoulder. Turning the handle so no _click_ would ring, I began to move forwards, keeping low.

Teeth gritted to retrain all my instincts that said _'get the fuck outta there'_ , I bent my knees and pushed off the floor, catching the towering man in his gut, the back of his skull cracking against the open drawer as the room lit up with lightening, the boom covering the sound of the struggle.

"Okay," I breathed, dragging the man behind the couch away from Tsuna's eyes, should he wake. "Now, for the others."

Why does everything have to go to hell when I'm the one who's accountable?

* * *

 **| POOR BASTARD 1 |**

"The women are gone, the house should be empty." The poor, unfortunate man nodded, looking to his partner.

"Are you sure? I mean, don't they both have kids?" The younger robber asked, still skittish.

"C'mon guy, do you really think those kinds of people leave their young kids at home alone? They're probably over at a friend's or something. Maybe a babysitter." He grunted, before looking over to their third man, hidden around the corner.

"I..Okay, sorry."

"Nah, this is your first time, so a bit of lilly-liver is expected. Just don't bail on us half way through, got it?"

At the other's nod, the two began to move, climbing up to the front portion of roof and entering the unlocked bathroom window with relative ease. The eldest of the duo let out a hiss of air and flailed slightly as his companion got his foot caught, taking a tumble and dragging half the bathroom down with him.

"Dude! Careful, the neighbours are still home!"

"S-sorry."

Shaking his head, the tall man looked around, before pocketing a set of earrings that were balanced on the edge of this sink, obviously belonging to the mother.

…

"Okay, the upstairs is clean, let's head down."

The man rolled his eyes as the other gave squeak of worry, already half way down when he started moving. He paused for a split second, a flash of movement catching his eye from the hall below.

A frown came to his masked face as he held his hand up to silence his friend, moving forwards on his own.

"W-what is it?"

"...Nothing." He grunted, shaking his head.

As soon as the words left him, the sky split and the dull luminance from household items went out, bathing them in complete darkness. Scowling, the man took out his torch, ignoring the other's whimper of fear.

"It's just a blackout, if anything this helps us."

"A-ah, okay. Got'cha."

Giving their third man a nod of certification, the tall man moved to the living room door and turned the handle, opening it with little care. Shining his light around, he took steps to the assortment of drawers.

A loud, metallic thud rung out through the silence of the house, forcing him and his companion into a tense hush.

"What was that?" He hissed, looking over his shoulder.

"I-I don't know."

The elder man looked to his companion expectantly, before pointing to the open door.

"Well, go check it out!"

He rolled his eyes as the other left, returning to scour through the multiple drawers for anything worth taking. Pausing when the light of his friend disappeared, he brushed it off fairly quickly, guessing the man had gone around a corner.

Faint scratching and a thud were the only warnings he had, a weight slammed on his chest and brought him down, wide eyes taking in a flash of luminescent amber before a splitting pain came and he dropped.

 **| POOR BASTARD 1 |**

* * *

 **| POOR BASTARD 2 |**

Oh, this is a bad idea. If his mother could see him now, she'd say 'get the fuck outta there!'.

A flash caught the young man's attention as he moved his light across the hall floor, making him come to a stop and crouch. Taking the piece from the wood, the masked robber held back a whimper when he identified it as a brass knuckle. The thunder crack that followed the realisation physically shook the house, making the man jump and spin around, the thud seeming much closer than it should have been.

"Dude?" He called, giving a small, muted cry of despair when he received no reply.

Creeping back carefully, the man opened the door again, wincing at the obscenely loud creek that rang out.

"Guy? Are you in her..." His sentence trailed off into a choked squeak as his light landed on the fallen figure of his friend, little bare feet standing beside his rolled back eyes.

The masked man's throat closed in fear as he watched the small feet tread towards him, giggles emanating from a different area of the room, every horror film he had ever watched that starred a creepy Asian child bombarding his mind.

" _Why are you in this house?"_

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

"A-ah...We're just passing by…?"

" _Liar, liar! Pants on fire!"_

"Oh my God!" The man screamed, stumbling back as a flash of bright yellow flames licked to his pants legs.

A weight on his chest, a grip on his neck and a pain in his head.

"What the hel-!?"

And he was out.

" _Onto the next one..."_

He should have listened to his mum.

 **| POOR BASTARD 2 |**

* * *

"God damn it, my flames acted up." I grumbled, patting down the man's feet.

I hadn't meant for the sunshine tongues to burst forth, but the sentence had seemed to spark a reaction, causing the little heart attack inducing display.

Oh well, it probably looked pretty cool from a different angle.

I glanced over my shoulder at the still slumbering Sky, rolling my eyes as a faint giggle emanated from within the sheets. Gave me a fucking heart attack when he had made a noise, he did.

He must be having a good dream.

"Now, where is the last of the uninvited?"

* * *

 **| POOR BASTARD 3 |**

"Was that…This isn't good."

Closing the small jewelry box in the room, the man slinked up and looked around the door jam, holding his breath as he watched the smallest of their trio's body get dragged into the room, eyes rolled back into his skull.

Someone else was in the house. How did they not know!?

All fear was immediately drained away, however, when a child stepped out of the door, barefoot and lightly dressed. Despite his small stature and overall unthreatening appearance, the look on his face showed he meant business and there wasn't going to be any small talk between.

Deciding to take the careful route, the man waited until the child's back was turned, before stepping out, his fist clenched in preparation. Stepping up behind the shadowed child, he prepared to bring his fist down on the back of its head, teeth gritted in tension.

Ready...And...No-

" _Yamaguchi-san!?"_

The child whipped around faster than he had expected one could, both of their eyes widening at the same time before the elder man doubled over as his stomach was hit with bruising force. Giving a gasp, his attempts to respond to the attack was rewarded with a kick to the chin, flooring him as his ears rung.

What kind of child…?!

" _Why is it, that when it's my head on the chopping block, that people like you rear your ugly heads?"_

The arm that was pushing himself upwards was kicked out from under him, before he swore, he saw bright amber light up in the kid's eyes, luminous in the dark hall. The little demon child raised his fist, and for the first time, the robber saw the muscle shift beneath the thin cloth.

" _I'm really tired, and you're_ really _annoying."_

 **| POOR BASTARD 3 |**

* * *

Scrambling back into the living room, I ran over to where Tsuna was flailing beneath the mass, still releasing loud noises.

"Sawada-san! What's wrong?"

Throwing off the sheets, I grabbed hold of his wrists, I stopped his rapid squirming.

"Yamaguchi-san! Snipe the one in the tower!"

…

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, staring at him.

"I'm gonna go on ahead...clear..the..path...zzzzz."

Dropping the boy's hands, I dumped the rest of the blankets on top of him, my face in deadpan.

"Mother fuckin-"

" _Bad words..."_ Came the muffled, airy voice.

"Speak for yourself, ordering me to fire shots at people like you're my boss." I scowled, before moving from the room, grabbing the two in the room and dragging them to their other companion.

…

The hum of the refrigerator signalled the restart of the electricity, making me look up from my post on the floor in front of Tsuna's couch.

My body cracked as I stood, three hours in the same position making my joints stiff and my nerves frayed. Every noise had set off an alarm in my mind, my nails made life-long beds in my palms.

Grabbing the phone, I began to dial 110, before pausing.

Should I call Hibari, or the police?

…

Hibari, the police will follow him either way.

Dialing the familiar number, I held the phone to my ear, before a sleep heavy voice sounded from the other end.

" _What?"_

"Oh, you sound angry." I hummed, glancing at Tsuna quickly.

" _Chattering Herbivore. Why the hell are you calling me at one in the morning?"_

"I understand this is a less than ideal time but I thought I should make you aware of the fact that three men have just broken into the Sawada residence with ill intentions."

" _I'll bite-"_

"Already done, friend. They're unconscious in the hall. So, you mind bringing some of your boys in blue over here? I'd call them myself, but I feel like they'd be more quiet if under your watch."

" _...Fine. You owe me, Chattering Herbivore."_

"Of course, I do. See you then, birdy."

Hanging up the phone, I walked back over to where the three were lined up against the wall, their hands tied behind their backs with Nana's knitting yarn.

I'm sure she'll understand.

"Nngh-"

I let the heel of my foot crash against the first man's temple, renewing the state I had put him in.

"Just stay asleep, please. Thank you."

…

"Good morning, Hibari-san, mister policeman." I hummed, opening the door, thankful for the lack of flashing, coloured lights.

"Good morning, Yamaguchi-san. Heard you had a bit of a-"

"Where are the men, Chattering Herbivore?" Hibari scowled, his pyjamas peeking through his DC jacket.

"In the hall, do you want to come in, or should I bring them to you?" I asked, stepping aside to show the line up.

"Ah, we ca-"

"Get them in the car." The Skylark huffed, stalking off.

I shrugged my shoulders before heading in, grabbing the two smaller men's arms with one hand and the largest with the other, before dragging them out the door, letting the adults force them into the car upright.

"Why are you at a herbivore's nest?" The Cloud asked, coming up behind me as the police turned their attention to one of the men who roused.

"I was asked to babysit the young Sawada." I responded, watching as the second man I took out began to shake.

" _I swear! He set me on fire! Like some sort of demon!"_

" _Okay, you just need to calm down."_

" _No, no, no! You've gotta believe me!"_

"What did you do to him?"

Blinking, I turned to the Cloud, giving a slight smile.

"Just gave him a bit of a scare, that's all."

"And the Sawada herbivore?" He asked, looking to the open door.

"Slept through the _whole_ thing. Lucky bastard."

"Saves you the trouble."

"Damn right."

We ceased our exchange as a policeman came forwards, a pleased yet tired smile on his face.

"Well done, Yamaguchi-san, you've been a big help. These three are wanted me for break ins around town."

"Glad to help, sir. Kaa-san said to call is anything goes wrong." I smiled, folding my hands behind my back and going full Child Mode.

As the man walked away, Hibari scoffed, an amused smirk on his face.

"That was actually sickening to watch."

"Oh shut it, we do what we have to to keep under their radars. Not all of us can take over the police, willy nilly."

If he were any less of a Cloud, he might just have rolled his eyes at me, but he settled for a dismissive grunt, walking away with a flourish of his cape.

"I'll hold you to your debt."

"Yeah, yeah. G'night, Hibari-san."

…

" _Boys? We're home!"_

" _Kaa-san!"_

I groaned as I pulled myself off of the couch, a crick forming in my neck as a nighttime of tension came back to haunt me.

"Daiki-kun! Come say hello to your mother!"

"Comin'!" I called, stepping into the hall.

Holding back a grumble, I let my mother hug me tightly, more than a little salty over the fact that Tsuna looked bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"Did you have fun with Daiki-kun?" Nana cooed, pushing her son's fringe back.

"Yeah! We played video games, and ate second dinner, and still got to bed on time!"

And nearly got robbed, possibly killed, got police here, got called a demon- oh, and I set a man on fire!

...Plus, I now owe the socially stunted skylark again.

"How 'bout you, honey, have fun?"

Other than that…

"Yeah, it was pretty enjoyable."

The two mothers smiled at each other as the small tuna sent me one of his own, looking brightly hopeful.

"Then, how about we do this again? There's a thing in Osaka I want to go to, and I know you'll love it too Nana-chan!"

"Oh, that'll be great! You okay with it, Tsuna-kun?"

"Uh huh!"

"And you, Daiki-kun?"

"Sure."

 _No._ No, I am not okay with this.

"Then it's a date!"

Please, _kill me._


	6. Mephisto vs Cow-pup

**|ONMAKE TO CHAPTER 19: Mephisto vs. Cow-pup|**

Mephisto really, really doesn't like Leader's pup.

"Bwahahahahaha! Lambo-sama is going to eat the white powdery stuff!"

Nope. Not letting that happen. These are The Bags that only Leader can touch. These are _The_ Holy Bags.

"Bwahahahahaha! Lambo-sama is going to steal some cake!"

'How dare he!' he growls, covered with some of the content of _The_ Holy Bags, due to his heroic efforts of keeping the den's balance. 'These are the peace offerings that our pack give out graciously to the other dens!'

And so, another of Lambo's nefarious plans was foiled.

"Uuuu… Stupid dog won't let me have some fun… WAAAAAHHH!"

Oh, for Leader's steely lady-balls' sake. Now his ears are being attacked too.

Mephisto really, really doesn't like pup-sitting Leader's pup.  
(And this is only Day One.)

* * *

 **Poor Mephisto... Lambo is really a handful, huh? Or should I say pawful? Hm...**

 **This is a pretty short onmake, but I think in this case 'Brevity is the soul of wit' or 'Short 'n Sweet' applies. It just feels right to keep this short.**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading! Bye!  
** **ThePlotbunnyBreeder**

 **PS: This chapter was directly-indirectly approved by LeNoRi.**


	7. A forgotten little beaker

**A forgotten little beaker containing a sourdough experiment**

 **Summary:** In which there is a stubbed toe, censored curses, smirks, and chaotic pain all-around. You want a helping?

 **Plunny:** This was pretty fun to write! Even though this was planned a pretty long time ago, and I've forgotten about it… Oh well. At least it's out now.  
Lenori helped and reminded me, so I'm pretty sure I have permission to post.

 **.**

 **WARNING:** Censored Swearing

 **Word Count:** 523

* * *

"HELLO SAWADA TO THE EXTREME!" "G'Day, Tsuna." Came the synced greeting.

Takeshi brightened. "Shunji-kun! Ryohei-nii!"

"H-Hello to you to Ryo-nii... Daiki-nii?" came the hesitant reply from the resident mafia boss candidate.

"Tch. Don't greet the Tenth so casually." Gokudera grumbled.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THE EXTREME? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU CLEARLY!"

"AAARRRGH SHUT UP YOU KNUCKLEHEAD!" The bomber's temper snapped quite quickly, maybe he had an exceptionally bad day? "YOU ARE GONNA BURST TENTH'S EARDRUMS!"

The person in question deadpanned. ' _Why is my life so… so… hm… I can't find a fitting word..._ ' he continued to ponder deep in thought, not noticing Daiki's odd mutterings and the yelling in the background.

"Everyday with sh...sweets like this." Daiki sighed. "So much Red Bull. Every. Single. Day."

"Ahaha! Don't you think this is amusing shunji-kun?"

But alas, fate shows his ugly mug again, for we shall never know how the small-talk of our all-time favorite pairing will derail.

"HIEEE!"

Our favorite tuna-fish has, again, tripped over a thin air. This would have not been unusual, and certainly nothing for him to shriek about, _but-_

His rapidly expanding shadow fell over a very random, and very sharp looking, rock, _which he could swear it wasn't there just a moment ago!  
_...and wait. Is that a wink-emoticon?

Closing his eyes to brace himself for the pain, because despite the wink-emoticon ( _What the heck is up with that?_ ), the rock is bound to smash through his skin and tissue and oh gOD- He didn't notice Daiki rushing forward and catching him, but also tripping over the same rock because of it.

"HOLY MOTHER OF STALE FUDGE! WHAT THE ROTTEN ACROBATS! YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, HUH?"

Gokudera and Tsuna halted their movement (namely throwing dynamite and shrieking like a girl) to stare blankly at the curled-up Daiki, who is rocking himself back and forth, holding his left feet in a vice-grip.

Ryohei grinned and (EXTREMELY!) giggled: "Hehe, you said _bats_."

" _ACRO_ BATS ARE A WHOLE 'NOTHER ROTTING THING YOU DRIED PIECE OF BREAD FOR BRAINS!"

Tsuna sighed. _Of course_ , he couldn't have a normal, non-cussing, normally-cussing-if-cussing, afternoon. Or day. Or week. Whatever.

Gokudera joins in, because even though he appreciates that Daiki is so in awe of the Tenth to censor himself, he is still yelling, and that is bad for the eardrums of his precious Tenth.

Cue the begin of another round.

Takeshi laughs lightheartedly at the drama, and pats Tsuna at the back.

Which motivates (read: railes up) Gokudera even more, and- Yep. The fireworks are here!

With Takeshi's cheering and laughing, Ryohei's roars of "EXTREME!", Gokudera's dynamites' explosions and yelling, with an undertone of Daiki's curses, you can summon the Demon of Namimori himself.

 **...**

A Smirk_Ver.03: Everything-is-going-to-plan. creeps onto Reborn's face, and he lets out a rare cackle as shrieks of terror cut through the chaotic cloud of audible suffering.

Who needs a Spotify-Account when you have _this_?

Yes, this is one of the main reasons why he decided to tutor, he smirks the Smirk_Ver.12: Ah,-this-the-life.

Leon rolls his eyes and smacks his cheek; Less reminiscing, more snacking!

And that they do.

* * *

 **Translator: Curses á la Daiki into Normal-Speak:**

Bastard Stale Bread (courtesy of Ryohei)

Flippin' Hell Rotten Acrobats

Fuck Stale Fudge

Shit Sweets!

Motherfucker Stale Fudge Eater

Mother of Fuck Mother of Stale Fudges

Ultimate Insult (so far) Leftover Goods that Nobody wants, which NEVER happened  
at MY bakery of awesome-ness of course.


	8. Smut

**Smut**

 **(Have some faith, jeez!)**

 **LeNoRi:** I swear, this isn't going to be an NSFW thing! I swear!

 **Plunny:** Our titles are being typical not-titles again, not doing their job correctly and other things. So no worries...

 **LeNoRi:** Click bait.

 **Plunny:** That'll be implying that this is spam, which it is not. It's very short 'n sweet. Pinky promise and all that.

 **Word Count:** 265

* * *

Daiki gave a quiet sigh as he shifted, his chin rested on his palm as he laid out on his belly, sheets pooling around the small of his back. Using his thumb, the third year scrolled down the text wall displayed on his phone, the brightness lowered as to not disturb his partner who curled up beside him. It didn't seem to be enough, however, as the young Yamamoto stirred suddenly, a noise of awakening leaving him as he peered up at the illuminated face.

"Daiki-kun...What're you doing?" He grumbled, voice low from sleep.

"Reading." The elder answered, scrolling further.

"Reading what?"

"Smut."

Takeshi blinked at the blatant response, the blue haired boy not even looking away from the dirty dialect as he admitted his venture. The young Rain then stared pointedly at his significant other, a sudden attentiveness in his eyes.

"I'm right here, you know." He stated, making his fiance finally tear his gaze from the salacious script.

Daiki looked down at his smaller partner for a moment, before lowering his head and planting a quick kiss on younger's lips.

"Not tonight." He hummed, returning to his literature.

The Yamamoto son watched the other for a few heartbeats, before sighing softly and moving closer, peeking at the screen in curiosity.

"Can I read too?" The Rain asked.

"Sure." His partner agreed, moving to accommodate for the other as he squirmed under a tanned arm, happily humming at the warmth and closeness.

"Tell me when you're done with the page, okay?" Daiki said, moving the phone to the midpoint between them.

"Will do."


	9. Dual Daiki-ing

**|Requested Chapter|**

 **Dual Daiki-ing**

 **Yamaguchi and Aomine (finally) meet!**

 **Patience Is A Virtue**

 **Guest:** _This is just an idea but wouldn't it be really cool if Yamaguchi Daiki met Aomine Daiki! Like the GoM stop in Namimori for some reason (you can come up with it) and just meet or see Daiki. It could be in the bakery (Murasakibara likes sweets) or just him randomly doing basketball for some reason (In his red and black fitness shirt of course)! Their reactions to seeing an Aomine Daiki doppleganger minus the attitude would be PRICELESS! This one shot is just an idea of mine, you can take it if you want (or completely ignore it) I don't mind. Thanks for reading this and I really enjoy your omakes!_

 **The Baker's Daughter**

 **Guest:** _You now I want someone to make a crossover of Knb and this story. Just imagining Aomine Daiki meeting Yamaguchi Daiki. Two carbon copies in the same room! There are quite a bit of differences between them. Like how Daiki is more of a fighter than a basketball player. I hope someone makes it. One-shot or something, you can take this idea if anyone wants it._

…

 **LeNoRi:** Yes, we read the reviews, and we are here to deliver. :) And yes, I sat down and went through _all_ 486 +7 reviews to find these specific two. Praise me.

 **Plunny:** Consider yourself praised, I (hopefully) won't even need holy water this time! (Holy shit! Over 7K words!)

…

 **Of course, this is not 'canon', and any and all things that happen in this one-shot thing have no impact on the main story of TB'sD.**

 **Word Count:** 7549

* * *

 **Time Frame:**

 **KHR:** After Kokuyo Arc, before Varia Arc

 **KnB:** Pre-Canon, Teiko days.

* * *

"What the fuck? Namimori? Where the hell is that?"

"Aomine-kun, try to keep your profanities to a minimum."

The Teiko Ace spun around to glare down at his shadow, a huff of annoyance leaving him as he crossed his tanned arms.

"I don't get why coach wants us to play at some no-name school. It's fucking dumb!"

"Oh, c'mon, Aominecchi. They might be a challenge! We don't know since we've never heard of them before." The blond copy-cat smiled, throwing an arm over the blue haired boy's shoulder.

"The horoscope for the majority of the signs foretells confusing and exciting events, perhaps this will be why."

The trio of boys turned together to look at the player beside them, bandaged fingers straightening glasses habitually as his other hand clutched a small and yellow bird figurine. Aomine Daiki pulled a face as the rest of the so called ' _Generation of Miracles'_ strode into the Teiko gym.

"I see you have all received the news, then?" Akashi hummed, blinking heterochromic eyes at them.

"Why the fuck are we going to a school in the middle of nowhere?! I've never even heard of Namimori!" The ace snapped again, shoving Kise off of him.

"Hm, Namimori isn't all that far away, actually." Kuroko suddenly stated, a good portion of the attending choking on spit on surprise.

"Fuck! Kuroko-kun, don't do that!"

"Kurokocchi!"

"Hello, Kuroko-kun."

"Good afternoon, Murasakibara-kun. As I was saying, Namimori isn't that far away, my aunt has a friend in the next town over from it." The Phantom continued, looking to the red haired Emperor.

"It's only three hours from Tokyo by car."

Akashi nodded in understanding before casting his eyes to the door, the barrier slamming open seconds after to reveal their manager as she dashed in with a small pile of papers. Momoi gave a loud breath as she came to a stop before the rainbow squad, Kise smiling in greeting.

"I have the permission slips! You all need to hand them in by next week." The pink haired girl chirped, handing each player a piece.

"What about the other Teiko members, Momoi-chan." Kuroko asked, taking the sheet from her hands gratefully.

"Hm?" She sounded, before smiling and shaking her head.

"Oh, coach could only get a select few out of classes. The third years are too busy with the exams, and the first years are still too inexperienced. So here you are, second years, right in the green."

The rest of the GoM made noises of understanding as they halfheartedly read the requirements of the excursion, Aomine shoving it in his bag without care.

"Whatever," The ace sighed, taking steps away from the brightly coloured team. "I doubt they'll be worth anything."

"Be sure to come to school by seven, Aomine-san." Akashi called, neatly folding his own note.

"Yeah, yeah." Aomine grunted, walking out the door.

"Dai-chan, wait up! Ah, bye-bye, Tetsu-kun!" Momoi called, before chasing after her friend.

Kuroko waved politely as the others began filtering out, the giant of the team muttering about having to look up all the places that sell good sweets in Namimori. Eventually, only the short duo were left in the gym, pale blue and red looking to each other as the door swung closed.

"What are your thoughts on this Namimori Middle?" Akashi asked, clasping his hand behind his back.

Kuroko blinked slowly as he thought it over, a slight tilt coming to his head as he gave a small hum. Soon after, he shrugged, straightening himself out.

"I don't really know. But, I suppose, it may be interesting."

This peaked the Emperor's interest, his brief years of knowing the slightly shorter boy proving that such an event was unusual and rare.

"Oh?" He asked, prompting elaboration.

"It's only a feeling. Perhaps wishful thinking, really." The Phantom player responded, zipping up his bag and securing it on his shoulder.

"But, even if Namimori Middle doesn't provide a challenge, my aunt says that there's a bakery there that- and I quote- is to die for."

"Ah," Akashi breathed, gesturing for his companion to walk with him. "What's this place called?"

"Yamaguchi Bakery."

* * *

"Chattering Herbivore."

"Oh, hey Hibari-san."

Yamaguchi Daiki looked up from his homework to view the Skylark perched on his window sill, curtains fluttering dramatically in the nighttime air, as they usually did when the older boy came around.

"What can I do for you on this _auspicious_ occasion?" He asked, stressing the word theatrically.

If Hibari had been any less of a Cloud, he might just have rolled his eyes at the younger, but the status quo would not allow for that, forcing him to merely let his lips tilt downward slightly and release an unamused grunt. Stepping off the sill, the DC head crossed the room before sitting himself down on the side of the baker's son's desk, one leg coming to cross over the other.

"Nami-chuu is going to have another school's sports team visit us for Wednesday, Teiko. I want you to keep alert in case they cause a disturbance."

"Oh? And if they do?" Daiki hummed, leaning his cheek on his fist as he smiled up at the Skylark.

"Do what is necessary to maintain order. Force, if required." Hibari grunted, crossing his arms.

"Will do, but I doubt they'll do anything too strange. They'll probably be busy practicing."

"Not everyone is as devoted to their sports as that Yamamoto boy of yours." The Cloud huffed, nodding his head to the lump in the green and gold sheets.

"If you say so, but you've seen those guys, right? Some of them act like they've only got one shot." The Sun hummed, looking to the sleeping teen.

Daiki got to his feet and began crossing the room, mattress sinking slightly as he sat on the side. A faint sound arose from the mass behind him, tanned hand slinking out from under the covers to feel around for his. The Yakuza heir smiled before wrapping the wondering limb in his own and planting a kiss on the back, a sigh escaping the Rain hidden in his cocoon

"So, this Teiko's coming to Namimori next Wednesday. Be aware, don't let them do anything dumb. That all?"

"Hm, yeah." Hibari assured, giving a decisive nod.

"Great, I'll do my best. Can you turn off the lamp on your way out?" Daiki asked, looking to the desk lamp that illuminated the room dully.

"Goodnight, handler."

"Goodnight, birdy."

The tall Yamaguchi gently unravelled the sheets from around the other boy as darkness consumed the room, the sounds of the window sliding shut proving that the Skylark had made his exit. Takeshi wasted no time in wrapping himself around the body of warmth provided to him, the soft laugh that left the Yakuza making him give a quiet huff as he buried his face into the other's shoulder, leg wedged between Daiki's own.

"Hey, love." The Sun hummed, seeing mocha orbs look at him through slitted eyelids.

"Mhm...Who was that?" The Rain asked, shifting as an arm was thrown over his side, the other sliding under his head to act as a pillow.

"It was Hibari-san. He came around to inform me of an incursion happening soon. Wednesday."

"Ah…" Takeshi breathed, blinking slowly.

"Why did you leave the bed?"

Daiki smiled as the sight of a sleepy fiancé made a warmth swell in his chest, nose coming to bump against the other's, eliciting a small sound of surprise.

"You're adorable, Takeshi-kun." He cooed, nuzzling his intended as arms began to tighten around him.

"Hm, I know I am. Now, answer the question."

"Wow," The Yakuza laughed, hand coming to play with the short hairs at the base of the swordsman's skull, "No modesty in this one. I had some things to finish, that's all."

"Shujin-kun, if I didn't have any modesty, I wouldn't be wearing any clothes right now. And neither would you, for that matter." Takeshi stated, voice lilting as-a-matter-of-factly.

Daiki blinked before wondering why he was even surprised anymore, knowing full well that the younger boy was rather _forward_ with his words.

"Takeshi-kun, do I need to bathe you in holy water?"

"Why?"

"To regain your purity."

"Why bother? It will all be wasted the second I so much as hear you again."

The Sun gave a loud laugh at that, before tilting his head to let it drop onto the smaller's shoulder. He hummed before opening his mouth and letting teeth lightly scrape across skin, a sound of pleasant surprise leaving the young Yamamoto.

"Hm, I guess getting to see you in a bath will have to wait."

"Oh, is _that_ what you wanted? And you say I'm bad."

"Maybe. And oh, you are." Daiki hummed, before shifting to hug his fiancé close.

"So, this incursion?" Takeshi asked, their play fully waking him.

"Teiko, a middle school from one of the bigger cities. It's one of their sports teams, but I don't know which one; might be baseball. Hope so, at least."

The Rain made a noise of interest, tilting his head back to view the taller's.

"That'd be cool, but our first years are still a bit rough around the edges." He admitted, moving his hand along the arm wrapped around his side, gently groping the muscled limb.

"I'm sure they'll be great by the time you're through with them." Daiki assured, tensing his arm to make the hand bounce.

"Yeah, there's this one kid, _damn_ can he hit a ball!"

The Yakuza let out a laugh at the Mafia's enthusiasm, a smile coming to his face as he listened to the other titter animatedly about how he was going to make that diamond in the rough shine. Eventually, the Sun began noticing his partner's fatigue, a slight airy quality coming to his voice as his blinks became slow. The Rain didn't seem to realise his own state, full ready to talk through the night, which he probably would have, if not for the sudden smothering kiss dropped on his lips.

"Time for bed, love. You're tired, I can tell."

Takeshi pouted as he tried to chase after the broken kiss, a sound of disappointment coming as he dropped his head back onto Daiki's arm.

"Goodnight, shujin-kun. I love you." The Yamaguchi hummed, nuzzling his fiancé in attempts to settle him.

The address and claim of emotion did the job wonderfully, the Rain responding by planting a small barrage of kisses along the tanned bicep of his pillow.

"G'night, shujin-kun. I love you too."

* * *

Momoi gave a loud gasp of relief as she saw Aomine come through the gates, the air still chilled from the night.

"You actually came on time!" She squealed, grabbing his head and squashing it against her breast in her own kind of hug.

"..."

"Momoi-chan, I do not believe he can breath." Kuroko suddenly commented, popping his head out from within the minibus.

"Oh! Dai-chan, you should have said something!"

The Teiko ace took a deep breath of air as he was released, a harsh glare coming off before he shoved past, waving his middle finger at the long time friend.

"How can I talk when you're boobs are smothering me!?"

Momoi pouted and crossed her arms, a huff leaving her as she followed the other into the minibus, dropping down in the vacant seat beside Kuroko.

"So," Akashi started suddenly, up front in shotgun as usual. "What can you tell us about Namimori, Kuroko-kun."

"Uh, well." The Phantom began, bringing his gaze up from his phone.

"It's a small town, I suppose. Quiet, but not overly so. I believe it has quite the weekend markets, though."

"That's great," Aomine grouched, hands behind his head as he took up the single seat. "But what about the players?"

Kuroko blinked slowly before looking out the window in thought, a hum leaving him as he turned back.

"I have no idea."

The Teiko ace frowned before sinking further into his seat, turning to watch the city turn into highway.

The remainder of the trip was in relative peace, as peaceful as having the GoM squished into a minibus for three hours could get, that is.

"Hey, Kise-kun, stop kicking my seat!"

"It's too cramped in here."

"Shut the fuck up, will you! I'm trying to take a nap!"

"I can't get a signal to check the horoscope update."

"Kurokocchi, take a selfie with me!"

"I should have taken the corvette."

"I wonder if we can stop for milk shakes…"

"Ah, my phone didn't charge! Dai-chan, give me your cable!"

The coach of the Teiko basketball team twitched in his seat, wondering if these guys were really worth it, despite their in game skills.

"Don't fret, sensei." Akashi hummed, smiling at the road ahead of them.

"There's only two and a half hours of this left. Not including the return trip."

If the man was less scared of the prodigy, he might just have groaned.

…

"Okay, boys and girl! We're here!"

Momoi smiled at the back of the coach's seat before sliding out, her small legion of boys following after.

"So this is Namimori Middle." Akashi breathed, hands folded behind his back as he viewed the school building with apathy.

"Looks like every other school in Japan." Aomine huffed, glaring off to the side as he took back his charger cable from Momoi.

"The principal said that their disciplinary committee head will come to collect you." The coach informed, before driving off the park their transport.

"Ah, I think that's him."

Multicolored eyes turned at Kuroko's call, a figure making itself known from the doors of the building, open jacket billowing after him. He was of regular height and build, Asian features obvious as he stepped up in front of the GoM, regarding them with an unimpressed gaze.

"Hello, we're from Teiko Middle in-"

"Yes, I know who you are." He cut off, slate orbs piercing the blond player.

The basketballers blinked in surprise, unused to such an action from a response to their friendliest player.

Grayscale eyes dragged along their line up, examining each member before landing on the ace, eyebrows lowering into a furrow of aggravation.

"What are you doing?" The unnamed student asked, making Aomine raise an eyebrow.

"You talkin' to me?" He snapped, crossing his arms.

This made the other frown more, jacket swaying as he stepped closer and narrowed his eyes at the blue haired boy.

"Wrong eye colour. Too short. Not enough muscle. Voice is too high." He said suddenly, before moving back and dismissing the jaw dropped male.

"The fuck!? 'Too short'! I'm taller than you!" The ace roared, falling silent as a cold beam of metal touched his throat.

The GoM tensed at the sudden display of weaponry, confusion bombarding them as they finally noticed the tonfa grasped in the boy's hands. Aomine gulped, skin brushing the metallic surface, before baring his teeth at the DC head.

"The hell are you doing!? You can't just-"

"Quiet, herbivore."

The slate eyed boy then pulled a phone from his pocket and clicked a speed dial, other hand still holding the ace at bay.

"Get me my handler. To my office." He ordered, before shutting the device and stepping away from the frozen Aomine.

"My name is Hibari Kyoya. This is Namimori."

And with that he turned and walked, not so much as glancing over his shoulder to make sure they followed.

Kuroko stood beside Aomine as the tanned boy rubbed his neck, the faint sting of cold still lingering on the skin. The Teiko students glanced at each other unsurely before chasing after the Namimori tyrant, eventually coming to a stop at the school gym.

"Club activities will begin in fifteen minutes, I suggest you get used to the layout until then." Hibari grunted, before walking out the door and leaving the GoM to their devices in this dangerous school.

"Dai-chan, are you okay?!" Momoi asked, grabbing the taller's collar to check for injuries.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just-" Aomine cut himself off with a scowl.

"He thought you were someone else for a moment, didn't he?" Akashi commented, drawing the memory up.

"Yeah! He did!" Kise responded, eyes widening in realisation.

"Okay ladies, cut the chatter! Let's get you warmed up, you need to stretch your legs after that ride. You especially, Murasakibara-kun." Coach called, pulling the group from their topic.

Aomine scowled but followed his teammates into the changeroom, the lot of them stripping off and suiting up.

Who could possibly get mixed up with Aomine Daiki? The only one who could be like him, was him.

* * *

Yamaguchi Daiki sighed as a DC member stuck his head into his classroom, an expression of apology obvious as he watched the third year rise from his seat.

"Let me guess, the birdy got his feathers all ruffled?"

"Uh...If you mean that Hibari-sama has called for you, then yes?"

Amber-earth glanced at the teacher and gave a thanks as he was given the go-ahead, bag replaced and shoved onto his shoulder as he followed the new member of the DC out. At the door of the reception room, Daiki was left by himself, the small pompadour dashing off as Hibari's voice came through.

"Get in here, Chattering Herbivore."

"Afternoon, Hibari-san. Long time no see!"

"I saw you this morning."

"I know. I was being sarcastic."

The Sun sighed and walked further into the room, dropping himself on one of the couches before looking to the Skylark seated at his desk.

"So, why'd you call me, birdy? Not that I'm complaining about an early mark, of course."

"Do you have any siblings?" Hibari grunted, getting straight to it.

Daiki blinked in confusion, head falling to the side as he tried to piece together whatever the bird was trying to tell him, before eventually shaking a 'no'.

"No, none that I am aware of. Why do you ask?"

The Cloud frowned, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms.

"Hm." He huffed, closing his eyes and relaxing slightly as he prepared to sleep.

The Sun rolled his eyes at the response before getting up and crossing the room, lofting the older boy from his chair easily. Hibari didn't react as he was carried across the room, the taller boy disposing of him gently onto the couch.

"Have a nap, birdy. The bell doesn't ring for another ten minutes, so I'll hang around until then." Daiki breathed, dropping down in the opposite seating.

"Quiet, handler."

"Okay, okay."

* * *

Aomine scowled as he felt his skin crawl under the eyes of the other gym occupants, the Namimori Middle students looking at him with wide eyes and even wider mouths.

" _My God, that can't be him, right?"_

" _No, he's too short, see!"_

" _Look at his eyes! His eyes are wrong!"_

" _Yeah! Oh, thank the Lord!"_

" _Holy shit, that's trippy."_

" _Ah...is he like, a long lost twin?"_

"Can we just play already, God damn it!?" The ace roared, having enough of the barely whispers.

His team shifted around him, unsure about the reactions they were getting, before looking to the Namimori captain as he turned to one of the benched players.

"Go get Yamaguchi-san! He should be at the baseball practice game!"

"Yes, senpai!"

"Okay teams, let's get this underway!" The coaches boomed, finally finishing whatever conversation they were having.

The toss couldn't come soon enough for the Teiko ace, his feet already moving as fingers skimmed the barely airborne ball. Heavy foot falls were the only warning for the Namimori team, their wide eyes slowly turning to the hanging GoM.

Aomine glared at the home team as he held onto the hoop, ball bouncing away after an unhindered slam dunk.

"Focus, asshole! The only me, is me!" He roared, knees bending as he hit the ground and stormed back to his side of the court.

The Teiko students cast their gaze over their opponents, an unimpressed expression marring the lot of them as they took in the less than stellar competition.

"I told you, they won't be worth anything." Aomine huffed, not even bothering to stance himself as the other team got possession.

"I guess you were right, Aominecchi."

It was a one sided thrashing from there, the few scores made by Nami-chuu easily stomped out by the GoM's barrage of nonstop points. With basket after basket and steal after steal, it was obvious that the weaker team was beginning to give up trying against the powerhouses.

" _I've got Yamaguchi-senpai!"_

"Oh, again with the mother fucking Yamaguchi!?" Aomine groaned, throwing his head back in aggravation.

" _Not even going to add on an honorific? Quite the rude one, aren't you?"_

Holy shit, his voice sounds like sex.

Kise's jaw dropped openly as the others managed to keep some of their decorum, baffled expressions obvious as their eyes snapped between their own and Namimori's.

"Ah...ah, Aominecchi? Do you have, like, a big brother you should have told us about?"

"Yep, I'm out." Aomine said suddenly, finally able to pry his eyes away from his doppleganger.

"Likewise." Yamaguchi mimicked, turning on his heel and proceeding to get the fuck out.

"No, no, no! We need to know what the hell is going on here!" The Namimori captain yelped, grabbing hold of the taller boy and towing him back into the gym.

"Aomine-kun, come here."

"Go to hell, Akashi-kun!"

"Murasakibara-kun."

"Yeah, yeah."

Aomine roared and kicked up a fuss as the purple giant dragged him back, the two mirror images forced before each other with varying expressions of distrust. As the two eyed each other, Yamaguchi was the first to talk.

"Do you, by any chance, know of a man by the name of Yamada?"

The Teiko ace blinked before scowling and shaking his head.

"Why would I?"

A sigh of relief left the taller of the duo, a small smile coming to his face as he relaxed slightly.

"Good, I don't have to kill him, then."

Kill?

The GoM latched onto the word more literally than they usually would, the memory of Hibari still very much fresh in their minds.

"You have such a nice way of speaking! So polite! Dai-chan, why can't you talk like that?" Momoi squealed, circling the older boy as she examined him up and down.

"You want me to talk like I'm the goddamn dictionary!?"

"No, just with a bit more…"

"Finesse?" Yamaguchi offered, making the pink haired girl nod quickly in agreement.

"Yeah! Finesse!"

"Case and point." Aomine grumbled, before wincing as Kuroko suddenly poked him in the side.

The Teiko ace turned and raised an eyebrow as he viewed the rest of his generation, taking a moment to bask in the rare displays of utter confusion and stupor on their faces.

"What the hell, Aomine-kun?" Midorima managed out, his usually perfect glasses sliding dangerously low.

"Well, what's your name, anyway?" Yamaguchi asked, stepping up beside his double.

"Tell me yours first." The shorter shot back.

The Sun didn't seem bothered by his sharp tongue, a patient smile coming to his face as he responded.

"Yamaguchi Daiki, pleasure to meet you."

…

"Oh dear, I believe Kise-kun just fainted." Kuroko hummed numbly, looking down at the blond player.

"D-D-Daiki!?" Aomine squeaked, Momoi coming to his side with a similar expression.

"Only one 'D'."

The GoM choked mutely as they tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. Two boys who look almost exactly the same and have the same given names.

"From your reaction, I'm going to take a wild guess and say we share that as well. Aomine Daiki." Yamaguchi sighed, before straightening and turning to the still stunned Teiko.

"I suppose you were received by Hibari-san, correct? Not what I'd call the best introduction to the school, I promise, we're not all as... _Intense_ , as he is."

Akashi gathered himself quickly, the slight part of his lips sealing as he kicked back into gear and straightened himself out.

"You would be correct in your suspicions, we were received by Hibari Kyoya, as he called himself."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Kise interrupted, reviving himself. "You can't change the subject like that!"

"I agree, we all need a bit of solace. Take Murasakibara-kun, for example." The green haired shooter huffed, moving to fix his glasses.

Following his recommendation, the two Daikis looked to the purple giant, amusement pulling roughly at their lips when they noticed the unmoving nature of the boy, paused mid-bite.

"Are you okay there, Murasakibara-san?" Yamaguchi asked, seemingly ever amused smile on his face.

"..."

A quiet laugh escaped the taller Daiki as the purple giant quickly animated himself again, his eyes dropping to the third year.

"Your last name is Yamaguchi, yeah? As in the Yamaguchi Bakery?" Murasakibara questioned, expression shifting ever so slightly into one of vague excitement at the other's nod.

"The very same, I'm the baker's son."

"Yamaguchi Bakery is highly rated, I plan on visiting before we leave for Teiko again."

"You're welcome to, we'd be happy to have you."

"You changed the topic again!"

"It would appear that Aomine-san and I are similar in appearance- uncannily so- and we just so happen to meet. This issue has been discussed and resolved, so may we please move on?" Yamaguchi sighed, looking to the frazzled copy cat.

"No! It hasn't been resolved in my heart!"

Aomine rolled his eyes at the boy's dramatics, instead sticking his gaze on his source of discomfort. Yamaguchi Daiki was sight to see, no doubt, and the basketballer couldn't call him anything less than handsome without downplaying his own attractiveness. Nonetheless, having someone be almost your perfect replica was more than a little disconcerting.

"Don't worry yourself over it," Yamaguchi hummed, suddenly at his side, the GoM having their own little group breakdown. "Despite out similar appearance, we are still very much individuals. You said it yourself, I talk like a dictionary, you do not."

"We look more than similar, Yamaguchi-san. We look practically identical."

"A coincidence of amazing proportions. Trust me, I am just as unsettled by sharing a face as you are, my friend."

"I am not your 'friend'." Aomine huffed, coming to cross his arms.

" _Hey, hey, hey! Why'd the game stop!?"_

"Finally noticed, huh?" The Sun breathed, before turning to the coaches.

"Why are you here, Yamaguchi-san?" The Namimori coach asked, making his fellow snap his head between the two Daikis.

"Wait-How?!"

"We've already discussed this in length, sensei. You're disengagement to the situation is no fault of ours, neither is your confusion or unanswered questions." The third year cut off, raising his hand to halt the teachers.

"I do believe the game has been put on hold for long enough so why don't I- What the _fuck_ is that?"

The gym flinched at the sudden harshness of the Sun's tone, heads snapping to the man at the vulgar language. Amber-earth turned on the Namimori captain with an intensity that made Aomine seize up, legs tensing in preparation to move.

People watched as Yamaguchi crossed the distanced and kept walking, the Namimori captain eventually bumping against the wall as a hand slammed up above his head. The Sun loomed over the smaller third year, his face way too close to the other's as a faint hue coloured the cheeks beneath fearful eyes.

"Yamaguchi-san?"

" _Kaito-san,"_ Yamaguchi purred, an almost Mexican wave of stiffening going through the teams. "Care to explain to me that score board over there?"

"A-ah, um, well, you see these guys, they're, um-"

Aomine snorted loudly as he rejoined his team, the players still a bit light headed from the double vision.

"Can you blame them? They're no match for us."

Yamaguchi looked to his other from the corner of his eye, amber-earth clashing with deep blue as the unspoken challenge was conveyed by the snarky teen.

"Okay then…" The Sun growled, before pushing off the wall.

"Kaito-san, I'm going to borrow your boys."

The Namimori captain let out a breath as he slid down to the floor, eyes still wide and his shorts tenting.

"Sure, Yamaguchi-san. Anything you want."

The GoM watched in mild confusion as the Namimori student plucked the clipboard from the manager's hands, little first year squeaking in surprise. He scanned through the contents, flipping pages before sighing and handing it back, turning to face the fidgeting team.

"Let's give this a try, then." Yamaguchi hummed, before reaching out and grabbing a duo of players.

"You, kick me in the side." He ordered, patting his right side.

"What!? Yamaguchi-senpai I-"

"Do as you are told."

The second year jumped at the tone before lowering his head, expression showing uncertainty as he brought his leg up and sent his foot into the tender flesh. Kise's jaw fell once more as the taller Daiki have a thoughtful hum before turning to the other he had snagged, no outward reaction to a full, roundhouse kick.

"And now you."

This one held less hesitation, no regard for the elder's health held as he slammed his limb along the target, eyes widening when Yamaguchi didn't so much as wince.

"Okay," The Sun suddenly declared, straightening himself. "You go from the left, you from the right. You're both short, but you have sufficient leg power that will allow you to make up for that."

The two teammates looked at each other, before shrugging and nodding at their upperclassman, who then turned and grabbed another boy.

"I want you to sit out."

"Wh- Why!?" He yelped, landing heavily on the bench as the runner was dragged off.

"Just sit and observe the game, it will do you well." Yamaguchi stated, before turning to the manager.

"Give him a ten minute cool down before letting him get back in."

"Yes, senpai." The girl responded, nodding her head quickly.

"You and you, pair up. You're best friends now, don't ignore each other like you have been. One doesn't move without the other."

The two boys that had been called out grimaced at the order before their teammates pushed them together, their shoulders bumping as they met.

"I want you three to rotate that formation you have going. It's good, but having the same spearhead can make it predictable."

"Sir, yes sir!"

"You, the one hiding behind Kaito-san, I want you to use your size to your advantage. You have less weight to carry and take up less space, be smart with it."

"Y-yes sir!"

With the last rearrangement done, Yamaguchi turned to the whole team with crossed arms, eyes narrowed into a glare.

"If you can't bring those numbers up, you'll be running warm ups with the boxing club!"

The Namimori team paled exponentially at the threat, the boys immediately fleeing the bench to station themselves along their side of the court. The GoM raised a collective eyebrow at the sudden motivation within the once meek team, wondering just what was going on with this 'boxing club'.

"What's wrong with the boxing club?" Kise voiced, making the Namimori manager perk up.

"Yamaguchi-senpai is the vice-captain of Namimori's boxing club, they've become really intense with their workouts since Sasagawa-senpai became the captain."

Momoi blinked before looking down at the other girl's clipboard.

"What exactly is in that? Yamaguchi-san made a whole new arrangement just from reading it."

"Hm?" The first year blinked before laughing and turning the board around. "Oh, mostly just the basics. There's a few game plans and timetables, a couple workout regimes. Names, too, of course."

"Shit." Aomine whistled, getting a giggle from the girl.

"Yeah, Yamaguchi-senpai is pretty impressive."

"But wait," Midorima suddenly spoke, making the others turn. "If Yamaguchi-san is in the boxing club, why was he at baseball practice?"

The Teiko team paused as the Namimori student gave them a baffled look that morphed into one of deadpan, a few seconds of silence ticking by until she suddenly straightened.

"Oh! Haha, sorry, it's common knowledge around here, so I forgot you didn't know!" She laughed, tapping her head with her clipboard.

"Yamaguchi-senpai's boyfriend is in the baseball club, so he sometimes goes to watch their practice games."

…

" _What!?"_

"I know," She sighed, hugging her board to her chest. "It's such a shame."

He's _gay!?_ Aomine's look alike was-

"Hahaha!" Kise burst, his self-restraint nonexistent.

"He's not gay, if you were wondering." The Namimori manager chirped, pausing the copycat's glee.

"A girl asked after he turned her confession down, thinking that was why, but he told her that he wasn't. Yamaguchi-senpai is pansexual, actually."

"Aw, why do you have to take away my happiness, Manager-chan?" The blond player pouted, a sigh of relief leaving the blue haired one.

"I have a name you know. It's Yukio, not that you asked."

Kise's smile stuttered for a moment before it revived, his long arm slinging itself over her shoulder.

"Sorry, Yukio-chan! That's such a cute name!"

"Thanks, but could you take your arm off me? I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate you being so handsy." Yukio hummed, pointing to a glowering volleyball player from across the gym.

Kise immediately stepped back, his hands clasping behind his back as he moved to hide behind Murasakibara, the purple giant blinking slowly.

"I want that score evened out, at the very least! Got it!?" Yamaguchi roared, voice bouncing off walls and polished floors as the victims jolted to attention.

"Yes, sir!"

The Sun nodded before turning and looking to the coach, walking off the court as he waved his hand dismissively.

"All yours, sensei."

Aomine almost released a cry of celebration as the game finally got back on track, players shooting off from their stations to follow the ball and screen off opponents.

...Well shit, Yamaguchi is no joke.

Aomine bared his teeth as his charge was forcefully stopped, a three man screen coming up to block him. He gave a rough sounds as he moved to the side quickly, a flash of the Namimori colours his only warning to move the ball before the small one from before made a grab for the now vacant space.

"Ah, sorry senpai! I wasn't fast enough!" He cried, quickly abandoning his task to go back to the mass of his team.

"No worries, we were close! Just need to get closer!"

Yeah, they got _really_ close.

Aomine scowled as he gave up the ball to seemingly empty air, pale blue taking possession as the Light launched forwards, his screen in disarray. Slamming his feet down, the Light's knees bent as he prepared to make a jump, ball slipping into his hands from the phantom. With his body now airborne, Aomine prepared to jam the basket, only to widen his eyes as his view was obscured by two blockers, the ones that had kicked Yamaguchi.

The rightmost jumper brought his hand down and punched the ball from Aomine's possession, the other duo already waiting for it and passing it between them as they worked around Murasakibara, the giant fumbling slightly as smaller forms swapped possession rapidly.

"Senpai!" One shouted, before passing it to Kaito who was already mid-jump, hand slamming the ball into Teiko's hoop.

"Yes!" They roared, fistpumping in victory as their counter went up one.

"Don't you all celebrate just yet, there's still a fifteen point gap! I want that gone!" Yamaguchi snapped, making the Namimori quickly dash back into form, Yukio giving a giggle at their expense.

"Jeez," Kise laughed hesitantly. "He sounds like a drill sergeant."

"And he has the efficiency of one." Akashi breathed, narrowing heterochromic eyes at the taller Daiki.

Play after play, it got harder to keep the fifteen point gap steady. Teiko gave just as well as they got, but Namimori's new rotations and movements had thrown them for a loop, their footing unsteady as the underdogs came back with a bite.

"Nine point difference, keep it up, Namimori!" Yukio called, flipping their point card again.

Ten minutes, and fourteen total hoops later, the Namimori coach called for a time out, the sinister smile on Yamaguchi's face making the hairs on the back of Teiko's neck stand tall.

"Swap out!" He sung, sounding _way_ too happy.

The benched player slowly stood and strode onto the court, eyes vacant as he was deep in thought. As the umpire blew the whistle, Teiko was on high alert of the new player.

Aomine shook his head before engaging the ball, stealing it from a Namimori easily and running through the game, before stalling suddenly, his hands empty.

"What the-"

"Senpai, catch!"

"Got it!"

Multicolored eyes shot to the out of nowhere three pointer, the benched player panting with a grin stretched across his face.

"He knows how you run, Aomine-kun." Kuroko hummed, at the Light's side as per usual.

"After ten minutes? Like fuck."

"Ten minutes is all he needs." Yamaguchi smiled, the two standing fairly close to his side of the lines.

"That boy learns from watching. He's a cello genius who can't read music for his life, but learns by watching people's hands. This, of course, equals amazing observation skills, where even the tiniest detail is taken into account."

Pale blue eyes jumped to the cellist, a slight noise leaving the shadow.

"But how did you know that he played cello? It's not on my clipboard!" Yukio gasped, flipping through.

"Oh, his mother often comes to the bakery. Two loaves of white and one whole grain is her usual order." Yamaguchi answered, smiling cheekily from directly behind her as the girl jumped.

"All I needed you needed was his name." Kuroko breathed, making the Sun smile wider.

"Names are a powerful thing, Kuroko-san."

The players blinked before running off after the ball, another whistle blowing as the point gap became eight.

 **...**

Teiko and Namimori panted with equal exhaustion, the final score showing 41 to 43, giving the GoM the game. It had been close as all hell, and if it weren't for Aomine all but punching the ball from Kaito's hand, Namimori would have scored a three pointer and won the game.

The home team groaned as the strain of the game caught up with them, adrenaline high no longer there to block their receptors. They didn't look upset, however, huge grins all but stapled to their faces as they gave desperate lungfuls of air.

"Wow, that was pretty intense." Yukio breathed shakily, her hands clamped hard on her clipboard.

"Yeah." Yamaguchi responded, looking all to pleased with himself, arms crossed before his chest.

" _Line up!"_

Both sports teams followed the command, legs burning with effort as they stood before each other.

" _Thank you very much!"_

As Namimori worked to pack away the equipment, Teiko was directed back to the change rooms, their uniforms sweat and dirt stained after the game. With their clothes refreshed and skin less shiny, the GoM filed out into the gym again where Yamaguchi was chatting away with the pink haired manager.

"You really are totally different from Dai-chan!" Momoi laughed, bag in her hands.

"Different lives." He shrugged, polite smile plastered on his face.

"So, Yamaguchi-san, I hear you have a boy-"

" _Yamaguchi Daiki!"_

The GoM stalled their approach in confusion as the tall boy was bowled over by a blur of tan and white, the voice unfamiliar. The Sun groaned as he was straddled by a younger boy, a white, grass stained Namimori baseball uniform standing out against his darker colouring.

"Yamaguchi Daiki, you missed me hit a homerun!" The baseballer cried, glaring down at the pinned third year.

"Huh? Oh," Yamaguchi huffed, finally managing to collect himself after his head had collided with the floor. "Sorry, Takeshi-kun."

The Teiko team jolted involuntarily as the doppelganger paused himself up using his arms and planted a kiss on the sudden intruder.

"Hm...Apology accepted." The smaller boy hummed before going in for another.

"But hey, I have a good excuse." Yamaguchi started, getting out from under his other and lifting him up.

"Takeshi-kun, meet Aomine Daiki. Aomine-san, meet Yamamoto Takeshi."

"..."

"Uh...Hi?" Aomine tried, very much unnerved by the wide eyed look stuck on him.

"Daiki-kun, I wanna keep it." Yamamoto declared suddenly, looking over his shoulder to his fiancé.

"No, Takeshi-kun, you can't keep it." Yamaguchi sighed, wrapping an around the smaller's waist.

"But if I have him, I won't be all lonely when you have to leave for business!"

" _It_ is right here!" The ace roared, making the Rain look at him finally.

The Light blinked and pulled back as mocha eyes became critical, a chill going along Aomine's spine as they surveyed his entirety.

"Aw, you don't have Daiki-kun's eyes." Yamamoto suddenly pouted, the sharpness suddenly gone.

"His eyes are one of his best features! I can't have a Daiki without his eyes!"

"So you'll have me without my arms?" Yamaguchi huffed.

"I said 'one of'. You're arms are important too, especially when you get your tattoo done."

Aomine barely held back a blanch, the idea of an upstanding boy like Yamaguchi getting a tattoo not quite normal in his mind.

"So, you don't want another Daiki?"

A long, dramatic sigh left the Rain as he slumped back into his intended.

"Guess I'll just have to settle with one."

"Um…" Kise interrupted, raising his hand slightly. "Can we discuss this? In _length_?"

" _Yamaguchi Daiki!"_

"Again?" The Sun breathed, looking to the gym door.

"Ah, that must be Ryohei-san. I saw him on the way here, he sure looked angry."

"Hm," Yamaguchi hummed, glancing down at his fiancé. "Should I prepare to run?"

"Maybe. He sounded pretty close, though."

"True, I suppose I could confront him."

"Do you want to? He sounds pretty pumped."

"Ah, good point."

"Oh, look, he's here."

"Oh dear. Takeshi-kun, go stand with Teiko, please."

The GoM watched in muted confusion as Yamamoto trotted over to them, a blur of pale colours bolting through the gym doors to come to a sudden stop.

"DAIKI-KUN! YOU _EXTREMELY_ SKIPPED PRACTICE!"

"Well, first I was watching Takeshi-kun's game, then I got called away to-"

"NO _EXTREME_ EXCUSES! WE WILL _EXTREMELY_ PRACTICE NOW TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME!"

"Lord above save my soul."

Teiko stood silently as the two third years began racing around the room, movements that weren't possible for children their age being pulled off in sequence. Yamaguchi was quick to part himself from his friend, feet hitting the floor hard as he vaulted himself up to grab hold of the hoop and swing up to crouch on the orange bar.

"Hey! Come down from there!" The boxer roared, waving gloved hands at the precariously perched Sun.

"But I don't want to."

"Daiki-kun, get down!"

"No."

"Fight me like a man!"

"No. This is actually a lot bigger up close."

" _Why?"_ Midorima managed, Kise finally unable to comment.

"Why what?" Yamamoto asked, looking completely indifferent to the bizarre happenings.

"Why is Yamaguchi-san on the basketball hoop?"

"He jumped, of course." He responded, not quite sure what there was to misunderstand.

"But _why?_ "

"Because he doesn't want to fight with Ryohei-san."

Midorima fought the desire to deflate in defeat, instead giving a strained sigh as he straightened his glasses.

A sudden chill went through the room as the gym doors slammed open for the hundredth time in so many hours, a dramatic gale blowing as Hibari Kyoya strode into the room.

"Herbivores, you're making a ruckus." He grunted, tonfas in hand.

"Oh, hi, Hibari-san." Yamaguchi greeted, waving lazily.

"EXTREME greetings, Hibari-san!"

The GoM looked to Yamamoto as he fidgeted, a smile coming to his face as he watched the three interact.

"Golden Trio of Namimori!" He sang lightly at their looks, before a loud bang drew their attention back to the third years.

Yamaguchi was back on the floor, four quick steps back taken to avoid an equal amount of swipes to his face from the Skylark. A swift jump and a kick to the side provided the Sun with enough room to drop down and dodge the attack from his fellow, the punch instead connecting with a pale cheek and initiating the three way.

" _Yamamoto-kun!"_

The Teiko team looked numbly as two second years ran into the gym, the smallest giving a shout of fear when he noticed the brawl.

" _Hiiiee!_ They're fighting again!?"

"Haha! Yeah!"

"Fucking giant! Turf top! Stop making the Tenth uncomfortable!" The silver haired boy yelled, red sticks suddenly in hand.

"No! Gokudera-kun, don't use your dynamite!" The Sky shrieked, running to grab his second's wrists.

"Oh, are you going to use your fireworks?" Yamamoto asked, smile brightening in excitement.

"They're explosives, not fireworks, baseball freak!" Gokudera hissed, waving a lit wick at the Rain.

"Gokudera-kun! Put it out!"

"Daiki-kun! EXTREME RIGHT HOOK!"

"Stop screaming out the attack you're going to use."

" _Kamikorosu."_

"I'd so much rather if you didn't."

"...What the fuck is Namimori?" Aomine squeaked, the GoM giving strained sound of confused agreement as a bomb went off just shy of the building.

* * *

In the bus back to Teiko, Kuroko suddenly broke out of his thoughts, a small sound of realisation leaving him. Aomine looked up from his magazine at the noise, the only other one awake to hear it.

"What's up?" He asked, his Shadow turning to face him.

"I just realised, I never told Yamaguchi-san my name. I wonder how he knew it?"

"...Somehow, I'm not surprised at all." The doppelganger mumbled absentmindedly.


	10. Shunji-kun Smut

**DON'T FUCKING READ THIS IF YOU ARE A) INNOCENT, B) UNDER THE AGES OF 15 (AT THE VERY FUDGING LEAST), OR C) *see Plunny's first statement***

 **Hello! Hello! LeNoRi here! Okay, so, first things first, I wrote this as an experiment, to test myself on more...yeah genres, which explains this thing's existence. And while I would appreciate feedback,** _ **please don't drop a bunch of lewd reviews**_ **in Plunny's inbox?**

 **(Also goes for Lenori's, pals. We will react very awkwardly and displeased. You have been warned, yes? Yes. - Plunny)**

 **Plunny: Or if you are mature enough to realize that sex is just a part of life, not a coming-of-age ritual or some shit, and that you don't need to do it. Therefore, one becomes desensitized to a degree and can just enjoy the actual writing skills and in-character behaviour. (Which are great btw Lenori, thumbs up!)**

 **Plunny: No offense Lenori, the smut was hot, but like, I was binging on hardcore fluff fics with vague nsfw content just before, lmao.**

 **CREDIT GOES TO LENORI FOR WRITING THIS PIECE AND PLUNNY FOR CALMING HER DOWN! YOU DID AWESOME CONTENT YEAH!**

"Kaa-san is out." I breathed, leading Takeshi up the stairs, the smaller boy following in tense silence.

Closing my bedroom door behind us, I glanced at him standing stiffly near my desk, before sitting down on my bed, shedding my hoodie with a sigh, the layer being discarded on the floor sloppily.

"C'mere." I called, beckoning the younger boy over with my fingers.

Takeshi was quick to obey, grasping hold of my hand and allowing himself to be pulled along onto the bed beside me, looking at me warily for the next instruction. Giving him a smile, I stood and picked him up off the sheets, a laugh coming as he squeaked in surprise. Rearranging the smaller boy to lay him out on the bed, I shifted him until he was comfortable, gently caressing his cheek and making him flush sweetly.

"I love you, you know." I breathed, an adorable little smile coming to his face as he nodded.

"I know." He answered happily, " I love you too, Daiki-kun."

Giving an airy laugh, I pressed a kiss to his lips, allowing the younger boy to slid his tongue into my mouth and tangle his tongue with mine, hot air brushing each other's cheeks as we twisted our mouths and wet muscles.

"I love you," I hummed again, pulling back, Takeshi giving a keen of loss. "But what you did today was bad. You can't lash out at people, sweetheart, it'll get you in trouble."

"I'm sorry... But he kept on talking about you like you weren't anything! Going on and on about how you were fatherless and a suck up to Hibari-san!" He tried, a bitter shine coming to his eyes as he relayed the words of the brute.

"But he doesn't matter, does he? We're unlikely to meet him again, and if we do, what'll it matter? His words don't change who or what I am."

"Still! The bastard kept humiliating you in public! Even though he knows he has no right to talk to you like that! I won't let him talk to you like that, you're mine!"

Sighing, I moved to hover above the laid out boy on all fours, the mattress dipping around him as my weight pressed down.

"Yes, I am yours, my little love. Nonetheless, you must try to keep your decorum, lashing out like you did does us no good." I chastised, before kissing his forehead.

"And as a result, I'm going to have to punish you."

Mocha eyes widened at the words, his breath hitching as his body tensed. The reaction made me smile softly, a hand coming to gently cup his cheek.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt. I'm not going to hurt you, or run away again. I'm gonna stay right here." I reassured him, pressing a kiss to his collar as he slowly ceased his quaking.

"O-okay...I am sorry, though." He breathed, tilting his head back to allow another kiss to come against his throat.

"I know. I know you are. But lessons must be learnt, my dearest."

Giving him a final nuzzle, I sat back on his hips and smiled reassuringly down at him, Takeshi tucking his chin into his chest as he watched obediently. Reaching down, I slowly undid my belt, as to not scare him, and made a noise of comfort as his eyes widened again. Sliding it loose, I gathered up the smaller arms and pressed them to the head of the bed under us, threading the faux-leather through the poles and then through the buckle, Takeshi's wrists coming to be pinned against the cooled wood.

With my little lover finally restrained, I sat back and looked down at him, a faint hue painting his face as he began to realise the position he was in.

"Tell me, if at any time, the restraints become too tight, okay? Belts weren't made to bind wrists, but we'll have to make do." I urged, gingerly brushing a piece of his fringe out of his eyes that were fixed on me.

Takeshi nodded mutely, a thick swallow reaching my ears as his pulse sped up under my fingers.

"Daiki-kun...What exactly are you planning?" He slowly asked, hesitant excitement clear in his voice.

"Hm..." I hummed, shuffling back down his legs and plucking absently at the metal of his jean button. "I guess, I plan on sucking you till you're just about ready, then leave you hanging on the edge, wait for you to calm down, then rinse and repeat."

Despite the calm and blase nature of my voice, saying this aloud was no easy task. I had trouble saying some words and phrases, some sort of moral limiter keeping even my dirty mouth in check. Hell, I had trouble saying 'nipple' outside of scientific or maternal context until I was well into my previous adulthood.

The effort seemed to pay off, however, as an involuntary buck of the hips made me lose my grip on the button between my fingers, a sound of embarrassment and need leaving the Rain under me. Looking back to his face, I bit down on the grin that threatened to split my solemn expression, the hue becoming a rich stain. We made eye contact over the rise of his cheeks, and I could tell he was starting to regret allowing me to bond his arms, fingers twitching to grab ahold of me and do as his body willed.

Giving a faint noise of boredom, I popped the button, a leg twitching beneath me, before proceeding to toy with the zipper, letting the ' _clink' 'clink'_ sound through the quiet room. It was obvious Takeshi was losing his patience, the occasional tense of his legs and the jump of the abdominal muscles that peeked from under his shirt showing how high my words alone had strung the teenaged boy.

"Daiki-kun." He whined, pressing his hips down against the mattress in hopes of dragging the teeth of the zipper open through his own power.

Biting down on the smile that threatened to show, I took the opportunity I had been waiting for and reversed my hand, the heel of my palm pressing solidly against him through the material and making Takeshi give a cry of surprise. This time, the smile did manage to break through, a slight tilt of my lips becoming prevalent as I ground my hand against his restrained cock, fully enjoying the sounds that poured out of him.

"Hm...It's a good thing that kaa-san decided to go visit Nana-san, huh? This way you can make all those pretty sounds without hold." I commented, leaning over his arched form to kiss the peak of his ribs.

"Gah!" Takeshi yelped, nerves strung high and making everything feel too clear.

"Daiki-ku-ngh! Stop..."

"Okay." I answered, pulling back immediately, hands coming to rest on my own thighs as I sat patiently.

Mocha eyes flew open as a cry of annoyance left the Rain, hips bucking uselessly into air as the belt sounded from a sharp tug.

"Daiki-kun! Why-!"

"You asked me to stop, didn't you? I will stop if you ask me too." I stated flatly, keeping a lid on my sadistic amusement as he groaned loudly, head falling back.

"I meant stop teasing!" Takeshi gritted, lifting his head to look at me, eyes narrowed with blown pupils.

"You said you'd suck, so start sucking!"

I huffed slightly and shook my head at his order, a slight laugh leaving me at how easily my little lover managed to just say that.

"It wouldn't be much of a punishment if I went ahead and just pleasured you, now would it? This is about teaching you a lesson, my love. Now hush and learn." I hummed, grabbing hold of his thighs.

A startled breath left me as I ran the heels of my palms along the flesh under them, a flash of appreciation coming as I felt tight cords of muscle shift beneath my force. After a few minutes of just appreciating my lover's legs, I decided that he'd had enough time to cool down and proceeded to rub the length of my large hand along his trapped manhood.

"D-ai- _Shit!"_

Enjoying the way he coiled up at the touch, I gave friction for a few more moments, groans leaving the Rain all the while. When I removed my hand again, I didn't heed his whine of complaint, instead, shifting myself until I was level with the straining tent in his jeans, a sudden inhale telling me he knew exactly where I was. Looking up at him, I smiled as we locked eyes, my teeth on display as they caught his zipper, neither of us looking away as the sounds of the metal unbonding reached our ears.

Sitting back, I began pulling off the boy's denim, the material putting up a bit of a fight around his ankles, but relenting to the assault from both of us. With the most restricting layer gone, a bit of give was allowed to Takeshi's issue, a hiss coming from between his teeth as the air cooled the patch of damp that had gathered from my attentions. Tossing his pants aside, I moved back into my hands and crawled up his body, purposefully avoiding touching him until we were level with each other, a keening noise leaving my little lover as he flushed under my stare.

"Takeshi-kun." I cooed, trying to draw his attention back.

"Takeshi-kun, my love, look at me."

Slowly, the Rain turned his head to me again, his eyes widening at the soft expression on my face.

I looked down at him and just observed, taking in the red hues and blackening eyes. Heavy breaths and moistened lips. He was just so…

"Beautiful. You're so beautiful, shujin-kun."

A slight whimper fell from his lips as I spoke to him, the hue intensifying before he reared his head up, straining his neck to kiss me meekly. Humming against the chaste affection, I reciprocated sweetly before pressing another to his temple then his throat.

"You made me worried today, sweetheart. People were talking. I don't mind having myself thrashed, but it makes me worried if you get labelled badly."

"I'm sorry...I can take care of myself, though."

"I know, you've proven that enough times." I laughed lowly, hand coming to curl in his hair lightly.

"But still, fear is fear. And you're one of the only people who can make me feel genuine fear."

The young boy's eyes softened painfully at the words, his head falling to rest against my temple as I continued to mouth against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, shujin-kun." He breathed.

"Mmm, I know." I sighed, kissing his cheek before pushing myself up again.

"But now, back to your punishment."

Before he could make a plea, I dropped my hips, a long moan rumbling through his throat as he pulled on his restraints, his own hips arching up to meet mind desperately.

"Daiki-kun." He groaned, prompting me to roll my hips leisurely, a sigh of my own coming at the sensation.

Giving a few more lazy thrusts, I hummed when I felt him harden further, the pulsation clear against my own groin as his voice began to peak. A sadistic flash went through my mind as I thrust forwards harshly, before swiftly removing myself from him, a sound of agitated dismay bubbling through.

"God _damn_ it!"

And now for the main event, I thought, slinking down his body before his aggravated mind could realise my intentions. Quickly tugging down his boxers, I took a moment to appreciate my work, his length standing to attention and leaking quite profusely as it twitched against the cool air introduced. Humming, I wet my lips before parting and lowering myself down, feeling every inch of salty skin slip over my tongue before it hit the back of my throat.

" _Yesss..."_ Takeshi hissed lowly, eyes closing in absolute bliss as I let him settle.

Making sure to keep my teeth away from the sensitive flesh, I began to pull off, my lips catching and dragging wetly over the anatomy. When only the head remained in my mouth, I gave a strong suck, ignoring the salty taste that came with it as I prodded the slit with my tongue.

Takeshi's hips jumped suddenly, making me take a sudden breath and gag as the wall of my throat was rammed, a small coughing fit coming as I pulled off.

"Oh no, Daiki-kun, I'm sorry! I didn't mean- Are you okay?"

I frowned up at my frantic boy, my eyes narrowing before I latched my teeth onto the sharp jut of his hip bone, a yip of pain escaping his as the belt jangled from a reflexive jolt. I held onto the angle for a moment before releasing it, a whine leaving Takeshi as I smoothed out the damage with my tongue.

"Try to control yourself, okay love?"

"You don't make it easy." He panted.

Giving a low chuckle at the words, I moved myself until my hands were free, my knees coming more forwards to balance myself out, allowing me to grab and anchor those all too excited hips. Humming against his skin, I smiled darkly up at my lover from his groin, lips parting theatrically as I let my tongue meet the underside of his erection.

Pressing my tongue against the heated organ, I released low hums against his skin, rubbing circles on his hip as he groaned above, bonds clanking as he arched. Licking the length, I took a breath before consuming it, slowly exhaling through my nose until it bumped against Takeshi's stomach. Releasing a low note around the dick in my throat, I started swallowing, allowing the hot walls of my mouth and throat hug and squeeze Takeshi.

Retreating, I caught the swollen heat between my lips and suckled on it, smiling slightly as a high keen reached my ears, my own call channeling into the cock and beginning a delicious cycle, one we were more than happy to ride. A long sigh through my nose allowed me to fall back down, sucking all the way until he was fitted snugly inside of me again, the twitching organ no doubt enjoying the heat of my body.

"Da-iki!" The Rain groaned loudly, tensing his whole body as a salted flavour reached my tongue.

Giving a huff, I pulled off swiftly, shifting to kneel at his knees, the shout that left him doing nothing to stop the malicious smirk that broke onto my face.

Oh, Takeshi was a sight to see. Red flush creeping from beneath his shirt's collar and bathing his cheeks under the sheen of sweat that had formed, skin shining against the lamps in my room. His body was quivering all over, legs twitching and arms jumping between tense and useless. His chest heaved as he panted and groaned, wet and swollen lips parted prettily as he tried to catch his breath. His shirt had risen from the bucking and arch of his back, allowing me to see sweat slicked abs that were usually hidden away, my self control waning at the desire to touch and see if they were as firm as they looked.

The Vongola Rain, Shigure Soen Ryu master. I had done this to my Yamamoto Takeshi, and only had time to do more.

The thought made me lick my lips in excitement, not missing how hazy eyes followed the movement.

"Ready to go again?" I laughed, voice full of bass, a toothy grin coming as the younger boy gave a broken breath.

…

My hands held onto Takeshi's thighs as support while he crossed his ankles and dug them into my back, my shoulders taking the brunt of his weight as his knees squeezed them. I suckled greedily at his straining cock as he arched in free air, breathless whines leaving him as he balanced on his upper back.

Tasting the warning signs again, I let him slip from my mouth and dropped him unceremoniously back onto the bed, his body bouncing slightly as it fell slack. His whole body was spasming weakly, his cries tapering off to pathetic little whimpers as he salivated messily, too undone to have proper control over his body.

"How many denials is that now?" I asked, wiping my mouth of pre with the back of my wrist.

"Seven, I think." Answering my own question, knowing full well the boy hadn't been able to cognate for a while.

Giving his twitching thighs a gentle pat, I got up off the bed and stretched my legs, humming my raw throat as I flipped open my phone, snorting at the time.

"Oh, look at that, sweetheart." I huffed, coming to the bedside and showing the screen to glazed eyes.

"We've been going for nearly an hour and a half!"

A slight groan left Takeshi as he shut his eyes, cheeks still ablaze as even the sheets sent off sparks of electricity through his too sensitive nerves. Smiling at his state, I reached out and carefully trailed my fingertips along the rise of his cheek, a little keen coming as he leant into the touch, desperate for whatever attention I'd give him.

"I'm gonna get us a drink, okay? I'm sure your throat is as raw as mine, if not worse." I cooed, rubbing away a collection of tears with my thumb.

Takeshi suddenly jolted, a flash of alert coming to his eyes at the idea of being isolated again, causing me to act quickly, my knees hitting the wooden floorboards as I threw an arm over his chest, my nose pressing against his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, don't worry. I'll come right back, you know I will." I comforted, kissing his chin, not really caring about the slight sheen of saliva that stained my lips afterwards.

"I'll be less than two minutes. Then I'll be here with you, and you'll be my absolute focus."

A slight coo left him, telling me he liked the idea, and allowed me to stand, my knees hurting slightly. Pressing a pair of kisses to the bound wrists, I quickly moved down the stairs, skipping the last three and swung myself into the kitchen, glasses in my hand by the time I had reached the sink. Filling them up, I didn't bother to relieve myself yet and instead decided that Takeshi was priority, my feet giving more sound than usual to warn the younger boy of my approach.

Closing the door firmly behind me again, I placed the cups down on my side table, my hands brushing the Rain's sides in greeting.

"See? Less than two minutes." I cooed, kissing the closer forearm.

"I'm going to sit you up, okay?"

The position of his arms made the shift a bit awkward, but I managed to move him upright, his elbows pointing to the ceiling as he leant heavily against me. Wrapping an arm around his waist to act as support, I grasped the cup and brought it to his lips, encouraging him to drink. I sighed as it spilled slightly at his rejection, a clear trail of water starting from the corner of his lips. Leaning in, I let my tongue chase the drop, a croon sounding from the body against me.

Oh? I thought, glancing to how he responded to my touch, before an idea struck me.

Bringing the glass to my lips, I took a good sized gulp before placing down the cup again, needing to free up my hand. Grasping Takeshi's face, I turned it to me before sealing my lips over his, a broken moan coming as he sluggishly reciprocated, opening his mouth languidly as I prodded his seam. The invasion of water took him by surprise, but the hand on the back of his head stopped him from retreating, fluids flowing down his throat as I released it at a reserved pace, not wanting to drown him.

We repeated the process until his cup was empty, his sense of reality somewhat surfacing by that time. He watched me as I took my own gulps, abused throat appreciating the soothing liquid. I hummed with a renewed clarity as he began to pay attentions to my neck, twisting himself slightly to press against the arm wrapped around him.

Despite how much I enjoyed Takeshi's ministrations, my goal still dwelled in a gentle punishment, and I hadn't completed that task quite yet.

So, replacing my cup and moving them to a safe distance, I turned my head and began kissing the smaller boy, him all too happy to allow it. Our tongues tangled intoxicatingly, the cool of water mixing with renewed heat as I moved to lay the Rain back down and crawl on top of him, his legs parting to accommodate me, his back arching to press his chest to my bound one.

Pressing the kiss deeper, I grasped his hips and pulled them off the mattress, his forgotten erection grinding against my crotch. Swallowing the sounds my little lover made, I continued to kiss him through it, rolling my own hips into the lazy grind as Takeshi tried to join the pace, attempting to speed it up. My grip on his hips was too strong, however, and he was subjected to slowness of it all, a loud moan of impatient pleasure coming loose as he threw his head back.

 _Bzzt! Bzzt!_

I froze and looked to the phone going off, sighing when I saw Hibari's ID flash on screen. Plucking up the device, I looked to Takeshi slyly and placed a finger over my lips as a universal sign of silence.

"Hey birdy." I greeted, the Rain's eyes widening as I kept giving rolled thrusts against him.

" _Handler, where are you?"_ The irritable Cloud snipped, a halved eyebrow raising at the tone.

"My house, why?"

" _I expected as much. You mother passed me just now, and she asked me to relay a message."_

"Oh? Kaa-san? What'd she say?" I asked, a grin coming as I decided to be mean to my lover and give an especially hard grind, a choked moan breaking free before his face became one of mortification.

" _If you'd shut up, you'd find out."_ Hibari huffed, seeming to not have heard the sounds my Takeshi was giving off.

" _She said that she and Sawada Nana were going to the night markets, so she'd be home much later than she expected."_

"Ah, she did leave her phone at home." I hummed, slightly distracted by the beginnings of writhing that showed in my fiancé.

"Well, thank you then, Hibari-san."

" _Hmph."_

I huffed slightly as the line went dead, amusement showing on my face as Takeshi narrowed his eyes at me, my phone returning to its dock.

"Now where were we?" I breathed, placing my hand back on his elevated hips.

"We never stopped." He gritted, before giving a short groan as I rubbed denim against his leaking cock.

"I suppose all there is to do is continue then, hm? Oh, and Takeshi-kun," He looked at me through a crack in his eyelids. "Kaa-san won't be home until morning."

His eyes widened at the words and I leant over him fully, my figure obscuring him and eclipsing the light.

"That means, you're mine for the night."

A whimper broke from him as I released the bass, a renewed heat reaching his cheeks as I grinned predatorily down at him.

Sitting up, I grabbed his calves and threw them over my shoulders again, his shout shutting off half way through as he recognised the position, the belt jolting as he cried out, sinking his heels into my back as he attempted to mouth fuck. My fingers found their past positions easily, faint patches of purple showing on tanned hips and causing another fruitless rut.

" _Daiki-kun!"_

I hummed at his call and continued to suckle away, tongue prodding every place it could find as I released heavy vibrations. Swallowing around him, I let my gaze trail up the geography of his body, happily taking in the slicked tan that rippled with responsive muscles.

I wonder how much more I should put him through? I don't think he can last another half an hour…But then again...we have _more_ than half an hour.

Smiling at the thought, I pulled off and planted kisses along his thigh, it quivering as he threatened to choke me with them.

"Daiki-kun, I swear to God if you don't-!"

"Don't what, _shujin-kun?"_ I chuckled, removing my teeth from the dents they had created in the soft flesh.

Giving a huff of laughter at his sudden cowed silence, I gently licked at the marks I had given him, the quadriceps jumping under the wet touch. Takeshi started making noises of impatience as I ignored his prominent problem, all too happy to focus on the reddening skin of his thigh, intent on making it that he couldn't wear anything above knee height for the next week at least.

The jangle of my belt reached my ears as I pinched the flesh in my mouth, suckling on it gently as I tasted salty sweat, the heels in my back digging deeper in irritation. Sighing, I released the abused skin and kissed up the rest of his thigh, dodging around the throbbing mess and planting a small barrage of kisses on the swell of his abs. One of the kisses caused my chin to brush his head, making a squeaked groan to break through, his stomach tensing under my fingers and lips, making my eyes widen in interest.

Keeping one hand on his hips, I brought the other one up and grabbed ahold of the heated organ, a loud moan sounding and causing another rippled tension. Keeping my grip brutally tight, I dragged it along the length, a wash of pre squeezing from the tip as I did. A low note filled the room as Takeshi tightened his leg's hold on me, very much appreciating the attention I was giving him. I hummed in response to the bass, pressing kisses to his naval, occasionally pinching layers of skin between my teeth teasingly, just to get him to jolt as mixed signals sent his synapses into overdrive.

"Daiki-kun," He whined, twisting under me slightly, taut muscles rippling against me. "Hurry up!"

I narrowed my eyes at the command, suddenly finding how coherent he was as unsatisfactory, remembering how he had appeared before I had allowed him to collect himself.

"You want me to hurry up?" I cooed, the smirk that bloomed forth making the hopeful gleam in his eyes freeze up.

"Just for that, love. We're going _nice and slow_...For as long as I want."

…

I slurped lazily as I leant on my forearms, hand resting on Takeshi's stomach as we used the laid position to give our backs a break. My feet dangled off the end of the bed, but I didn't mind, preferring that to the growing pressure in my spine.

The legs hooked over my shoulders quaked gently, the rest of the Rain's body following suit as his breaths came out laboured and uneven. Takeshi's mind was long gone now, his ability to think cognitively having thoroughly disappeared after the fourth denial, unintelligible notes the only way he communicated his displeasure with me.

My ears pricked as his breath hitched, a surplus of pre coming and prompting me to remove myself, cheek coming to rest on the younger boy's hip as I smiled at his cry, the sound lovely, even after so many times, an addictive quality to it. I gently kneaded the boy's muscled thigh as he tried to buck into air, finding great satisfaction at the state he was in.

"You okay up there, sweetheart?" I hummed, smiling into his hip as a low groan came as my answer.

The sun had long vanished from the sky, and left the streets in a darkness that was a far cry from the orange hue that took the town when we had started. My jaw had never had this kind of ache before, but it came with a kind of high that I found myself enjoying even as I shifted it to stretch out the muscles.

I traced a light, nonsensical pattern on the plains of Takeshi's stomach as I waited for him to cool down for the nth time this night, glancing up at him regularly to check the progress, a smirk taking my face as I deemed him far enough. Turning to my phone, I sighed as I saw the double digit time, deciding that the boy had had enough today.

I'd made him incoherent twice in so many hours, there's only so much the poor boy can handle in one go.

Smiling slightly, I placed my phone back and focused on my little lover, reaching up to gently cup his face. Takeshi groaned and rolled his head to look at me, mocha eyes glazed over and blown wide as he heaved.

"Do you understand now, Takeshi-kun? Do you know what you did, and why it was wrong?" I asked, the dazed boy nodding languidly.

"And you won't do it again?"

He shook his head, no.

"You're sorry?"

Another nod.

"Good boy. Beautiful boy." I hummed crawling up to press a kiss against his lips.

"Do you think you've had enough?"

This time, the nod was just about frantic, a keening noise leaving him as he jostled the belt holding him.

"Okay, love. I'm gonna let you finish now." Came my voice, a groan leaving Takeshi at the information.

Giving another kiss on him, I moved back down and settled myself, taking deep breaths before descending quickly, long exhales through my nose letting the boy to slip as far as our anatomies allowed. Swallowing around his too sensitive length, I released note after note of vibrations, shifting octave and duration as I suckled. When the salted flavour started to become prevalent, I didn't pull away, instead pressing in to collect more, the Rain a mess above as his heels wreaked havoc on my lower back, spasming thighs threatening to choke as they tried to keep me down.

Prodding the flushed head with the tip of my tongue, I gave an acute suction on the slit, a shaky moan warning me of the impending climax. Parting my lips, I dropped and closed them around the heated organ, the heavy length twitching as I mapped out the ridges with the flat of my tongue.

"D- _ai-_ "

I inhaled sharply as Takeshi bucked suddenly, his body going taut, a shout mixed with a guttural moan sounding as my mouth filled with salty liquid. Not waiting until he could break capacity, I swallowed down what was there and prepared for the already waiting pool, the action milking the younger boy as his upper body writhed wildly, heels threatening to crack my back.

When there was no more to spend, Takeshi dropped from his arch, a whimper coming as I continued to suckle gently, my hand rubbing along his thigh as he shivered from climax. Pulling off finally, I pushed myself to my hands and knees, crawling up to kiss him languidly, the Rain giving heavy breaths as salt invaded his tongue, the wet muscles sliding across each other. Separating from him, I smiled and pecked his cheek, before reaching up and undoing the faux-leather that bound his wrists, faint red markings showing as the bonds fell away.

"You were so good, Takeshi-kun." I cooed, dropping the belt on the floor and soothing his wrists, pressing light kisses along the bands of red, thankful that it was just from pressure and they weren't rubbed raw.

"You are wonderful, Takeshi-kun. So handsome, so alluring." I hummed gathering him up in my arms and laying his slack body on top of me.

The younger boy groaned at the praise, his eyes fluttering as he pressed his cheek against my shoulder, his nose buried in my collar. Pressing kisses to his crown I hummed into his hair before reaching for the blankets that had been kicked off the side at some point through the night, draping the warm shroud over Takeshi's half naked body, hiding him from any prying eyes.

"I love you, Takeshi-kun. My shujin-kun." I breathed, carding my hand through his short, mused hair.

Takeshi made a small noise at that his hand slowly twitching until he managed to grab a handful of my shirt, the material bunching in his fist as he pressed against me further. The action made me smile, before I kissed his forehead, still gleaming with sweat. Shifting slightly, I reached to flip off the lights, the Rain making a sound of complaint as his pillow moved against his desire.

"Good night, love." I sighed, relaxing into the mattress, my lower back still throbbing in places.

Takeshi made an unintelligible noise that almost mimicked one of 'g'night', but it came out more as a warbled mumble than anything, moving to hug me closer as he released a long breath, absolutely drained from the night's activities.

I smiled as I gently stroked his hair, a silvery light shining through the window as the moon hung high in the sky, a slight discomfort coming as the rush of everything calmed. Through it all, I had paid my own state of arousal no mind, gathering to focus on Takeshi in his entirety than deal with the pooling heat and slick that had come to my own groin. It caused a gross wet squelch whenever I moved, and was now rapidly cooling, but if I attempted to remedy the situation now, Takeshi would be less than pleased.

Sighing, I inhaled the Rain's scent before deciding to postpone the matter. It was nothing a morning shower and a spin in the laundry couldn't fix, anyway. Pressing a kiss to Takeshi's temple, I settled and wrapped my arms around his smaller frame, body heat still running rampant and heating us both effectively.

"Well, that was quite enthralling."


	11. Commissioned Cake for Two

**|REQUESTED CHAPTER|:**

 **Commissioned Cake for Two**

"Hi, I'm not sure if you do request or not but could you do one with the students from namimori p.o.v of Daiki? How they see him (her). Like that one guy who kept on walking in on hibari and daiki moments? Or random classmate(s). And that basketball captain who had a hard on for daiki?

Thanks " **  
-** **baba69**

 **Plunny: (^w0)b Gotcha!  
Me and Lenori both have taken on this prompt, so it is like getting a 2 for 1 deal in the supermarket- Methinks.**

 **Plunny: And I also think we take requests? I mean, we didn't really have a policy until this came.**

 **LeNoRi: I mean, if it tickles our fancy than yeah, I guess we do?**

 **Plunny: Noted. Also if our muses approve or not. Or brain juice supply is enough, or- you get the gist.**

 _ **Enjoy!**_

 **Total Wordcount:** 2068

* * *

 _ **The Journey of a Counsellor  
**_ **by PlunnyBreeder**

I am not sure how to handle this.

My school life has consisted of various degrees of ridiculous normality and the acceptance of it, but this takes the cherry on top with an infuriating, mocking grin.

I refuse to be a sob-aunt. Or rather, I refuse to be a sob-uncle. Therapist. Whatever the hell you call it- someone people throw their woes at like a neon-green target, trying to score higher than the others. The rating defined by how long my patience can endure until I snap.

"Like, Daiki-san didn't blink an eye at Hibari-san's lap-drape-thing and I think I might be bisexual- or, I actually don't know since I just got an eyeful of their abs but, shit. I mean..."

Fuck this. This is the fifth discussion of abs and/or boobs and of course whatever sexual orientation problems they have now due to a sudden surge of attraction, within _four hours_.

"Wait! Shurata-kun, where are you going?"

I don't even spare the basketball captain a glance. "Somewhere to scream my fucking shit out."

"Can I come with you?"

"No."

You are part of the damn reason!

.

It started off weird, but still simple enough.

"Shurata-kun! I think Yamaguchi-kun doesn't even know me after all these years, don't you think it is rude? Granted, I didn't reach out to him or anything, but shouldn't he still pay attention to his-"

He probably doesn't. He doesn't even remember me, which isn't that surprising. I am not very memorable, but still somehow people flock to me to complain their hearts out.

And why do you think he'll remember someone who didn't even reach out to him? _Exactly_.

But her shoulders are a bit too slumped and her eyes too unfocused, thinking of something else- her heart is obviously not in it. Denial, most likely. Pushing the blame on a convenient target without consciously realizing it. Since Daiki is popular, maybe insecurities regarding that?

"Higareda-san," I start, cutting her rant off. "Maybe start by regularly greeting him or something?"

"As if!" She huffs, crossing her arms. "That arrogant giant doesn't greet me, why the hell should I-"

Yep. Some denial is going on here, if she really cared for Daiki, she would most likely agreed and/or suggested something herself then as an afterthought, then left with a hurried thanks. My fingers curl around my juice box in agitation and impatience, but I quickly take a sip before the juice can spurt out.

"Y'know," I cut her off again. She doesn't even bristle at this either, maybe too used to it? Oops, far be it from me to encourage an insecurity on purpose. "Muoki-san also likes to watch nature documentaries, maybe you can talk to him. About Yellowstone Park or something."

She stares at me, stunned, but nods absentmindedly before mumbling an excuse to do whatever she'll do. Planning how to approach Muoki-san, most likely.

Ah... Peace and quiet at last.

I continue to sip my orange juice while continuing to doodle the geysir she threw a wistful glance at mid-conversation. A rather one-sided one. Maybe mid-monologue would fit better.

Oh, I fucked up the geysir.

I'll just do my homework then.

.

Word spread around, along with random approaches, and so I became Namimori Middle's unofficial therapist and go-to person for one's troubles.

Although, one time I had a close call.

.

"Good day, Tomoe-"

"Aw, don't be like that!" She beams with too much bashful happiness to be healthy in the morning. "It's Tama-chan to you! You're going to help with Daiki-kun smiling at me, yes?"

I stare at her, the words not computing in my brain. Especially not at six in the morning.

"S-Sorry," I shake my head. "I am the agony-aunt, I mean uncle, not matchmaker. The one time I succeeded was a fluke."

"Aw..." Her face fell and she pouted, trying to summoning sparkles to seem adorable. It doesn't work if one is actually, you know, not feeling cute. Like feeling too furious or devastated. I'm in deep shit, aren't I?

"But don't you think I deserve to have him smile at me?" She leans way too close to my face, her eyes too wide to be normal with a consequential glint of madness.

"Y-Yeah."

"Thank you Haruka-kun!" She beams again, with sparkles this time, and climbs down the ladder at my bedroom window.

...I don't remember giving you permission to use my first name. And I definitely wouldn't have.

With something resembling distant horror, I watch her taking her ladder and going on her way, humming a tune.

I'm reporting her.

Tomorrow, after I am sure she didn't install cameras or something.

(And after I call in sick, after this experience, I don't think Kaa-chan will protest.)

.

"Tomoe Tamaki?" The officer inquires. "Yeah, we just got her yesterday afternoon. Her parents are absolutely devastated. You want to give a statement?"

"...No, that's alright."

Although, Kaa-chan will kill me for that. She was traumatized as well, but doesn't want to admit anything. But she should understand, right? I mean, imagine your kid unknowingly becoming crazy.

"Whatever you say, kid." The officer shrugs, before giving me another juice pack. "Remember to stay hydrated, especially if you look like you didn't sleep well."

"I-" A jaw-splitting yawn escapes me and I quickly cover my mouth. "I didn't, sleep well, that is."

"I can see that, kid."

.

And of course there are the regulars.

The Disciplinary Committee has it especially hard.

.

"Haruka-kun..."

"Goto-kun," I nod back in greeting. "What is it today?"

His pompadour hangs down in shame, and while this is a common occurrence, this time he also puts his face in his hands, which is quite an uncommon occurrence. This time it must be really bad.

"Y'know how I first met Hibari-taicho with his fingers in Yamaguchi-san's mouth?"

I nod, apprehensive and slightly fearful of what is coming.

"And the time I walked in on Taicho feeling up Yamaguchi-san's tights?"

I nodded again with increasing nervousness.

"Everyone knows that I am hated by luck!" He suddenly bursts out, fire in his eyes. "But then Kiku-senpai just _asks me to swap stories_! How insensitive is that? I just relived all the encounters and my traumas again! That- that-"

"Very," I reassure him, silently glad that it wasn't another story, and hesitantly reach out to pat him on the back. "Shhh, don't say words you'll regret."

He slumps into himself, softly sobbing. "I-I don't know if I can handle this."

"That's okay, it wasn't in the recruiting pamphlet, was it? If you resign, I'm sure they'll understand."

He stares blankly, deep in thought. "...no. I'm not going to. It's- It would be like them winning, y'know? Or rather me losing, since they don't really care about PDA and stuff like that. And I would like to think that me protecting Namimori is worth it."

I beam at him, proud that he didn't fall into a depression this time.

.

In any case, while all the other hospitals won't believe my future resumé, Namimori Hospital will. Looks like trauma counselling is my call.

* * *

 _ **Poor Pompadour!**_  
 **by LeftNotRight**

"Hey, Akamine-san, what's wrong with you?"

Akamine jumped to attention at the call, his head coming out of his hands as wide eyes snapped over his shoulder. The pompadour that adorned his head bobbed from the movement before settling as he did, a long sigh leaving the DC member as his friend came into focus.

"N-nothing. Just been a little rough lately." He laughed pathetically, slumping slightly as the other boy pulled up a chair across his desk.

"Mm? You sure? Ever since that first summons to Hibari-sama's office, you've been pretty out of it. Not to mention jumpy." The older member hummed, resting his chiselled jaw on his fist.

"Yeah, well-"

 _"Hibari-sama! I have the rest of the-Oh my God! I am so sorry!"_

 _The regal Head didn't bother to acknowledge the choked apology, Akamine thankful for the small blessing as he felt his face rocket in temperature._

 _The small DC member could only watch in hypnotised horror as Hibari Kyoya's handler, Yamaguchi Daiki, slid a gleaming digit from his lips, a silvery string keeping the connection between the older boys still._

 _"Ah, the reports. Put them just here." He breathed, waving to the smaller table beside him dismissively._

 _Akamine fought to not retract in on himself, feeling very small in the room with the two lounging third year power houses, though neither of them were showing any sign of hostility. All the Disciplinary Committee knew not to step to Yamaguchi Daiki, and he was pretty sure this unspoken rule spread further than the committee as well- and it wasn't exclusively because of his connection to the Skylark of Namimori either._

 _People just_ _didn't_ _go against the boy, some even went out of their way to not oppose him. Sure, there were disagreements, and clashing ideas, but there were never any confrontations beyond those who had no self-preservation._

 _"U-uh! Yes, right away!" Akamine jumped, moving quickly to follow the instruction, feeling dispassionate eyes on the side of his face._

 _"Chattering Herbivore, the blood's coming back."_

 _"Oh, sorry."_

 _The DC member's jaw slacked slightly as he watched the pale digit disappear again, neither of the seniors seemingly affected by the heavily innuendoes action that left the younger male sputtering silently._

 _"Why are you still here?"_

 _Akamine froze as the attention of both males was stuck on him, half-lidded amber and cold slate carving crevices in his skin as he became paralysed under the predator's' gaze._

 _"A-as...Um..!"_

 _His heartbeat went double time as the Hibari's expression darkened dangerously, his feet moving backwards clumsily as he tried to show that he was nothing to be interested in._

 _"Kamikorosu."_

 _The boy needed no further prompt to turn tail and sprint, the amused voice of the monstrous handler coming after his wake, making the tips of his ears burn red in embarrassment._

"-It's really nothing, dude." The DC boy sighed, rubbing his face as he tried to smother the heat in his cheeks.

"Oh yeah, you're sent up to Hibari-sama's office often ain't you? You must've seen Yamaguchi-san with him a few times!" His friend suddenly perked, sitting straighter with enthusiasm. "What's he like!? I've never got to see him personally before, only from a distance."

Akamine suddenly shrunk, his gaze falling to the side as he tried to form a logical sentence

"...Uh, yeah...Well, he's..."

 _"Hibari-sama! I have the stuff you asked fo-Ah!"_

 _Oh God, he's back!_

 _"Y-you again?"_

 _Akamine's eyes widened as he took in the scene, choking on air mutley as he spotted the hands of the Disciplinary Head on the clothed tights of the third year._

 _Just how close are-!?_

 _"Yep, me again." He nodded, before turning back to the Skylark, brushing off the small DC boy._

 _"You gonna help the little lamb or what?"_

 _Little lamb?! Is that what he calls us?_

 _"Hm."_

 _Please, Hibari, if you have any mercy, please, let me leave this place._

 _"Leave them there. You are dismissed."_

 _"Yes sir!"_

 _I knew the Head wasn't that bad of a guy!_

 _Akamine quickly disposed of the item in his hands and bolted, not missing the humoured glance the boy seated on the desk sent him, lips tilting upwards slightly in amusement that made the small DC warm in the belly and cold in the blood._

 _Run away, Akamine! Run away!_

"He's... _nice_." He tried, stressing the word unsurely.

"Aw man," The other boy whined, leaning back in his chair. "I wish I got to meet him at least once! There are such good stories about Yamaguchi-san! Hey, do you think next time you can swap with me?"

Akamine lunged forwards and grabbed his friend by the shoulders, wide eyes fixed on the Japanese student.

" _Please."_

"Uh...Akamine-san are you...Sorry, but I think you're due for another talk with Shurata-san."

The DC boy paused for a moment, before slowly nodding, withdrawing from the other and standing shakily, his head still bobbing.

"Yeah...Good idea, I'll go talk to Haruka-kun again...Yeah."

The still seated member watched mutely as his underclassman stumbled out of the room vacantly, an almost dazed expression on his face as he muttered quietly under his breath, snatches of sentences reaching his ears.

" _Sucking fingers."_

" _Groping legs."_

" _Scary smiles..."_

...Maybe he didn't want to swap with Akamine after all.


	12. Movie Date!

**|Movie Date!|**

 **Self-Indulgent Fluff, Not Gonna Lie**

 **P: It is the only kind of fluff that compels us to write.  
We sit our behinds down and ready our hands,  
As we type away the images of fantasy lands.  
There may be adventure, there might be betrayal,**

 **But when the Angst is enough- we answer the prayer.**

 **We wrench our evil writer's hearts of sappy lines,  
Character changes, Smiles so fine,  
That is makes your pitch go really high-**

 **Until we find some other way to make you cry.**

 **P: …**

 **P: I am inordinately proud of my poem.**

 **P: Lenori approved, and written- y'all know the drill.**

 **L: I am self-indulgent trash. :)**

 **P: This is the secret to becoming a good writer.**

 **P: Be a self-indulgent trash with a keyboard.**

* * *

 **Word Count: 2,482**

* * *

 _Bzzt! Bzzt!_

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Daiki! Where you at?!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Watanabe Compound, why?_

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Eh!? You're at your Yakuza place again? I thought I could finally snag you for a day! T^T_

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Sorry sweetheart but they're trying to get me integrated and familiar with both the workings and my family._

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _I know, but STILL! I wanna cuddle with my husband!_

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _ಠ╭╮ಠ_

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _We're going on a date next weekend! That settles it!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Okay, okay._

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Where to? Anywhere in mind?_

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Hm...Bath house? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Nice try, close but no cigar._

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Aw man! Daiki, please?!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Nope. Next idea!_

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _=3= I'll see your glory one day Daiki, I swear on it!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _I'm sure you will, love._

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Do you wanna watch a movie then? I can really awkwardly put my arm over your shoulder while pretending to yawn if we do._

 _To: Favourite Stalker_  
 _Movie sounds good. What genre?_

 _From: Favourite Stalker_  
 _RomCom!_

…

Namimori Centre was as loud as ever on a Saturday, people from every age group bustling around as laughter, hollers and chatter rung out in the large space. I snorted as I read an article on my phone, GIFs of flailing baby platypi showing between blocks of text.

"Daiki-kun!"

I let out a laugh as arms wrapped around me from behind, quick kisses dropped on my cheek, uncaring about the eyes watching us from around the food court. Giving a smile, I tilted my head back and pressed my lips to the tip of Takeshi's nose, loving the way he scrunched it up and giggled childishly.

"Hey love," I hummed, letting him go as he walked around the little table I had grabbed, sitting across from me with a grin. "You're rather late today."

"Sorry, I got caught up with a bunch of girls asking for directions!"

"Oh?"

"Yeah! They really liked touching though."

I paused my clicking and looked at him, eyes narrowed as a frown began to form on my face. Reaching across the table, I wove my fingers with his and huffed at his laugh, the other boy knowing full well what he had just caused.

"No." I muttered, "Mine."

Takeshi gave a loud snicker before pressing the back of my hand to his cheek, grinning all the way as I pretty much just pouted at him. He smiled before giving my hand a kiss and nuzzling it, my frown twitching into a smile despite my efforts.

"So, ready for the movie?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll pay for both of us. You go and get the snacks?"

"Mhm!"

We parted ways and I stepped to the line of the register, the cue pretty fast moving for a Saturday morning. It didn't take long for my turn to come and I smiled at the poor teen standing behind the counter, the gleam in her eye practiced and we shared a knowing nod. Customer Service.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

Picking out the movie on the board, I laughed, feeling eyes on me for being a boy asking for such a title.

"Oh? Is your girlfriend coming?" She chuckled, tapping the screen to get the print out.

"He's around here somewhere." I shrugged, the girl taking it in stride as she laughed her mistake off.

"Sorry, sorry. Enjoy the movie."

"No problem, thank you."

With the two tickets in hand, I loitered around the theatre's entrance for a bit before my shoulder was promptly headbutted, making me look and see the younger boy balancing his prizes with an excited grin.

"Are you sure you're going to be able to eat all that?" I asked, taking some of it off his hands.

"Don't underestimate a Yamamoto's stomach, shujin-kun, it is an insult of the highest calibre." Takeshi warned gravely, looking me right in the eye over his small hill of food.

"Oh, how rude of me, my apologies."

"I'll let it slide this time because you didn't know." He huffed, "But in exchange I demand a kiss."

"I suppose I have no choice...but let's do that inside, I don't think I can reach you over that." I laughed, making him pout loudly but push us to move faster.

We found our seats relatively quickly, being one of the first people in the cinema. Takeshi organised his food in a manner that I didn't understand before leaning on me heavily, grinning in the low light expectantly. He nudged me when I didn't notice, making me start and turn to him, a low laugh coming when I saw the impatient expression on his face.

"Yeah, yeah." I hummed, before leaning over and sealing my lips against his.

He made a noise of happiness before burying his nose into my neck, our fingers interlocking on top of our shared armrest. A smile forced itself onto my face as I leant my cheek on the top of his head, rubbing the side of his hand absently with my thumb.

…

"Haha, that was fun!"

"You whacked me upside the head when you tried to put your arm around my shoulders though."

Takeshi pressed his pout into my cheek as we walked out the cinema, quick to pull my arm around his shoulders and hold the dangling hand in his own.

"It was an accident! I apologised! I even kissed it better!" He whined, pecking my cheek three times with each exclamation.

"But the movie was good yeah? The scenes were funny!"

"Mhm, there was common sense too!" I joined, leading us into the open.

"Daiki-kun, you're always so focused on sense! When we watched Mean Girls with the others, you got so angry!" He laughed.

"All of that could have been avoided if _anyone of them_ had practiced common sense!"

"But then there wouldn't be a plot!"

I sighed loudly and hugged my partner closer as he cackled at my fury, already well used to my loud dislike for those kinds of films. He had made me watch things like that just so he could watch my reaction, having made a tally of how many times I had face palmed or cringed in second hand embarrassment.

"Do you wanna get ice cream?" The Rain asked, wrapping his arm around my waist and stationing his hand on my hip.

"You're trying to distract me." I huffed, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Maybe~!" He cooed, kissing my jaw. "Is it working?"

"I'm honestly surprised that you can fit anything else in your gut."

"Remember what I told you." Takeshi hummed as we spotted a small gelato store.

"Yeah, never underestimate a Yamamoto's stomach." I laughed. "Hang on here, I'll go get it. You want vanilla, yeah?"

"You know me well." He smiled, accepting the kiss planted on him quickly.

"Be right back, don't get into trouble."

* * *

 **|Y.T|**

The young Yamamoto boy kicked his feet idly as he waited for his fiancé on a bench, he clicked through his phone, smiling when he saw a remainder from his father to text him first if he decides to crash at Daiki's house.

" _Oi, you."_

He paused, before looking up to see a small team of teens scowling at him. The Rain blinked before smiling, remembering that his partner would be back soon enough.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yeah, come with us for a sec." The one in the centre huffed, crooking a finger at him.

"Ah, sorry, I'm waiting for someone. Can it be done here?" He laughed, rubbing the nape of his neck.

"No." Another decided, grabbing him by his jacket and yanking him onto his feet.

"Whoa!"

Takeshi stumbled but managed to keep his feet as he was shoved into an alley, a hum of confusion leaving him as he looked around, seeing old indie band flyers and graffiti. The Rain turned and faced the group blocking his way, the few having rallied their troops and grown in number by quite a bit.

"Um, can I ask what's going on?" He asked, glancing to each face.

"We saw you and your _boyfriend_."

"Yeah, we're on a date! We just came back from the movies!"

There was a ripple of tension in the group, teeth coming to grit and bare at him. A few cracked their knuckles, and one spat off to the side, Takeshi frowning when he remembered how much Daiki disliked spitting- or just bodily fluids in total, actually.

" _Yo, why're we attacking this one?"_

" _You know how the yaoi thing works yeah? The uke's always shit weak and cries a lot."_

" _Yeah, but how do we know he's the...what's it called again?"_

" _Uke, dude. And cause he's the smaller one!"_

"Huh, why are you talking about seme-uke dynamics? Are you yaoi fans?" He laughed, though his hands became fists behind his back.

He had a good idea of where this was going, though, it wasn't often something like this would happen. Namimori was a town that was pretty good at turning a blind eye to just about everything. Whether it be explosions or same-sex couples, it just slipped under their radar or they never pointed it out. When it did get pointed out, however rare that was, it was usually by less than pleasant folk like these.

"No, we're really _not_ fans." The centre man denied, medical mask covering his nose and mouth.

"Oh," Takeshi uttered, working to keep his face jocund and open. "Well, to each their own. I do suppose most yaoi manga are a bit sketchy when it comes to the whole consent thing."

A couple of the guys glanced at each other, his blase attitude throwing the atmosphere off and toning down their macho.

"Dude, look, you should stop dating that guy. It's not natural!" One sighed after a bit.

The Rain blinked, a spark of agitation going of in the far reaches of his mind.

"Not natural? But this sort of thing has happened in nature too!" He laughed, "There are two vulture dads who have adopted a baby chick!"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, it's actually pretty common! Daiki-kun told me about it! It was in the Netherlands, I think."

Daiki had no idea how giddy that article had made him, not in a complete sense. He knew that Takeshi found it cute and such, but he didn't understand how hard it had hit him. The Sun had let his partner sit in his lap while he scrolled through as many articles as possible about it, reading the English ones for him when he ran out of the translated.

"Yeah, but they're animals! We're not animals!"

"Well, technically..." One of his own men muttered, only to get smacked upside the head.

"Shut up! Beat his ass!"

"...The non-kinkey way, yeah?"

Takeshi laughed at his comment, kind of liking that one awkward thug's style. His smile didn't slips as he wove around clumsy fists and legs, tripping over men and boys into the gritty concrete. Dipping his head, he moved out of the way of a punch and slammed his own into a crunching nose.

The Rain shook his hand out as he surveyed the small mass of destruction he had left behind, groaning bodies with bleeding noses and bruised knees littering the floor.

"D-dude! Thought you said he was the uke!"

"I thought he was! He's the smaller one, and he was clinging!"

" _And I thought I told you not to get into trouble."_

The Yamamoto boy preened as the familiar bass bounced down the alley, quickly turning around to see his partner coming to a stop just a bit behind him.

"Honestly, sweetheart, I can't leave you alone of a second, can I?" He hummed, handing him his vanilla cone.

"Nope! You gotta stay with me forever!" Takeshi laughed.

" _He must be it! The taller one!"_

" _But doesn't that go against what you said before?"_

" _This happens sometimes! My sister told me about it!"_

"...What's happening here?" Daiki asked, glancing between the two parties.

"Oh, they were talking about seme-uke dynamics before."

The Sun made a noise of confusion before stepping back out of the range of a flimsy punch, grabbing the wrist and twisting it behind his assailant's back without bothering to look away from his fiancé.

" _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He's not the uke! Not the uke!"_

"Why?"

"I think they wanted to know how seme-uke works in real life." Takeshi shrugged, offering some of his ice cream to him.

"So, they're like NEETs? Or, otaku's actually, since they're out and about."

The Rain smiled as he too was given green tea cream in exchange, huffing when wonderful laughter burst forth. Daiki gestured to his nose making him reach up and gain an abashed hue when he felt cold sweetness sitting on the tip, his other wiping it off with his sleeve.

"Think I can let go of this one now?" He asked, looking to the twitching thug in his hand.

"Yeah, I guess."

The rogue Sun hummed before pushing the teen away, making him stumble over the bodies of his friends and fall amongst them.

"So, where to next? Do you wanna head to my house? Bo-kun's on a play-date with I-pin-chan at Sawada-san's right now."

"Yeah!"

" _Wait!"_

The two boys paused their retreat and looked to the kneeling thug, the others around his slowly getting up as well, nursing injuries.

"Between the two of you, which one is the uke?"

Both Yakuza and Mafia blinked before looking to each other, mulling it over in their minds, but not for long.

"Mm," Daiki shrugged, though there was a growing hue on his face. "I'd bend over for Takeshi-kun, yeah."

"Haha, I'd bend over for Daiki-kun too!" Takeshi laughed, hooking his arm around Daiki's and leaning on his shoulder.

"So," His spouse smiled, a lovely red on his cheeks. "I guess we're a swapping couple, then."

"Mhm! Let's go to your house now, you got that new game yesterday yeah?!"

"Yeah, I waited for you before playing. Haven't even taken it out of its box yet. I know how much you like to unwrap things." He nodded, wrapping his arm around the smaller waist and guiding them out of the groan filled alleyway.

The Rain's smile widened with excitement and his eyes shone at the idea of the awaiting bubble wrap and boxes.

"Ah, thank you, shujin-kun!"

Daiki hummed and lowered himself to press a kiss on his fiance, pushing their smiles together as a hand cupped the Sun's nape, thumbing along his hairline.

"You're very welcome, my love."

 **|Y.T|**

* * *

 **P: [Insert Coo-ing noises]**


	13. Complicated Cousins

**|Complicated Cousins|**

 **Hello, hello! LeNoRi here! I've looked at the plethora of Daiki's cousins, and have accepted how slightly dickish it is of me to introduce 15 new characters and dump them all at once, then proceed to make them forgettable and ignore them. So! Here, I will be starting a series of short stories in which the characters of Daiki's cousins will be explored and, hopefully, remembered.**

 **And I will admit, if I didn't have their names all listed in age order in my sticky notes, I'd forget them too.**

 **And now, we begin with the eldest!**

 **Plunny: ...spoiler alert, a certain chubby Hufflepuff candidate is my favorite. She got me hooked at 'best hugs', and as a fellow badger, I am sad I cannot confirm that in real life. Who's your favorite?**

 **Overall Word Count: 6,473**

* * *

 **|HONDA|**

 _ **Spring**_

 _ **Festival Grounds**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Honda:**_ _Age 21_

 _ **Cooper:**_ _Age 23_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 283

* * *

"Honda-onee, have you ever been to a Namimori Festival?" I asked, watching the refined woman accept a toffee apple from Cooper with a grateful smile.

"No, I can't say I have. I've come to the area for appearances with the local Yakuza, however I did not leave their compound." She answered, smiling pleasantly when she tasted the sweetness.

"Oh, cool, then this'll be an experience."

The two Yakuzas blinked at me, before a jumping as a bomb went off to the north. Cooper looked to me in alarm, blanching as I continued to smile, not reacting to the gust of wind that came through. Honda cast her gaze around, showing outward confusion when nobody else reacted to the continuing explosions, going about their activities, free of falling shrapnel.

"The fireworks are really good, too." I laughed, before guiding them on.

"Most of the games are over on the eastern side, and the food on the west, but they sort of blur together in the middle."

The shriek of a prepubescent boy rung through the air, coupled with jocund laughter and gun fire.

"Do you want to see anything in particular, or would you rather just wander with me?"

"Ah…" Honda breathed, looking at the screaming teens being chased by a giant turtle.

"Wander? Very well then!" I laughed, turning back and snaking through the crowds, pottering from shop to shop.

"What on Earth is going on here? Are we sure that it is safe to leave Daiki-kun in Namimori?" My cousin asked Cooper, the shaded man only shaking his head.

"The locals of Namimori are a different breed altogether, my lady. They've adapted to survive in this terrain. Lord Watanabe will be fine."

* * *

 **|SORA|**

 _ **Spring**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 _ **Convention Centre**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Sora:**_ _Age 15_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 1, 011

* * *

" _Daiki-nii-sama!"_

I looked up from watching Ame assault Aika with a pool noodle to see Sora bounding over to me, a huge grin on her face. She plonked down next to me before draping herself over my lap, looking up at me with imploring eyes.

"So, you know how much I love you and that you're the best cousin any girl could have and that you're generous and cool and sweet and-"

"What do you want from me this time, Sora-chan?" I asked.

"Geez, do I need a reason to compliment you?" She asked, pouting.

I was about to reply, only to have her cut me off by producing a magazine from within her kimono folds.

"But since you offered, I wanna go to this manga convention on Saturday. Take me? Ojii-sama said I could go if you took me!"

I sighed loudly, thinking if I had anything to do on that day, before nodding when I found myself free. My cousin squealed in glee, wrapping her arms around me in a choke hold and knocked me back, lying on top of me as she strangled me.

"Thank you! Now, I'm gonna run before you change your mind, bye, bye!" She grinned, kissing my cheek before taking off back to her room.

...What have I gotten myself into?

…

I held onto my younger cousin's hand as we were bustled into the loud convention centre, her sparkly Evangelion nail art getting photo requests from the few that got close enough to notice them. She grinned wide as she dragged me over to a plushy shop, cooing over the Totoros and No-Faces in the Ghibli section.

I could only smile and shake my head as she bought a three-metre Haku dragon from _Spirited Away_ , wrapping it around her shoulders like a too big scarf before grabbing hold of me again. It was a pretty packed building, and Sora found herself often pressed right up against me or clinging onto my hand as a crowd attempted to drag her into the abyss. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her out of the mass, a laugh escaping her as she hung in free air for a moment, hands on my shoulders.

Placing her down,we linked hands and I led her out to a sitting area outside. She flopped onto a seat with a sigh, petting Haku's head as she grinned up at me.

I smiled at her, before looking around to the surrounding stalls, humming for a moment.

"Do want anything to drink or eat?"

"Ooh, takoyaki!" She cheered, pointing at the trailer store.

I laughed and nodded, feeling for my wallet in my pocket.

"Okay, just hang on here. I'll be back in a sec." I breathed, seeing her nod before I walked off to the place.

Ordering quickly, I waited next to the stall, my phone buzzing and urging me to fish it out. I smiled as I read the message from Takeshi, the boy screaming about an assignment he had left to bite at his ankles until it was due the on Monday, his procrastination paying off.

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
Daiki! Don't laugh at my misery!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker  
I'm sorry, but you had to have seen this coming! _

"Here you go, sir."

"Ah, thank you." I nodded, tucking away the device and taking the two boxes.

As I walked back, I blinked, a frown coming to my face as the crowd cleared slightly as I saw three teens surrounding Sora, her smile pinched unnoticably as she gripped the tail end of her Haku. One of the boys reached out and grabbed her hand, bringing attention to her nails. This made my cousin jump and try to take it back, the one on her other side laughing before throwing his arm around her shoulders.

"Get off me, please."

"Aw, c'mon! Can't leave you on your lonesome at a convention! Some creepy NEET might take a grab at ya!"

"I'm not alone, my cousin is here with me." Sora huffed, flinching when one she retreated from took a lock of her hair.

"Really? Where is she? Is does she look like you?"

"No-"

"Excuse me." I breathed, looming over the standing teen.

They whipped around, startled by my sudden appearance, before their faces dissolved into what they must have imagined to be 'rough'.

"Yeah? Can we help you?" The one in front of me asked, getting rather up in my face.

"Dude, just turn around and leave, we're telling you this now."

I raised my halved eyebrow at their actions, drawing attention to the scar splitting it and making them reevaluate their prior judgement.

"The fact that you have to tell me that at all makes me not want to. Not to mention, your phrasing makes me rather hesitant to leave my cousin in your company."

Moving past the stunned boy, I handed Sora her container of takoyaki, straightening after a moment and looking down at the boys still sitting on either side of her.

"So, may I ask what you were planning to do?"

"Just, you know, keep her company." One shrugged, letting go of her hair quickly.

I gave a low hum, seeing their bravado falling quickly. They avoided my eyes, looking to each other instead.

"Well," The one on the right started quickly, "It was nice meeting you... Nice nails!"

They nodded to me before scampering off, awkward flushes on their faces.

Shaking my head, I looked back to my cousin and sat beside her, throwing a comforting arm around her shoulders and making her lean on me.

"You okay?" I asked, moving Haku's whiskers away from her food.

"Mhm, they weren't too bad. Just a bit pushy." She answered, bringing a piece to her mouth.

I smiled and rubbed her arm before taking mine back, the girl immediately regaining her enthusiasm as a couple costume of Death Note's Light and Ryuk walked past. A long sigh escaped me as I was called over to take a picture, smiling fondly at my cousin caught on screen.

* * *

 **|KAGUYA|**

 _ **Summer**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Kaguya:**_ _Age 15_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 592

* * *

I jolted awake as a body landed on mine heavily, the blur of sleep gone immediately as arms wrapped around me in a death grip. My arm shot out and grabbed a handful of the intruder's shirt, preparing to yank them off and send them flying, only to pause when a choked sob escaped them.

"Kaguya-chan?" I asked, reaching for the lamp beside my futon.

"Please don't turn on the light."

Frowning, I sat up and gently placed my hand on the back of her head, feeling hot breaths and a patch of wet forming on my stomach.

"What's wrong?" I asked, pulling her face out of my shirt, a faint silhouette visible in the dark room.

"Kaguya-chan, come on." I sighed, rubbing away the wet on her cheeks with my sleeve.

"It's...It's dumb." She sniffed, dyed blond hair falling in her face, hiding her away from view. "Don't worry about it."

My frown deepened at that, how the hell can I not worry about this? Kaguya was always bouncy and excitable, her personality consisting of neons and dollar-store glitter.

"You know I'm here to listen, yeah?" I breathed, brushing her long hair out of her face.

"Yeah..." She muttered, laying down on my lap again. "It's just...some things aren't working out with my friends and...well, I think we've reached our expiration date."

"Oh, dear." I sighed, running my hand along her back, feeling her body shake. "Was there a fight? Or was it just time?"

"Time, I think. I guess I just was ignoring how we were drifting, and it just hit me today. It's really dumb and immature, I know, but-"

I pulled my younger cousin up onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her, waiting for her to settle as she cried over being left behind. I pressed a quick kiss on her temple, patting her back as she clung, bleached strands sticking to her cheeks with salt.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Hey, it's fine. I'm your big cousin, I'm here for this sort of stuff." I laughed softly, smiling reassuringly at the smaller girl.

She sniffed, her nose red and runny, but tried to reflect the smile, coming out weak and strained. My expression softened and I peeled strands from her tear tacky face, gathering up her hair behind her and letting it fall down her back.

"You're in a time of development and change, friends are going to come and go. You'll make new ones and they may stay, they may leave. We don't know this kind of stuff, Kaguya-chan, we can only change with it."

"But you've got that friend who's been with you since pre-school." My cousin rebutted, scrubbing her eye.

"I'm one of the lucky ones," I smiled, "But there were times I thought I was gonna lose him. Wasn't so fortunate, however."

The Yakuza girl snorted at me, the sound wetter than it usually was. I hummed and gave her another hug, her frame fitting well into mine.

"I know that this sort of thing happens...but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with."

"I know." I sighed, holding onto her. "You're allowed to hurt, dear."

Reaching around Kaguya, I pulled my cover from under her and tucked her into my side, draping the sheets over us both before letting her burrow her face into my shoulder, not showing signs of relenting her grip again anytime soon.

"Love you, Daiki-nii-sama." She muttered sleepily, having tired herself out.

"Mm," I hummed, pulling the sheets higher. "Love you too, cousin."

* * *

 **|TORU|**

 _ **Spring**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Toru:**_ _Age 15_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 230

* * *

I jumped as someone pounced on me, my body sinking further into the lush couch as their weight pressed down on me. With wide eyes, I took in the visage of Toru's chocolate stained face, her grin threatening to split her cheeks.

"Ah, hello Toru-chan." I uttered, wincing as she bounced on my stomach.

"I just ate three whole bars of chocolate!" She announced with vigour.

"Did you now?"

My younger cousin nodded her head rapidly, locks of ebony lashing wildly behind her as she giggled. Toru continued to grin like a maniac as she nibbled the sweetness from under her nails, her kimono opening messily to reveal her legs as she remained in a straddle on my middle.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile at the girl, her glee infectious and permeating, as it always was when food was involved. Giving a sigh, I relaxed back into the generous cushions, accepting my fate as her seat until she moved on to scavenge for more sustenance.

"How was school today, Toru-chan?"

"It was good, Daiki-nii-sama." She responded, "A boy came and gave me cookies."

"Oh?" I breathed, raising an eyebrow. "What's his name?"

"Dunno, he ran away. Still got cookies though, which is what matters." Toru shrugged, snickering as a scream ripped through the house.

" _Who ate my cho- TORU-CHAN!"_

"You better run, cousin mine." I chuckled, the girl snickering as sugar coursed through her.

"Bye-bye, talk to you at dinner!"

Toru kissed my cheek before vaulting off of my stomach and dashing out the door, Bunko quick to follow with a slipper in hand.

I snorted at their behaviour, watching the chaos take place, before touching where her lips had fallen, drawing my fingers back to show faint traces of sticky, melted chocolate marring them. Slowly, a grin began to stretch along my lips, a cruel idea forming in my mind just as my phone went off, ' _Favourite Stalker'_ quick to sense the danger.

* * *

 **|NAOMI|**

 _ **Summer**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Naomi:**_ _Age 14_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 836

* * *

Out on the deck of the Dorms, I sighed as I soaked up the sunshine, heat radiating wonderfully onto my back as I clicked away at my phone, a lazy smile on my face. The device in my hand beeped as another message came in, prompting my to abandon a gaming video to read it.

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
Eh!? You're at your Yakuza place again? I thought I could finally snag you for a day! T^T_

My expression softened, my jaw coming to be propped up on my palm as I clicked in a response.

 _To: Favourite Stalker  
Sorry sweetheart but they're trying to get me integrated and familiar with both the workings and my family._

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
I know, but STILL! I wanna cuddle with my husband! __ಠ╭╮ಠ_

I gave a low laugh at that, suddenly feeling the need to nuzzle him into contentment.

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
We're going on a date next weekend! That settles it!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker  
Okay, okay. _

_To: Favourite Stalker  
Where to? Anywhere in mind?_

I lowered myself back down to lay on the flooring, my cheek resting on my forearm as I watched the response pend, fondness for my other floating around my mind.

"Who're you talking to?"

My body went tense suddenly as one of my cousins dropped down to sit elegantly beside me, their hand resting between my shoulder blades and feeling out the edges of the plates. Turning my head, I blinked when I saw Naomi smiling down at me, a bowl of fruits in her lap.

"Hello Naomi-chan." I hummed, watching as she placed the ceramic bowl between us and leant on her hand.

"Good morning, my husband." She smiled, a hue taking her cheeks.

Unable to help the groan that escaped me, I allowed for an exasperated furrow to come to my brow, eyes closing as I asked for patience. Naomi didn't seem the least put out by this reaction, a little, feminine giggle coming and she leant closer and attempted to kiss my cheek, only for me to roll away, splaying out on my back.

"I'm your cousin, Naomi-chan, not your husband."

"Oh, you're just being fussy." She laughed, coming over to lay her head on my chest.

 _Bzzt! Bzzt!_

Pulling up my phone, I held it above me as I quickly unlocked and accessed the message.

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
Hm...Bath house? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _

"Bath house? Why are you talking about bathhouses?" Naomi asked, pressing a strawberry to her tongue. "Ooh, are you going to one? I wanna come too!"

"No," I sighed, tapping away at the keyboard. "You're not coming to the bath house, neither am I."

 _To: Favourite Stalker  
Nice try, close but no cigar._

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
Aw man! Daiki, please?!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker  
Nope. Next idea!_

"Who are you texting? Planning a day trip?"

"I'm planning a _date_ with my _boyfriend._ " I answered, stressing the key words to the girl.

There was silence from her end, only filled by the buzz of my phone and the koi breaching the surface of the pond.

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
=3= I'll see your glory one day Daiki, I swear on it!_

 _To: Favourite Stalker  
I'm sure you will, love. _

"Because I'm such a considerate wife and Daiki-nii-sama is still young, I'll let you continue to see this other man." Naomi declared suddenly, crossing her arms. "But once we're married, you have to drop him!"

My free hand twitched minutely, but I managed to keep a hold of myself and took a long breath.

"I'm not getting married to you Naomi-chan. We're cousins, remember? And don't tell me to drop Takeshi-kun, it's not funny, even as a joke."

The young Yakuza puffed her cheeks in a show of resistance, her eyes narrowing as she harrumphed loudly.

"We're getting married! It's already been decided!"

 _From: Favourite Stalker  
Do you wanna watch a movie then? I can really awkwardly put my arm over your shoulder while pretending to yawn if we do._

I was torn between laughing at Takeshi's text and trying to subdue Naomi, a groan of annoyance winning out as I clutched my phone like my lover would somehow sense my distress and swoop in to save me.

"Cousin," I started sternly, sitting up to look at her. "We are not getting married, I am not your husband and you will not persuade me into breaking off my relationship with my Takeshi-kun."

The Yakuza girl pouted and looked away pointedly, rising to her feet and bowing before walking away, leaving the bowl of fruit for my consumption.

I sighed, knowing that the silence would only last for the day and it would begin anew tomorrow. If there was one thing I had to respect my cousin on, it would be her stubbornness, she knows what she wants and she goes after it single-mindedly. I respect it, but in situations like this, dear God, do I hate it.

 _To: Favourite Stalker  
Movie sounds good. What genre?_

From: Favourite Stalker  
RomCom!

* * *

 **|GIN|**

 _ **Autumn**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Gin:**_ _Age 14_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 1,433

* * *

The six youngest of our clan were curled up on a fort of pillows and blankets beside me, Ame's foot buried in Aika's stomach while strands of Nami's hair were in her fist, the three triplets were curled around each other reminiscent of a trio of kittens, the sight making me smile fondly at them. Kaguya had tottered over at some point and had promptly secured herself under my arm, her head of artificial platinum gold on my collar as she snoozed. Aoi, as always, had seen the opportunity and scuttled over from her small den, situating herself on my free side and promptly stealing my body heat, her blankets cocooning her as she conked out immediately. The two teens reached over my stomach and gripped onto each other, a huff of amusement leaving me as I watched the subconscious action take place.

Gin hummed to herself as she ran her fingers along her koto, having forgone her European harp for the day. She wasn't playing anything in particular, just strumming the strings absently, checking for their tune and condition.

I relaxed into my pile of pillows, watching her go about her business, she looked much calmer when she immersed herself in her music, the skittish tension that usually coiled her body seeping away as pale tips and neat nails plucked at notes. I smiled when she looked up, still in her state of mind, allowing her to give a languid one in return.

"Are you going to play something cousin?" I asked quietly, reaching for my plate of persimmons.

"Hm...I suppose I might." She breathed, before reaching to a small lacquer box and pulling free what looked like picks.

Gin tucked them into her fingers before pulling her long, tar hair out of the way, a sheet of inkinesss falling down her back as she reached over the koto. She rolled her shoulders before breathing low, her eyes half-lidded and relaxed.

I hummed lowly and tilted my head to the side, closing my eyes as I recognised the traditional koto song that drifted through, ' _Sakura'_ staining the air and washing over the other napping occupants of the room. Cupping my hand slightly, I used my fingers to shield the way my Flame danced in my palm, tongues of Sun doing an ameture immitation of geisha movements.

" _Oh, what's this?"_

Gin froze suddenly, the music coming to a grotesque, grating halt and making my eyes open, both of us looking to the intruder standing in the doorway.

"Who are you?" He asked smoothly, stepping into the main room and reaching to touch her shoulder.

The boy looked to be in his mid-teens, and of average height. His face was what one could call pleasing, and his black hair was slicked back neatly for the occasion, a suit coming to complete his comfortably professional look, tie done in a loose, yet attractive windsor and cufflinks catching the afternoon light. His smile was alarmingly sculpted, curved with the intention of disarming, but only worked to set both Gin and myself on edge, sensing a hidden agenda from behind his sparkling, gleeful black eyes,

"I should be asking you that, this place is off-limits to outsiders. Only those of the Watanabe family and those with special permission are allowed to enter here." I interrupted, my voice strong but careful of the sleeping girls.

"Huh?" He blinked, as if just noticing my presence in the room.

Frowning, I dropped my gaze to Gin, holding back a sigh when I saw her frozen stiff, eyes wide in paralysed terror as she looked to me. My cousin Gin wasn't the most social of people, her throat tends to close when she needs to communicate with those outside of the family, and she gets all stiff in interactions. In a situation like this, when someone had approached her and began a social interaction, she would clam up and look to the nearest of our cousins- today, being me.

"You," I started, looking at him pointedly to get the message across. "Are not meant to be here."

The suited boy looked surprised by my intervention, his hand still reaching for my younger cousin. At my continued stare, he straightened himself and gave a laugh, quickly schooling hsi decorum.

"I was under the interpretation that someone of my status would be allowed to freely enter any of the rooms you had to offer."

While he said this, I could feel his gauging the situation, my blank face holding as I made a quick, hidden check at the folds of my cousin's kimonos, happy that none of their garb had opened in their tossing. His eyes trailed over the mass of girls in the room, paying attention to how my relatives hugged my sides in an effort to steal any warmth I had managed to store against the wind.

"Even the Watanabe Wakagashira does not come here without forewarning." I informed him, seeing his hand twitch, like he was severely tempted to touch something. "Who are you? You say you have a high status, and yet I do not recognise your face."

"Haha," The suited teen laughed suddenly, a forcibly pleasant sound to it. "My apologies, I haven't even introduced myself! I am the heir to the Furuichi Yakuza, Furuichi Matsuyoshi."

I withheld my frown as I leant my temple on my fist, arm slung onto the pile of plumply stuffed pillows. The way he introduced himself was done with too much vigour, as if he was trying to impress a non-existent audience, expecting praise for stating his name and title in the flourished way he did. There was pride in it, definitely, but that wasn't the problem, nor did I dislike it- having pride in your family and Yakuza was a good trait, especially if you were to inherit the Oyabun seat. No, his pride wasn't the matter.

"And may I ask just who _you_ are?"

Ah, it was his shitty attitude.

"Watanabe-Yamaguchi Daiki, heir to the Watanabe Yakuza, pleasure to meet you _Furuichi-dono_."

The sunshine honey glow to his skin bleached out to a sickly white as he looked at me with wide eyes, expression of a amused smile paralysed on his face. The slight waver behind him caught amber-earth, Gin covering her mouth as she hid away her shy mirth, angling her body to conceal herself from the stiff Yakuza.

"Watanabe-dono, pleasure to meet you!" Furuichi quickly chuckled, clearing his throat as the statement came out a pitch higher than normal.

Gin jumped before scrambling to hide her snort, the boy perhaps hearing it if not had he been rushing to continue to amend his previous actions.

"You'll have to pardon my behaviour, I mistook you for another!"

I let him simmer under my hard stare, knowing just how deep he had dug himself in only a few minutes of interaction.

Forming connections between heirs was an important step in both succession and continued excellence. Having others who have sway over the future of the surrounding Yakuza is an invaluable asset. First impressions are a must, and he knew he had just blown it.

"I will tell you again, Furuichi-dono, those who are not of the Watanabe blood or have special permission cannot set foot into this building." I breathed, making sure he was really hearing me this time.

"Of course, my mistake." The young teen nodded, previous bravado cowed.

"I will not tell anyone of this mishap, since you did not know. However, please do be more respectful when encroaching on another's personal space, my cousin does not take well to strangers."

Furuichi jolted minutely and looked to the suddenly quiet girl, his face swarming with barely concealed trepidation. He began spilling apologies towards both myself and the quickly flustered girl, poor Gin staring wide eyed and red faced up at the blundering boy.

"I-It's fine, Furuichi-dono! It was a mistake!" She squeaked, trying to shrink behind her sleeves.

"Yes, but-"

"Furuichi-dono, perhaps we should step outside." I interrupted softly, seeing Gin reaching her limit and my cousins around me beginning to be disturbed by the noise.

"Ah," He glanced around to the slumbering Yakuza maidens. "Of course, Watanabe-dono.'

As I escorted the young Yakuza heir back to the main house, I glanced over my shoulder and blinked when I saw Gin peeking out around the frame of the door. She watched after our retreating forms carefully, black orbs showing concern with leaving me alone in the presence of an unknown.

"Watanabe-dono, about your cousin-"

"It's fine," I hummed, smiling absently. "She isn't one to hold a grudge."

* * *

 **|BUNKO|**

 _ **Winter  
Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Bunko:**_ _Age 14_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 237

* * *

"Bun-chan," I hummed, dropping down next to the young girl as she scribbled notes down in her book. "Dinner's almost ready, you need to get washed up."

"Almost done, Daiki-nii-sama." Bunko responded quickly, still frowning down at her homework, well over 70% done despite it being due only the next Friday. "Where are Aiko, Nami and Ame?"

Resting my elbow on the low table and bringing my cheek upon that, I regarded the little girl with fondness, her fuku uniform still clad to her from school. As soon as she had gotten back with the others of her enrolled cousins, she had split her time between the youngest six and her homework, spending a good portion of the evening entertaining and watching over them whilst trying to do middle school maths.

"You're a good kid, Bun-chan." I said after a while.

Wide black eyes turned on me in confusion, but shined with a happy tiredness that showed she was just as ready for the weekend as the rest of us.

"Take a break from your homework, I'll deal with the girls tonight." I urged, gently pushing her back from the desk and making her roll onto her back.

"Well, if you _insist."_

And as quick as ever, she was gone from the room, her socks left in a trail behind her as she made a mad dash for the consol, wrestling the controller out of Sora's hands.

* * *

 **|CHIHARU|**

 _ **Spring**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Chiharu:**_ _Age 13_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 657

* * *

Honda and I paused our conversation as a loud bang reached our ears, both of us looking to each other in alarm before getting to our feet and quickly going to investigate the sound. We came to a halt before the door of Chiharu, listening as another thud went off.

Frowning, I knocked against the wooden panelling, but got no response. Giving a hum of concern, I repeated the action, louder, but was still rewarded with nothing.

"Chiharu-chan? Are you alright in there?" Honda called.

 _Thud! Thud! Bang!_

"I'm coming in!" I shouted, before pushing the door aside and stepping into the space.

Honda and I stopped and stared, our lips pressed thin as the long hair of Chiharu whipped about from the furious headbanging. The awkward silence of the room amplifying the scene, white cables of headphones showing that she was in no way aware of our presence.

The young teenager jumped about causing the items in her room to jump with her, floor coming under assault from Pinterest socks as her feet pounded the boards. Her grin was huge, chubby cheeks split wide, showing her prominent canines as she vigorously mouthed words to some song, the guitar solo muffled.

"Chiharu-chan?" I called, trying to get her attention. "Chiharu-chan."

I was thoroughly ignored as another rift kicked up, a hairbrush reimagined into a microphone for the energetic girl to sing to her unseen audience.

"Should we leave her?"

"Without calling a priest first?" Honda scoffed, watching the long black curls get flung about the room. "She might hurt herself, actually."

"I think she's using the bluetooth." I muttered, looking to the k-pop video on the screen of her computer, BTS blasting on full volume.

Raising an eyebrow in fond humour as she began air-guitaring as if her life depended on it, I carefully walked around her, keeping out of her blast zone, before reaching for the computer and tapping the spacebar.

"Hu- _Ah! Honda-onee-sama! Daiki-nii-sama!"_

We smirked and she crossed her arms, my hands coming to grasp the edge of Chiharu's desk as I leant back against it.

"Nice moves, Chiharu-chan." I hummed, smiling at her as her face went up in red.

"Nii-sama!" She whined, covering her face, curling in on herself.

I gave a loud snort before scooping up the young girl and wrapping her up in a squeezing hug, her shriek nearly shredding my ears before she threw her arms around my neck as well. Her grin was pressed into my shoulder as she laughed, a nervous tick of hers that was sparked by embarrassment.

"Why'd you have to come into my room!"

"We thought you were being attacked." Honda responded, coming up beside me. "Or perhaps, possessed."

"Rude!" Chiharu gasped. "That reminds me!"

"How could that remind you of anything?" I asked incredulously, getting myself hushed by the girl in my arms.

"Honda-onee-sama, can I go with my friends to the movies next Saturday? Please?"

"Shouldn't you be studying for your mid-yearlies?" The Yakuza woman asked, crossing her arms.

"Well, yes, but I promise I will when I get back! It's just for a few hours! Please! I wanna get to it before all the spoilers get flushed out onto the forums!"

Honda turned black eyes on me and asked for my opinion playfully, both of us already knowing she had buckled under the weight of Chiharu's puppy eyes.

"Yay! Thank you!" She squealed, wrapping her arms around me and squishing me into a hug.

I smiled and reciprocated it, the older woman giving a laugh as she watched it.

"Chiharu-chan gives wonderful hugs." I huffed, tightening my grip on my young cousin.

"Chubby people tend to, cause we're all soft and nice." She nodded, happy to feed me affection. "Chubby people rule. We will dominate the Earth. One hug at a time."

I released a snort but cuddled with my relative as she said this, proving her point to be decidedly true.

* * *

 **|AOI|**

 _ **Winter**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Aoi:**_ _Age 10_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 340

* * *

"Aoi-chan, dinner's ready." I called, coming to kneel in front of a small, dome-like construction of blankets, thick and chubby with pillows.

There was a groan from deep inside followed by a faint rustling. I laughed a little bit before reaching into the dark chasm, my fingers brushing over little hands, before finding a soft cheek and poking gently.

"Cousin, you have to wake up." I cooed, running my thumb along her cheek as she gave a whine of annoyance.

"Don't wanna..." Aoi muttered, the sounds of her curling in on herself escaping, my hand now in her possession.

"C'mon," I breathed, slowly inching her out of her cave. "Eat some dinner, wash up, and then you can go to bed."

There was honestly no reason for her to be this tired, having slept most of the day, but Aoi always found a reason or will to nap. She reminded me of a koala, really, spending most of her day sleeping and the waking hours eating, briefly socialising, or finding another location to konk out.

Aoi gave an almighty sigh about how her life was so damn hard, before promptly clinging onto my neck as she seated herself on my hip, yet another of her koala-like attributes.

"You really are lazy, Aoi-chan." I laughed, patting her back as she inhaled into my neck.

"I'm smart, not lazy." She huffed, looking up at me through bleary, black eyes. "I know when someone is both willing and able to carry me- and why walk when someone else can do it for you?"

Her sentence was broken by a yawn, wide and high-pitched. Despite her way of putting it, I couldn't challenge her on it, everyone in the Dorms knew how much of a push over I was for my cousins, especially the younger ones. I rolled my eyes but kissed the top of her head, short cropped hair frizzy and tangled from her long slumber, she made a cooing noise before waving after the scent of food, making me laugh and follow her quiet ' _mush, Daiki-nii-sama'._

* * *

 **|AME| |NAMI| |AIKA|**

 _ **Winter**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Nami:**_ _Age 8_

 _ **Aika:**_ _Age 7_

 _ **Ame:**_ _Age 8_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 535

* * *

I hummed as I braided Nami's hair for her, locks of soot coming to cross over each other. Aika watched from her seat in my lap, wonderment in her face as she tried to copy the action on her little doll, pouting when it knotted up instead. The moment of peace was broken as a sliding noise reached us, our heads turning to see Ame dragging her belly across the wooden floor in circles. Her face was a deadpan blank as her little arms grabbed at the shiny surface, pads catching and pulling herself along.

The three of us blinked quietly, watching her make a couple slow, dragging loops, before I opened my mouth to talk.

"Ame-chan?"

She stopped and turned her head to me.

"What?"

"What're you doing?"

"Dragging myself."

"Why?"

"I'm bored."

"Oh."

With the conversation seemingly over, she turned back and continued to imitate a lazy salamander, Aika looking up at me with concern clear on her face. I smiled down at the youngest girl reassuringly, gently petting her dark hair, the Yakuza child preening under the attention with a little giggle. Taking the bright pink hairband off my wrist, I tied off Nami's braid and took a picture, showing her the image on my phone.

She grinned up at me, playing with the thing, before pausing as a head thumped on my thigh. I looked to it and smiled in confusion as Ame laid on the floor, a loud groan coming after a few beats.

"I'm bored!"

"As you've said." I laughed, hand coming to organise hair that hadn't been brushed since she woke up.

The little girl rolled and batted at my hand, proceeding to act like a cat as Akia created mewls to accompany the actions, Nami crawling into my vacated lap, wrapping my jacket around her and leaning against me.

"Hm, do you want to watch something?" I asked, reclaiming my phone and pulling up the data.

"Like what?" Ame asked, pausing her pinning of her cousin.

"Power Rangers?" I asked, seeing the episode on the homepage.

"..What's that?" Nami asked.

…

"Gather around children, let me tell you the stories of my time."

Aika and Ame raised an eyebrow but sat on either side of me as I propped up the device, the first episode of _Power Rangers Samurai!_ playing on the screen, little speakers blasting the song.

…

" _GO, GO, POWER RANGERS!"_

I covered my ears as Ame shrieked the line again, chasing Aika around the living room with a small pool noodle, Nami following helplessly.

"Go! Pink Ranger, we must defeat Xandred!" The samurai-wannabe shouted at her skittish cousin.

"A-ah, okay, Red Ranger."

" _Nehehehehe!_ " Aika cackled, my eyes widening when I saw her standing on top of a display case. "You Rangers will never defeat me!"

"Aika-chan, get off that!" I yelped, plucking her off the glass box, resulting in her wild flailing and Ame to hit me with the pool noodle.

"Xandred! We must join forces to defeat this new threat!"

"Agreed Red Ranger!"

I could only groan as red and pink pool noodles bounced off me, Aika trying to kick me with her tiny legs.

"I should have never showed you Power Rangers."

* * *

 **|KANA| |MANA| |YAMA|**

 _ **Winter**_

 _ **Watanabe Heir Dorms**_

 **.**

 _ **Daiki:**_ _Age 16_

 _ **Kana:**_ _Age 6_

 _ **Mana:**_ _Age 6_

 _ **Yama:**_ _Age 6_

 **.**

 **Word Count:** 319

* * *

" _Hey, hey, wake up."_

I groaned and rolled onto my back, sluggishly opening my eyes to the still darkened ceiling, lamp light casting an obscured silhouette on the high paneling. A long sigh left me when I noticed the three girls looming over me, their wide, black eyes reflecting the small flame ominously.

"Good morning girls." I breathed, rubbing my face as I fought back a yawn.

"Hey, Daiki-nii-sama." Kana started, hovering on my right.

"It's our birthday today." Mana continued, right above my head.

"Where are our presents?" Yama finished, crouched on my left.

"Mmm...Check the closet."

The triplets were on their feet in seconds and already wrenching open the sliding door by the time I had rolled over to watch them, sleep weighing heavy on my eyes. Curling up, I listened to them rip apart the wrapping paper like a pack of lionesses, sounds of vicious glee escaping them as they held their prize.

" _Yes! Pokemon Sun and Moon!"_

" _Ooh, I got new Yu-Gi-Oh cards!"_

" _Hehehehe, I will rule the playground with this deck!"_

"Thank you, Daiki-nii-sama!" They sang, suddenly right in my ear.

"You're welcome girls," I yawned, still not completely awake. "Happy Birthday."

A grunt escaped me as my covers were forcibly removed from my hands, cool air seeping in as opening were made. I felt little hands push me over to my back before two of my littlest cousins burrowed into either side, Mana finding herself a comfortable perch right on my chest, her head resting on my collar.

"It's our birthday, and it's too cold outside." Yama muttered from my left, gripping my shirt.

"We came to your room because you're the closest." Kana continued, sounding in my right ear.

"You have to sacrifice your warmth to us now." Mana hummed, curling up further.

"...Only 'cause it's your birthdays. Otherwise you'd be out."

"Sure." They chorused sleepily, totally unbelieving of my threat.

* * *

 **Recap:**

Honda - Oldest, most experienced?

Sora - Otaku, obvious but fast striking manipulator

Kaguya - Puberty, the phase of broken bonds and opportunities… Stay strong!

Toru - Glutton, oblivious (romantically at least), hyper

Naomi - Stubborn, unnerving focus on Daiki, disregard for YamaYama

Gin - Musically talented, quiet - until she deems you safe enough

Bunko - Really mature for her age, playful

Chiharu - Chubby and proud, social media expert, extrovert, K-pop.

Aoi - Sleepy. Constantly ready to nap. Anywhere. Anytime. On anyone.

Nami - Trusting, 'power of love and friendship', all-around cinnamon roll vibe so far

Ame - Samurai wanna-be. Easily bored.

Aika - Admires Daiki, secretly mischievous

Kana - Triplette powers, Pokémon/Yugioh! fans

Mana - Triplette powers, Pokémon/Yugioh! fans

Yama - Triplette powers, Pokémon/Yugioh! fans


	14. Chobit15's Request (Halloween Update)

**|Requested Chapter|**

 _Hi, Big fan of The Baker's Daughter and Cooling Rack: Patience is a Virtue omake stories, Just want to ask that if you do take suggestions for possible omakes and if you do, can the next one be a Halloween omake story or a cross dress story like a maid cafe where daiki wears an actual women's kimono for a school event. I can't wait till the next arc and what will happen in the future and if we will see future daiki. Please continue to write awesome stories and just being awesome Sincerely_ **Chobits15.**

 **...**

 **L: Oh...** _ **ohohohohohohohohohoho!**_ **Imagine Ryohei and Daiki dressed as maids...Everyone's in their class wears the opposite!** _ **Trap Cafe!**_

 **P: I assume this is set in the typical cultural festival that every anime school must host?**

 **L: Yus.**

 **P: Coolios.**

 **P: Also my prompt is based on the Extra series "Monster Tamer Tsuna" from the Anime, so if you didn't watch it you'll most likely don't get it. Sorry!**

* * *

 **|DISCLAIMER|**

 **This is not 'canon', and any and all things that happen in this one-shot thing have no impact on the main story of TB'sD**

* * *

 **Trap Café!**

 **Word Count: 6,891**

"Okay everyone," The Class President announced, standing before the blackboard with chalk in hand. "We need an idea for Namimori School Festival. It's our last year, so let's go big!"

" _Let's do an ultra-mega-super-scary haunted house!"_

" _What about a photo booth?"_

" _Takoyaki stand?"_

" _No, no, let's do karaoke!"_

In a single moment, a boy and a girl stood, the screech of their chairs sounding in unison as eyes were drawn to them immediately. Their face were set in firm seriousness, concentration clear as they stared down the President up front.

"Trap," The boy started.

"Cafe." The girl finished.

3-A went up in chaos.

" _Trap Cafe?!"_

" _Oh my God, yes!"_

" _Geniuses of our generation!"_

"So it's a unanimous vote?" The President asked, raising an eyebrow.

I couldn't help but sigh as my hand was grabbed and yanked into the air to join the others.

…

Ryohei grinned as we were handed two boxes, the things inside making me have phantom flashbacks to the past. The other students around us cackled blatantly and few had their phones away as my brother Sun and I sat on two chairs in the centre of the room and kicked off our shoes and opened the long boxes, revealing a pair of high heels on each.

"Dear God." I muttered, getting howls of humour from my classmates.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Ryohei laughed, slapping me on the back with a cringe worthy _bang!_

"But I'm already tall enough!" I huffed, looking to the heels. "With these I'll be 188 at least!"

"Oh, suck it up and put 'em on, Yamaguchi-kun!"

Across the room were a group of girls already prancing around in shoes that made our's look pathetic, getting a good kick out of watching Mochida lay on the floor in adamant refusal of standing in his pair of bright, hot pink stilts.

"C'mon Yamaguchi-kun, you can do it!" One girl called, her six-inch making me fear for her ankles as she spun precariously.

"I have seen the high heel tripping compilations!" Mochida cried, trying to plaster himself to the floor as he was grabbed by his stilettoed classmates. "I have a future which requires intack ankles!"

The class shouted with thick mirth and egged us on, cheering triumphantly as my brother and I squirmed our feet into the strappy death traps. I could immediately feel the impending pain that would come if I were to spend more than half an hour or so walking around in these shiny, black monsters, the teething seams of the straps already grating and pinching my skin.

"I'm already in pain!" I called out, getting a round of hysterical laughter from the girls.

Ryohei was the first to push himself to his feet, and subsequently the first to go stumbling into the crowd, arms grappling to catch the flailing boxer.

"Whoa, dude, you okay?" I laughed, slowly getting to my feet but refusing to release the back of my chair.

Oh dear God, this is worse than I remember.

"Yeah! Just a bit wobbly!" He hollered, pushing himself back upright.

"Ah, Yamaguchi-kun, would you like some help?"

I looked to the inquiry and smiled when I saw Kaito, his basketball jersey still draped over his frame, obviously dragged here without a chance to change. Atop his head was an unruly wig, showing that he was still in the fairly painful wig/hair extension process.

Ryohei and myself were both going to be subjected to the pulling, poking discomfort of cheap, dollar store hair extensions. The kind that you would use for dress up as a kid. My hair had been especially hard to find a match for and Shirosaki had been _this close_ to blowing a fuse.

"Thank you, Kaito-kun," I breathed, placing my hand on his lower shoulder as he helped me step away from my safety chair. "See Ryohei-kun, you gotta find yourself a gentleman!"

The Sun looked over his shoulder and made a loud noise of betrayal before waving over a boxing club member and grabbing him full force as his heels slipped. I laughed as I carefully walked past him, Kaito helping balance me when I rocked.

"Have fun with those stilts, bro!"

"You're rude!" He shouted, getting another round of laughter as he was pulled from the floor.

…

I squinted at the pile of material dropped onto my lap, my measurements having been taken and the suiting style of my request handed over. It was a normal maid's dress, the British-Japan spin off kind, and was a simple white on black. It covered well, and would let me wear my binder.

"Okay, let's get you guys dressed so we can see if you need any alterations." Shirosaki scoffed, shoving Mochida and another boy into the sectioned off part of the classroom, a curtain acting as the door.

Ryohei laughed and pulled me along, his own maid outfit tossed over his shoulder as he raised his fist in excitement.

"I will be the most EXTREME maid!" He roared, immediately stripping down.

I huffed a laugh before undoing my belt and dropping it, reaching into the folds of my dress and pausing when I saw the sheer material fall.

"Stockings?!" I called over the curtain, "You expect us to wear stockings too?"

"Yes, thunder-thighs! See if you can squirm into 'em!"

"Try not to rip them, they're my sister's!"

I groaned and pressed a hand to my face, the other boys finding their own stockings, fishnet to patterned.

"Will these even go over my boxers?" Ryohei asked, one leg trapped in the material.

"Okay, let's get this over with." I sighed, "And Ryohei-kun, you're meant to put your feet in at the same time."

"Huh-Oh..."

" _Shit! It ripped!"_

…

I gripped the black material in an effort to filter my nerves as the girls surveyed us, my skirt brushing my ankles as I was pulled around to have the bow at my back adjusted. Hands found my hair and began fiddling with the clips that held in my extensions, long, synthetic strands falling to my elbows with a braid going down the centre of the curtain. My head hadn't felt this heavy before, and it felt like I needed to nod forwards to balance it out, but that only made the clip on earrings tug at my lobes.

The darn fake pearls had caught in my hair three times now and it had felt like I had ripped myself a new one, one boy yanking his shirt off too fast and alerting three classrooms down with his screams. And these were the _clip ons,_ God forbid he really get pierced.

"Daiki-kun, bro, look at me!"

I turned and jolted, eyes widening as I focused on my brother Sun with an astounded expression.

"Isn't she pretty!" The appointed makeup artist of the event cooed, brushing a bit more highlight along the bridge of Ryohei's nose.

"Jesus Christ, bro, you kinda look like Kyoko-chan!" I laughed, snapping out of it as fake eyelashes blinked in an over-display of bashfulness. "Damn, Kikyo-san, this is awesome!"

"Why thank you." She grinned, looking over her canvas critically.

The powder had softened the harsh lines of Ryohei's face and made his eyes seem wider, lips and cheeks coming to become more pigmented. His eyebrows seemed to be tampered with, a glue stick no doubt playing a role in that. There seemed to be a light shadowing on his lids and eyeliner was painted on well.

"Is that gold eyeshadow?" I asked titling Ryohei's head down so I could see the shimmering covering better.

"We're going all out for our final year, my boys. Sasagawa-kun's scheme is mostly golds and yellows. Yours is going to be blues and golds." She hummed, showing me a spreadsheet with names and pallets. "I can't wait to do you, you'll be a lot easier, but there's so much I can go for!"

"I look forward to it." I smiled, before scrambling to catch Ryohei when his heels failed him.

…

A blanket was placed over my body as I was pushed onto a chair, Kikyo already pointing her brush at me as she eyed my face, a frown set on her lips as she hummed to herself. Her helpers pet me on the shoulders before pulling my hair out of the way, the long thing coming to be held between my back and the chair.

"Okay, I've got an idea. This may take a while, so... Don't. You. _Move._ "

"...Yes ma'am." I muttered.

"Good, close your eyes."

Doing as I was told, I held back a flinch as a kind of cream was placed on my face, cold at first but then warming as it was spread out. Brushes, powder and creams came onto my face with layers upon layers, but the nature of it was quite calming.

"And we're done, ready to take a look at yourself?"

I blinked my eyes open before sitting up and nodding at the girl. She smiled before calling for a mirror, excitedly holding it before me. My stance jolted, a weird knocking coming to my heart as I viewed the covering.

"I went for a more formal look with you, compared to Sasagawa-kun's casual style." The makeup artist explained, coming up beside me in the mirror, using the end of her brush to point things out. "Matte seems to work well with you, and I had been waiting for a chance to use some of them."

She pointed to the blending of gold and blue on my eyelid, making me fear she would poke me in the eye, however her spacial awareness seemed to show through.

"I had been hoping to make a more Egyptian-eske look to your makeup seeing as you were gold and blue, but Shirosaki-san wanted it to be subtle for the cafe. I'll get to use it for you latter in the costume dance though, so it's fine."

"Wait, the dance?" I yelped, looking over my shoulder at the girl.

"Yeah- oh, you guys weren't told yet. We're all going to dress up for the dance tonight! Hibari-san is finally letting it happen! It'll be so fun, you'll let me, right?"

I took a breath as she pleaded, her eyes going big and shiny as she held her hands together, a slight pout coming to her lips.

"I've planned your outfit and everything! Sasagawa-kun's doing it too! He's an Olympian!"

"I...Fine."

"Thank you!"

…

I helped Ryohei to push the last sign up against the wall for it to dry, the designs coiling and elegant in white on grey designs.

"Trap Cafe, be ensnared." I read, tilting my head sideways to decipher the words.

"AN EXTREME JOB GUYS!" Ryohei roared, making the tired kids jump. "BE EXTREMELY PUMPED FOR TOMORROW!"

"Yeah! Everyone get a good rest and come in early, we have a lot to do with set up and costumes." Kikyo nodded, getting agreement from the class.

I smiled as we began gathering our stuff, bag slung over my shoulder as I walked out, brother hot on my heels.

"Yamaguchi-kun!" Pausing, I turned to the call. "Remember to tell Yamamoto-san the rules!"

"Yeah, got it!" I called, waving my hand at the girl.

She nodded before ducking back in, Ryohei clapping me on the shoulder as we continued on.

"He's not going to like it." I laughed, joining the masses.

"He's really not." The Sun agreed, knowing the reaction impending.

I snickered as we exited the scurrying group, lingering by the gate as we waited for the others, Takeshi coming home with me tonight.

The rules that had been put in place was for the whole cafe's benefit, and others were in similar situations as myself. We had to alert our partners that, if they decided to visit us, they weren't to touch us in any manner. It was to avoid confusion with the other customers, and just to remove a hazard in total. I had been reminded especially, the clingy habits of the young Rain a commonly known thing in Nami-chuu.

"Daiki-kun!"

I stumbled as arms were wrapped around me, a face shoved into my shoulder. A laugh left me as I nuzzled his dark hair in greeting, enjoying the little coo that left him as he pressed a kiss on my cheek.

"Hello love, your class just about ready?" I hummed, placing a hand on his waist.

"Yup! We're doing a haunted house!" He cheered, soon joined by his two friends. "Tsuna-san's a warlock, Gokudera-kun's a werecat, and I'm a zombie!"

"That sounds like fun, I'll be sure to come and see how effective you are."

"EXTREMELY!" Ryohei roared, making Tsuna cower in fright.

"W-" The Sky cleared his throat to fix his pitch. "What is your class doing, Yamaguchi-san, onii-san?"

"WE'RE DOING AND EXTREME TRAP CAFE!"

…

"Trap," Gokudera started.

"Cafe?" Tsuna ended, tilting his head.

"What does that mean?" Takeshi asked, looking between my brother and I.

"What does 'trap' mean in otaku culture?" I responded, looking down at him.

"Trap means guys that look a lot like...girls." He answered, eyes widening slightly.

"Good, now, mix that with cafe. And tell me what you get."

I smiled as I saw their faces redden, eyes growing as their jaws slackened. The two across from me began spluttering, the arms that encompassed my waist constricting to squeeze my sides.

"You and and turf-top are going to dress up as _girls!?"_ Gokudera choked.

"As EXTREME MAIDS!"

I laughed as another round of heaving took the two before looking down at my partner, smiling when I found him dazed and out of it, a far away look in his eyes as his mind went rampant with the information given to him. A hum escaped me as I carefully carded his hair, seeing a small smudge of green-grey face pain in the shell of his ear. As I gently rubbed it away with my thumb, I felt him press up against me, gripping the back of my shirt.

"I wanna see it. I wanna see you." Takeshi uttered, making me looked to his eyes and smile.

"And I'd be happy if you did." I sighed, before proceeding to drop that little bomb on him. "But cafe rules say you can't touch any of the staff."

"Huh, why not!?" He whined, "I'm gonna wanna kiss you so much!"

"It's to avoid any hazards, love." I explained gently. "If I were to say, kiss you for a picture, a customer may want me to do the same to them, and get mad when I don't."

As I spoke, the blunt bite of nails began in my side, a darker shade coming to mocha eyes as they looked up at me. I sighed at him before pinching his thigh, making him jump.

"Calm down, love. There's no reason to be upset because it's not going to happen. There are rules."

He made a noise of surprise, before it lowered into one of begrudged acceptance, a frown coming to his face even as he nodded and nuzzled my clavicle.

"Okay...I won't touch you when you're in uniform."

"It's fine though, isn't it? Cause," I smiled and kissed the corner of his jaw. "You have me tonight, yeah?"

"Uh-huh. And with _that,_ I am out." Gokudera huffed, grasping the wrist of his Boss and towing them away.

"Bye-bye Gokudera-kun, Tsuna-san! See you tomorrow!"

I waved at them before looking to my own friend, seeing him talk rapid fire to the smaller Sasagawa, Kyoko having appeared just as the others left.

"Well, Takeshi-kun and I better go. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

"EXTREMELY!"

"See you tomorrow, have fun!" Kyoko giggled, snagging her brother and dragging him as I began to guide my own partner.

…

"Hurry up, hurry up! Are you boys really not done getting your costumes on!?"

"Why aren't the tables set yet!? Shirosaki-san, they're all out of order!"

"The signs aren't up yet!"

I gritted my teeth against the rising stress as I helped Kikyo pin the extensions in place, her hands gently tugging the braid into existence. Her teeth were lined with pins and elastic as she rushed between boys and girls, helping them suit up for the day.

There was a loud crash as Ryohei hit the floor, his heels strewn about as he lay face first in the carpet that had been brought in.

"Sasagawa-kun! Get the _fuck_ up!"

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself off the chair, another maid filling it with their wig on hand. Sitting by the window, I squirmed my feet into the strappy death traps and tapped them to comfort, the first steps shaky as ever.

"Yamaguchi-kun, you remember your Maiden Name?" Kaito asked, coming over and handing me my clip on earrings.

"Ah, thank you." I muttered, pinching them into place. "Chi-chan, right?"

"Yep, Chi-chan. You think you can respond to that in time? I'm not sure I'll be able to get used to Kai-chan."

"I'm sure you'll do fine." I smiled, before calling over my shoulder. "Oi, Sa-chan, you ready?!"

"EXTREMELY!" My now sister roared, pulling his face out of the carpet.

" _Is everyone ready?"_

" _We have five minutes!"_

" _Quickly! Quickly!"_

" _Final checks!"_

Everyone took a collective breath a the clock turned the hour, and the Namimori Middle School Festival began.

…

"I don't know why they were so riled up," I hummed, balancing a tray with a selection of milkshakes. "It's only the pupil day, you'd think they'd be more worried about tomorrow."

"We're trying to EXTREMELY impress the rest of our school, Chi-chan!" Ryohei laughed, menu tucked under his arm. "We're setting the bar for the other years!"

"I suppose so." Came my light response, a smile coming to my expression when I saw how much the boy was enjoying himself, always one to jump out of the comfort zone.

"Sa-chan, we need you again!" One of the suited girls called from within the cafe, pulling us from our conversation.

"Coming, To-kun!" He answered, clapping me on the shoulder as he ran off, knee-length skirt bouncing with every step.

I watched after the boy fondly, shaking my head when he grinned full blast and made a few of our patrons question their orientation. My attention was grabbed as the last of the drinks were placed on my tray and I was ushered back out of the room, heels muffled by the carpet as I moved round the room, not entirely used to the swishy nature of the skirt.

"Ah, thank you!"

"You're very welcome." I smiled, bowing as I was instructed before moving off.

It was actually very fun to do this, to see new students come in, pause and double take when they realised just who was playing who in our little trap cafe. The few spluttering and others bursting into laughter and cheers, going on to enjoy the sideways place and waiting for more to come and experience the same thing.

"Daiki-senp- _AI!?_ "

I blinked and turned, before letting out a laugh, my head inclining to the shell shocked mouse standing frozen in the doorway.

"Good morning, Jun-kun." I hummed clear, bringing my hands to the sides of my skirt and bending my knees.

"Y-you're-"

"Would you like to take a seat?" I asked, humour layering my tone.

"I..I think so." Jun breathed, accepting the gloved hand of one of the butlers as he was guided over unsteadily.

"I'll go get you a drink, would you like anything specific?" The trap butler asked, still not releasing the mouse's hand, charm on full blast.

"U-uh, just water, t-thanks." He squeaked, face full red.

We nodded together before abandoning the table to collect the order, a call leaving me to signal to those on kitchen duty the details.

"Gah, Hayashi-san just so precious!" The girl gushed to me, fixing her tray with the laced handkerchief and carefully balancing the single glass of water. "I want one, too! Damn you, Chi-chan, you get all the good ones!"

I gave huffed laughter and shrugged, feeling the extensions bob on my shoulders at the action.

"What can I say, I'm a lucky girl."

She rolled her eyes but nodded in agreement before sauntering over, dialing up the shotacon shine as she did, drawing eyes from around the room. A laugh bubbled out of staff, coos joining it as he sipped away at the glass, little hands cradling the thing carefully as his cheeks kept his hue.

"Hm...I wonder what Jun-kun would look like if he were to dress in a maid outfit?" I hummed to myself, choosing to ignore the gleam that shined in select staff's eyes.

…

As we packed away the store, I glanced over my shoulder with a bit of confusion, wondering at the lack of a certain Vongola party, not having catched even a glance of the trio at any point in the day despite Takeshi's apparent enthusiasm for the setup 3-A had going on. Pursing my lips a bit, I shrugged, deciding that they were busy, after all, Kyoko hadn't come in either.

Shame, really. I had been looking forward to their reactions.

…

"Good morning, sir." I smiled, bowing at the waist as another patron walked in.

"My, this is one of the better ones that I've seen this year! Your class must be really into it, little miss!" He laughed, allowing me to guide him to a table.

"Yes sir," Came my affirmation, a gentle incline of the head making my hair sway and the pins pull. "This is our last year at Nami-chuu, we wanted to set a standard for the years below us."

"Ah, wonderful, wonderful! Though, I may ask: what exactly _is_ a 'trap cafe'?" He asked, placing the menu down.

My eyes became crescents as the question came, a humour rising in my head as the rest of the staff tuned in, matching looks of conspiratorial glee.

"Of course you may sir, allow me to explain."

On the mark, two members came up from behind me, a maid and a butler on either side, mirrored looks of pleasant service on their faces as they bowed.

"Cafe refers to a small restaurant selling light meals and drinks." The butler smiled a bit wider before placing down his order, the hot beverage steaming nicely for him.

"Whereas 'trap' refers to when the gender of a character in an anime and/or manga appears to be that of a female but in actuality the character is male."

The maid bowed, laughing in a voice that did not at all match their appearance. The customer sat stunned for a moment, before bursting out into laughter, hands coming to clap as he continued.

"Well done, Namimori Middle, well done!"

We smiled and bowed before scurrying away to return to our tasks, pleased with the results.

…

"We're sorry, but you can't touch the staff. We're going to have to ask you to leave."

Ryohei and I shared a glance, seeing the first kick-out of the day. We had heard of a similar incident just the floor below in the photo-booth store. A group of boys from a different school had been trying to bend one of the chosen models over his lap for one of the pictures despite being expressly told the rules and guidelines for the stall, and had been subsequently escorted out by one of the karate club attending students.

"Guess they decided to come here, hey." I sighed to my brother, seeing him frown.

"Should we help?" He asked, coming over closer to also peer around the side of the curtain.

"Not just yet, it looks like the girls have it under control."

"Hm." The Sun nodded, but lingered just as I did, broadening his shoulders as well as he could in the outfit.

…

A jocund chorus of thank yous rung out from the group of girls as we stood up from the posed picture, Mochida blushing furiously as he clutched his skirt, prompting coos from his 'favourite'.

"Always welcome, miss." I hummed, gently taking the group coupon from one of them and handing it off to Shirosaki to store away for another customer.

"Please come again!" Mochida and I symphonies, bowing together as they fled the scene with a polaroid.

" _You gotta smile more, Mo-chan!"_

" _Nah man, he's the tsundere type!"_

"You a-"

"Now, now, Mo-chan, remember the agreement." I hummed, yanking him back by the wrist and getting rather close to him. "I won the match, you're to be obedient."

"..." He scowled and huffed before tearing himself free and storming into the kitchen, leaving behind a store quite pleased by the fan-serviced just slipped to them.

…

Wiping down a table, I hummed to myself in a low note, following the light melody that floated around the little make-shift cafe. There was a momentary lull in the customers, it being just a bit after lunch where we piqued, and only two thirds of the tables were taken, leaving room for maids and butlers alike to begin fixing up the face of the store.

Quickly rearranging the flowers in the small vase, I smiled gently at the lovely aroma, before jolting as my alias was called.

"Chi-chan, come seat these sirs, please!"

"Coming." I responded quickly, striding over with my hands folded nicely before me.

Closing my eyes and making my face pleasant, I smiled before bowing at the waist yet again, letting the memorised line escape me.

"Good afternoon, sirs."

My throat closed, but I managed to get the sentence out before it could wrangle it, lips coming to seal tightly to avoid the grin that threatened when I saw the Vongola trio looking ready to drop. They looked like they had come straight from their activity, still outfitted in their 'spooky' gear and facepaints.

"I'll take you to your seats, if you'd follow me." I continued, gently urging with my hand in a delicate curl.

The way they stumbled forwards slightly made me want to cackle, but I hid it well and signalled subty for Ryohei to be called out from the kitchen duty. Pulling out each of their chairs, I smiled as they flopped, or dropped stiffly, still thoroughly dazed.

"Please take your time to think about your order, I'll me when you're ready."

I prepared to move, but paused when I saw Takeshi raise his hand, the limb stuttering to a halt, showing he had remembered the rules. Giving a low hum, I moved back over to the table, deciding to give a small mercy and simply spend a bit more time with them.

"So, how's the haunted house doing?"

"It's doing fine." Gokudera scowled, fake fangs making a faint lisp, cheeks a bright red and standing against drawn on whiskers.

"T-they didn't find me very scary." Tsuna laughed pathetically, rubbing the back of his head. "They just kept calling me ' _Mario'_."

I tilted my head, extensions falling over my shoulder as I did, looking at him critically. Yeah, I see the Mario. My vocalisation of this made him flush a bit as he laughed again, agreeing with me as he shrugged.

"You look really pretty, though, Yamaguchi-san! I would have easily mistaken you for a girl!" The small fish smiled, his awe obvious.

"Why thank you," I hummed, before feeling an ever so faint prod at my foot. "Ki-kun does his best."

Gokudera scowled firmer as he cast his eyes around the room, before choking on his own saliva.

"Is that the _turf top!?"_

"Ah," I laughed, feeling to bump again, and this time, pressed my heel against Takeshi's ankle to show that I knew. "Sa-chan, come here, please!"

"EXTREMELY coming, Chi-chan!" He hollered, getting a round of laughs from a startled group. "Hey, it's you guys! Welcome to the cafe! How do you like it?!"

"Sa-chan, tone it down." I hushed gently, getting him to laugh sheepishly.

"Sorry, sorry. We were wondering where you were yesterday. You never showed up!"

As he spoke to the other two of the group, his eyes dropped to the ground allowing him to see the way Takeshi's and my foot were practically on top of each other. The Rain himself was being very well behaved, if not a bit quiet, his hands firmly planted on the table cloth as if they were not trusted to wander anywhere out of eyesight. Probably weren't.

I tuned into Ryohei's enthusiastic yapping as I placed my palm on the table, leaning on it to relax myself a tad as well as invite a bit more contact from the stiff boy. He was quick to respond, carefully intertwining our pinkies, but leaning back still.

"I want to hug you, but I still want to be able to see you." He muttered, tightening his grip for a second.

I hummed low at that, careful not to meet his eyes incase the fragile control he had were to waver.

…

"I saw that touching, Yamaguchi-kun." Kikyo huffed, crossing her arms at me as I returned to the kitchen.

"Yeah, sorry." I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck.

She sighed and shook her head before pulling the camera from the table giving it a once over before handing off the crew.

"Yamamoto-san has bought a photo voucher, you can guess who he asked for. Touching is allowed in this- with regulation."

I smiled with a bit too much vigour before nodding and moving off the the set, Takeshi already standing by the tripod with a hue on his cheeks. Our eyes met for the first time that day and an explosion of colour took his face, hand coming to clench on his rubber axe for restraint.

"Do you know what kind of pose you want to do? There are only two pictures." I asked, getting a hesitant shake of the head as a small smile came to his face.

"You can choose, shujin-kun." He laughed airily.

My lips pulled at his state, and I nodded in understanding before looking at the props, an idea coming to mind when I saw the chair tucked in the corner. Telling him to go hand over his coupon, I quickly retrieved the chair and placed it in the centre of the setting, white drop sheet background working well to reflect the lighting.

"Okay, Chi-chan, ready when you are."

"Come here, Takeshi-kun." I called, urging him over. "Do you want to stand or sit?"

"I'll stand." He answered, before allowing me to move him just behind the chair, a little to the right.

Arranging my skirt as I sat down, I looked over my shoulder and began instructing him, a hand to be tucked behind him and his left on my shoulder. Reaching up, I covered the hand with my own, gently caressing the fingers and tilting my head to lean into the touch.

"Ready when you are." I sighed, letting a calm smile take my face as I felt Takeshi squeeze my shoulder.

 _Click!_

"Haha, a zombie and a maid, that's going to confuse so many people who see this picture!" The developer laughed, shaking the polaroid as the next was set.

"Less formal now?" I asked, getting up and removing the chair. "Still no ideas?"

"Well, I have a few, but we can't do them." Takeshi pouted, prompting a laugh from me.

"Aw, don't make that face, my love." I cooed, cupping his cheeks and drawing him close purely from habit.

Our noses bumped from the proximity, making us give matching grins and crescent eyes that gleamed with laughter and happiness as I continued to squish his zombie painted face, mocha eyes glazed over with an emotion that made my heart fumble.

 _Click!_

"Chi-chan, please." Kikyo uttered, snapping me out of habit and forcing me to step back.

I smiled apologetically at both Takeshi and the girl, getting a bit of a laugh out of the attending staff as she came up and wiped greenish-grey body paint off the tip of my nose. A quick touch up later and Takeshi was in possession of both photos, his happy glow making me sigh from across the room.

"Come on, love-sick. Let's get back to work."

…

"Yahoo!"

I laughed as Ryohei and I bumped shoulders, the café cleared away for the final time and the school free of outsiders. The day was just about wrapped up, with only the bonfire and dance waiting to commence in only a bit more than an hour, causing our private celebrations to be a bit fast forwarded in order to allow Kikyo her fun.

"Sasagawa-kun, you get your costume on, I'll do your makeup later. Yamaguchi-kun, you're with me."

I nodded and followed the makeup artist back to the chair, my maid outfit forgone for a normal set of civies. Closing my eyes as I did before, I allowed her to fiddle with my face, aware of the people bustling around at a much more leisurely pace than before. There was the faint sound of material begin dropped before the woman let me sit up, face once again heavy with product.

"Oka- oh my God, I'm a genius." She gasped. "Get your cloths on, I wanna take a picture for my compendium later!"

Blinking in a momentary stupor, I nodded before grabbing the mass of blue and gold, feeling hard pieces within the cloth. Treading over to the changing room, I muttered to myself, before pausing.

Oh fucks.

"You want me to wear _this!?"_ I yelped, seeing the slit that rode far up my thigh. "I'm not even sure that would allow me to wear my boxers!"

"Put it on, Daiki-kun!"

"Yeah, put it on, Yamaguchi-kun!"

"Fuck you!" I snapped back.

Wincing, I stripped myself quickly in the vacant space and pulled my boxers as high as they could go before pulling on the 'skirt', feeling the material flutter around my legs in a flowy nature. Glancing around, I quickly stole off my undershirt before grabbing up the top of the costume, worry biting at my mind when I saw how scanty it was. Nonetheless, however, it did manage to cover my binder, though only barely, leaving my midsection and arms open the the cooling air.

Biting my lip, I began clamping on accessories, golden braces clicking into place on my wrists and biceps, a collar of gold and plastic rhinestones hitting my clavicle as a twin clasped my hips as a belt.

"I don't know how to feel about this!" I yelled over the curtain.

"Come out and let us see!"

Let someone see me in _thi-_

" _No!"_

"Yes!"

"Please, bro!? Think about how EXTREMELY impressed Takeshi-kun's gonna be!"

"I can impress him other ways!" I grunted, before curling in on myself, covering my exposed midriff as the curtains were pulled aside and eyes peered in.

"Bro, you look EXTREME!"

"I can't wear this in public!" I pressed, alarmed as he began to pull me from the safety of the change room.

"The Egyptians did!" He laughed.

"I don't think this is a historically correct design!"

" _Oh. My. God."_

" _Gaze upon God's gift to man and woman alike!"_

" _Damn son!"_

"Should we take the extensions out? Does it go with the outfit?" Kikyo asked, circling me with the eyes of a critic. "Hm...No, we'll leave it. Just take out the middle braid."

A girl split from the crowd and undid the length of manipulated strands. Snapping the elastic around her wrist before melding back into the masses.

"I-"

"You're wearing it, Yamaguchi-kun." Kikyo decided, making me sag.

…

"He's going to freak."

"And not in the good way." I sighed, walking alongside my now Olympian brother, his whites and golds clinging proudly to his flesh, gold powder dusted on the swells of his shoulders and cheeks.

"Oh, please bro, Takeshi-kun will be EXTREMELY PUMPED when he sees you!"

"Oh, he'll be pumped alright." Someone snickered, the rest of the class set up in their own gear and style, history seemingly our theme with medievals and ancients swarming.

An Ottoman huffed before striking the lewd girl over the back of her head, scolding her about such innuendos, only to fall victim to the girl himself.

Rolling my eyes at their nature, I let Ryohei grab me by the hand and drag me towards the pier of writhing fire with glee, his roar of enthusiasm infecting my own mood. With a smile, I started moving with him, the royal blue garment swirling around in an entrancing way as I spun on my toes, the sandals scratching against the earth of the sports field. The music played loud along with the crackling bon fire, laughter ringing out in the night as Namimori's celebration fell into full swing.

The golds on Ryohei and I flashed with fire as we moved to a wrangled, volatile rhythm, but fell into a familiar synchronized step, just as we did when opposing each other in conflict. We moved and danced, unsure of who was following who, but both of us foregoing the beat of music for the crackle-pop-snap of the flame.

Flashing a smile that got reflected in a jocund face, I came to halt just as my brother bumped my hip with his own, both of us panting and high with the mood. Our skins shone with perspiration and firelight, gold dusting dripping down our arms in little rivers of the Rush.

Earthly eyes glanced off the the side before Ryohei's grin stretched further, if possible, and he jerked his head in the direction.

"Your boy's there."

Blinking, I looked to the signal and hitched my breath, finally feeling my skin burn under the intense attention. Takeshi pressed his lips tight from just a few paces away, his friends at his side, but his attention rather centred on a different focus. The yukata hung and clung to his frame well and made me quick to divert my gaze or risk a rather unfortunate public display.

"I think we should keep dancing, Daiki-kun." Ryohei muttered, a look on his face that I knew well.

"You want to bait him."

"It's called 'giving a show', brother." He shrugged, lips curling and provoking mine to follow.

I laughed low before sliding my feet across the ground, and raising my arms, the Sun across from me stretching his limbs wide before we began again, this time preening like peacocks and overdoing just about everything, glances of conspiratorial humour being shared between fast spins. The gold hugging our wrists clashed at one point in a rather vigorous twirl and we burst out into laughter from the jolt, purposefully tempting fate and stepping into each other's space, materials of blue and white brushing up against each other as we writhed in a somehow aesthetically pleasing way.

"Got 'em." Ryohei laughed, just before I was grabbed from behind and wrapped into a bone crushing hug.

A choked chuckle leaked out of my throat as hands pressed to my midriff, having pebbled with goose bumps from the cooled wind despite the heat of the atmosphere from both the pillar of fire and the intensity of the dance. Takeshi pressed his face into the back of my neck and inhaled deeply, my own hands coming to carefully unravel his grip and allow me to turn and wrap my arms around his waist.

"Hello to you too, my love." I sighed into his ear, getting him to pierce my sides with his nails.

"You did that on purpose." He muttered, drawing his face out of my chest and looking up at me, taking in the Egyptian inspired makeup. "You're so beautiful."

I couldn't even fight the blush that stole my face, a smile coming to my lips before they were sealed over with the other's, loud hoots and whistles sounding from across the field.

"Dance with me, love, c'mon."

The loud shouts of Kurokawa Hana being manhandled into dancing with the two Sasagawa siblings rung out as our rhythm found its feet again, Takeshi careful to never release his hold on me as I moved us around. The slit of my skirt billowed and brushed across the Rain's shins, his traditional wear loosening from the frequent movement, more and more of the plains of his chest being exposed with each of my strategic instructions.

As the song ended and another kicked up, I allowed for the younger to cease my mobility, hands grasping my biceps as he grinned up at me, face bright with red and emotion. Seeing the open expression, I reflected it freely before grasping his face in my hands and swooped down, pressing our lips together for as long as our biologies could grant. When I pulled away, I felt the surge of pride come, the golden gleam that shone on his vermillion pair marking him as mine.

"I take it you like what I've been wearing today?" I hummed, still cradling his dazed face.

"Very much, shujin-kun." He sighed, slumping against me heavily.

"That's wonderful." Came my breath, eyes softening. "You're wonderful."

I could only hope that extended further, but for now...

Takeshi nuzzled me happily, getting glitter on the bridge of his nose like celestial freckles and making me laugh at the face he pulled as the dazzling lights reflected into his eyes.

I'll just enjoy the night, and I doubt these boys will make it hard at all.

* * *

 **Monster Tamer Tsuna + One Daigi** **  
By PlunnyBreeder**

 **Word Count: 572**

"The door has trouble staying open."

Tsuna and Gokudera looked up from their sprawling positions, and stood up, prepared to run for their lives. "H-He's… Hibarin!"

"That's right," the Vampire stated, with a started Hamburger Steak on a fork. "I am Hibarin, the dreadful Vampire. My Address is Demon Valley 2-4. I love Salisburgy Steak and coconut juice."

"Is he actually going somewhere with this?" Murmured Tsuna to himself, the rest of the monsters didn't respond, paralyzed in fear/surprise/awe.

"-to have fun by myself and to bite weak people to death-"

"Haha! I also like to play with myself!" Laughed Yamamoto, wriggling his eyebrows.

"-to play with birds," the vampire continued, heedless of the innuendo. Tsuna gawked at the zombie. They were _literally going to die_! Nobody got time for that!

"Pffft…!"

Everyone heads' whipped to the sound emitting to the newcomer, except Rebor, (Of course he didn't he probably already knew and decided not to tell them, thought Tsuna spitefully.) and Hibarin, who kept monologuing. "-patrol my castle-"

A semi-transparent human was floating mid-air! And he was glowing creepily!

"Hieeeee!"

Gokudera hissed, displeased that he didn't sense the teen. The other's tried to observe the ghost _and_ watching Hibarin wearily. It was a small success, they looked like they were trying to watch a tennis match and straining their necks.

"-have one last thing to say."

The heads turned to Hibarin again.

"I'm not much of a talker," and he bit into his steak, satisfied at his speech.

Silence.

Well, almost a silence. The spectral teen just kept cackling to himself.

Tsuna is so fucking done with his life.

...he is even more done when Hibarin kicks their asses, but then his _brain_ jumps out and knocks the vampire out, because he is apparently a zombie. Just like that! By eating the hand of Yamamoto's brain Takeshi! Why does this happen to him?!

"Well, that is certainly a way to become a monster."

The spectre has all of their attention. "What?! You don't think I was _born_ a ghost, did you? I am a _ghost_ for fu-" He glanced at Lambo. "I mean fudge's sake!"

"Haha! I died too!" Laughed Yamamoto. "By being backstabbed by my friends."

"Oh. Well..." the spectre tried to find a response to that. "That sucks. I'm Daigi and would give you a hug, but I'm kinda intangible at the moment."

And that's how Daigi the Ghost joined their party.

("Wait, how come you were in Hibarin's castle?"

"Well, I was trying to find a good subject for my history essay, and came across this magnificently gothic castle."

"You were killed by him?!"

"Nah, I gave him some of my cakes and he let me go, but I fell down the stairs and broke my neck."

"..."

"Hey, it's alright! He's kept me company, although it got very boring with him trying to bite me to death and failing miserably. Then he just started to ignore me. It went like that for some decades until you guys came along."

"Hm..." Rebo stroked his chin. "It seems that you have managed to tame the only monster that is immune to Hibarin. Congratulations! You might not be so useless after all."

It occurred to Tsuna that maybe he should run for the hills and never look back.

Rebo tipped his gaudy hat Leo-X transformed into over his eyes. "Don't even think about it, Tsuna."

Well, maybe not. Sadly.)

…

They were trekking down the road to god-knows-where, Rebo not included since he's the devil, nor Daigi since he's floating, when the newest recruit stopped.

"I totally forgot to mention," said Daigi. "That our parallel selves are up for questioning."

"What?" Gokudera mumbled into his chin. "Don't tell me… You're the post-mortem imprint of an UMA?!"

"Yep, you heard me right." Continued Daigi without a care in the world. "They're all humans though, and also something about the underworld, the crime one. I couldn't really hear, there were too many explosions. We are supposed to relay them our questions via review with a _#Q &Aquestion_ at the beginning."

"What?" Tsuna echoed the werecat. What's going on now? He just finished defeating Hibarin, and was ready for a vacation, but nooooo! Something always got in the way.

Rebo looked uncharacteristically serious. "I see. So our continued existence relies on fuel for the world to function, and in this instance it is questions."

He turned to the monster tamer. "Well, guess what your next goal is. You better hurry and think of something, or we'll die- again."

"HIEEEEEEEE!"

"-but of course, if the questions repeat themselves or are similar, they'll just pick one and put your names behind them. They're lazy like that, yanno. It's surprising that-" Daigi just continued babbling without a care.

"Wait- who's 'they'?" Tsuna asked, twitching at the foreboding phrasing.

"Huh- oh, yeah, LeNoRi and Plunny. You don't know them, they know you. Very well, actually- anyway, so, like, they don't even follow a schedule and Plunny is pretty wonky timezone-wise and hopes the readers would get this on All Hallow's Eve, but you know how it is, something would probably pop up and..."

By this time, nobody was listening, too busy captivated by the concept that they need enough questions in order to prevent the inexistence of their world.

None of them noticed how the clouds formed a message.

 **CHILL WE ONLY NEED QUESTIONS 'TIL THE 1ST DECEMBER!**

…

"And that's," finished Tsuna brightly. "The story of how I ended up here."

"Well, I thank you for bringing the Young Master back to us." Replied Coopa the Pelican, June the Dormouse frantically nodding in agreement. In fact, Tsuna was starting to get worried that his spine would break from the strain. Gokudera was eyeing the brown rodent in concern. Or at least Tsuna _severely_ hoped it was concern. The alternatives were best out of sight, out of mind.

He'd rather _not_ explain to Rebo why he screwed up another alliance negotiation due to the fact that Gokudera couldn't keep his stomach in check. (Or in his pants, but the tamer banishes that thought into the deepest, darkest parts of his traumatized brain. These were the moments he was glad he was a pseudo-zombie.)

* * *

 **Monster Tamer Tsuna is a series of short clips featuring chibi forms of primary or secondary characters shown at the end of episodes, debuting at Episode 155 and the last Episode at Episode 157. It began again with Episode 179 and ended in Episode 192.**


	15. Q&A

"The _Fourth Wall Camera_ is set up." Reborn announced triumphantly, standing atop of a rather normal looking filming camera.

"Great, where are the others?" Daiki huffed.

"They'll be here soon."

Daiki grumbled loudly as he crossed his arms, looking around the Sawada's living room, annoyingly used to its shape by now. His cup clinked loudly as ice dropped, slowly melting in the juice given to him by Nana on the insistence that it was getting too hot to go without one. Reborn had called them here, for whatever reason, and Daiki was forced to answer, having being almost physically dragged here by the baby himself.

"You're thinking about me." Reborn hummed from his new perch on an armchair, reserved for his use only and an item that was not native to the room.

"I'm thinking about how annoying you are, Reborn-san." He grunted, before a bang shook the walls.

There was a spike in noise as the others arrived, Tsuna's scratch a familiar ring as the laughter and shouts of the rest melded into the mass. Feet hit the floor in a constant beat before Takeshi turned the corner, arms behind his head in a lazy fashion as he grinned full force at the Storm's rage.

"Shujin-kun!" The Rain cheered, spotting his partner almost immediately.

"Hello, love." The other hummed, already moving his arm to allow for the other to cuddle up to his side.

Ryohei let out a booming greeting, dropping down on the other side of the Rain and letting out a long sigh of relief. Chrome came in next, very unsure of her surroundings but zeroing in on the familiar boy and scuttling over in fast, small steps.

"Good afternoon, Daiki-kun." She greeted softly, grasping the small portion of trident.

"Afternoon, Chrome-chan. Come sit with us."

"Yeah, c'mon!" Takeshi laughed, Ryohei making room at the end of their claimed couch.

The seating arrangement so far was pretty linear, with the way going Gokudera and Tsuna on a separate couch then jumping over to Daiki, Takeshi, Ryohei and Chrome. Though, no one had any doubts that other Guardians would be spawning into existence when plot so needed them.

"Why is Yamaguchi-san here?!" Tsuna yelped, snapping his eyes to the baby hitman who sipped leisurely.

"I called him here." He answered simply.

"Why?!"

"I sympathise." Daiki grunted, getting a gentle laugh from his partner, his mood soothed a bit by the noise.

"To answer questions, of course."

A dark bowl was placed on the coffee table in front of them, high rim containing an amount of paper slips, all rolled and neatly sealed to avoid a biased pick.

" _Apocolypsebutterfly_. _This question is for Daiki, when will people start figuring out your true gender 3:?:0  
And/Or secondly, and this is the most important question, when will YOU figure out what gender your most comfortable being 3:?:0'" _Ryohei blinked after he finished reading the message, turning to look at his brother who had fallen into a icy silence.

"Bro, what's going on there?"

"I actually don't know." Daiki answered, shrugging as he stole the piece of paper and looked it over. "Mm, maybe a mistranslation?"

"Haha, maybe! But since it's there, answer it!" Takeshi laughed, leaning up against his side. "Daiki-kun, what is your _true_ gender?"

"Hm, wouldn't you like to know?" The older huffed playfully, squeezing the arm around the smaller's waist before placing the piece of paper face down on the coffee table between them. "Considered it answered as: _Impending_."

"Next question!" Reborn chirped, a gleam in his eye as he looked to the Yamaguchi boy.

" _Kagewolf25_ asks: _I was just wondering if her mum and dad will get karma for what they've done?"_

"Ah..." Gokudera hummed, pulling a wad of paper from his bag, flipping through it quickly before putting it back, his friends around him giving him baffled looks. "It says there's something planned."

"What does _that_ mean?" Daiki asked, narrowing his eyes.

The Storm shrugged and brushed off the hostility.

"Hell if I know, fuckin' giant."

"Guess it's Daiki-kun's turn to read then." Takeshi laughed loudly, trying to up the mood again as he handed his partner a piece of paper from the bowl.

"Okay," The Sun smiled, taking it carefully and unfurling the piece. " _DragonClanMaster, 1. Is Mukuro going to continuously flirt with Daiki? It's honestly rather funny, but it gets annoying if there is too much."_

There was a stiff silence that was a mixture of 'what the hell' and 'what the _fuck_ ', the poor Mist girl upping the rate of her fiddling as eyes turned on her with varying intensity. The Sun began to gently pet and coo at his husband, the arm around his waist keeping him stationary and tame as Chrome moved further into the other Sun's silhouette.

"Mukuro-sama is just lonely, he finds Daiki-kun's reactions funny so he may poke about every now and again. I don't think he's trying to do any real damage." She supplied, before pausing and going over her words again. "I don't _think._ "

"He'll get bored eventually. Probably. Hopefully." The Yamaguchi tacked on, getting a huffed nod from his fiance and a deflation from the Mist.

" _2\. Are the Watanabe cousins going to find out Daiki is a-_ Yeah, no. The answer is a good ol' 'no'."

" _Guest. I hope you don't mind but I have a few questions like,  
1\. What is going on with Daiki's mom? I remember a few chapters ago she was like walking around with a knife and he no longer trusts Lambo to be alone with her?"_

Takeshi's voice tapered as he read this, fingers twitching for his katana handle.

" _2\. What does Tsuna think of Daiki? Every time I read their interactions, it sounds like Tsuna has some little puppy crush on him?"_

Tsuna very carefully did _not_ look into the couple's direction, sweating profusely. "S-sorry..."

Takeshi pursed his lips, the grip on the paperslip almost too strong. "Daiki-kun, I have _questions_ , and two, Tsuna-san… I don't even know. It's just a puppy crush… _Right?_ "

"Yamamoto-kun!" Tsuna yelped. "Of course!"

"Well," the Rain turned to his fiancé, ignoring Tsuna's protests. "I am very sure I am going to be one of the In-Law haters."

("I am not going to steal Daiki from you, I swear!")

Daiki grimaced. "She's my _mother_ , darling."

("Hey, are you even listening?" "Tch… So much disrespect.")

"Bo-kun could just stay at mine, every thought about that? I am _here for you_ , Daiki-kun."

("Does this mean I am off the hook? Hello?" "IT'S NO USE TO THE EXTREME, SAWADA-SAN! THEY ARE HAVING A _MOMENT_.")

Daiki buried his face in Takeshi's shoulder, ears red despite his tan. Somewhere, Gokudera gagged. Hibari _stayed_ gagged and tied to his chair, struggling and murdering with his eyes, and Lambo was focused on his Lollipop. Tsuna just threw his head upwards to the ceiling.

Chrome fiddled with the hem of her skirt and mumbled:

" _Bookloverinfinity asks: Will we ever see the projection of Daiki's past self?"_

"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU TO THE EXTREME!"

"My ears hurt..." Whimpered Tsuna, curling into a ball on his stool. He silently cursed his seating position.

"BOSS I'LL HELP YOU! OI, TURFTOP! LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!"

[Shouting, explosions, and murmured nothings from the couple in the background.]

Chrome slipped the ball of misery the other pod of her earbuds.

" _Will anyone find out about Daiki's rebirth?"_ Laid on the ground, almost unnoticed. Reborn stared impassively at it.

[Sounds of struggling and muffled death threats, loud eating, two balls of misery bonding over music, explosions, shouting, and non-PG-rated stuff behind the curtain.]

The No.1 Hitman took another slip from the pile. " _Why do you keep torturing poor Daiki?"_

Takeshi's head snapped up from their couple-y activities, emerging from the background. "Did I just hear 'torture' and 'Daiki' in a sentence? Who- Ack!"

He was interrupted by a tanned hand grabbing him by the collar, yanking him back.

" _Is the revelation of Daiki's gender going to be important to an arc or cause plenty of conflict?"_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" The cracks from one of Gokudera's explosion spelled, but were soon demolished by another following.

Rebon was getting cranky. It was almost his naptime, and nothing was getting done here. He then saw another slip of paper sticking out of the small pile, and smirked,

" _Is Daiki's sky Tsuna or Xanxus? Since Daiki was working with the varia in the future…"_

Utter Silence. Even Kyoya stopped struggling, and strained to turn his head towards the curtains.

(Well, Tsuna and Chrome were still bobbing their heads to their music, but still.)

"No." Came the growl from the curtain. "I refuse that... asshole. When did that even happen?"

Apparently, that was good enough for the gang, and the noise level resumed. Reborn sighed.

Because his idiot student was still bobbing to the Mist's music, oblivious to his surroundings.

Clearly, he needed to up the tor-training.

 _#Q &Aquestions_

 _What does the Varia think of Daiki (individually and collectively), both in the main universe and in the Daiki/Xanxus AU?_

 _Is the fact that Daiki has already killed someone going to come up/be addressed later? The 10th gen's reactions would be delicious._

* * *

Somewhere, almost on the other side of the planet, a certain scarred alcoholic, with _way_ too many adoring and obsessive followers, was shaking with rage.

"TRASH! ASSEMBLE!"

The underlings froze as the soundwaves reached them, and instantly made their way to the mess hall.

They were all standing in line, with their respective commanders waiting on stage. Mammon wasn't floating, which was the first thing that clued them in.

Along their lines of sight were some other, unbelievable, phantasmal phenomenons. Squalo was blank-faced. Bel was not slouching. Lussuria had not finished painting his nails, the sparkling gold coating only partially visible. Levi… was not glaring at them.

Shit Has Happened.

At last, the door was kicked open, although it was already open (how did that even work?), and Xanxus strut in, wine-red eyes staring through them, glowing.

He took his time to the podium behind his elements, each step measured and slow, but not relaxed by any means. It was the slow prowl of a tiger that could take off running for your ass any moment, because it was hella pissed for you looking at it wrong.

Someone tried to hold in a sneeze and failed, suspense is bad for your nasal reflexes.

[BANG]

Or your health. That someone wasn't Quality anyway, if they couldn't even hold in a _sneeze_.

In continued silence, the Varia Commander stalked up the steps, and leant himself on the podium. One could almost mistake it for lounging, were not the grips on his guns so tight.

"Trash," he drawled with too much teeth. "Which trash..."

Everybody straightened themselves a little more, even if it was thought impossible. It was unknown if they did that to prepare themselves for orders, or to flee and never come back.

"Which trash," he repeated himself, scanning the crowd. "Stuffed my bottle with paperslips, all containing the same two questions?"

Behind him, a powerpoint slide came into existence. On it stood:

" _What does the Varia think of Daiki (individually and collectively), both in the main universe and in the Daiki/Xanxus AU?_

 _Is the fact that Daiki has already killed someone going to come up/be addressed later? The 10th gen's reactions would be delicious."_

There wasn't even so much of a blink. Or a breath. Someone was turning blue in the fourth row.

[BANG]

"Clean up the blue-faced trash."

Clearly, Xanxus was the smartest. If someone wasn't even passable Quality, then they must be a spy. Easy.

When the cleaning staff was called into the deathly silent messhall, they didn't even do so much as blink, merrily mopping the blood away with their headphones firmly secured, whistling "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast.

(They were the ones Xanxus was lenient to. Even he realized the pain of cleaning after him or removing blood from carpets, he just didn't care enough to change his ways. Being lenient to them was fair enough.)

"Ah," one of them suddenly stopped. "Apologies Boss, but I think I just destroyed the message."

Indeed, for the spilled blood of the two corpses only read: "An[smear]r [smear]he ques[smear]o[smear]! [smear]rry fo[smear]x-up, b[smear]'ll do ju[smear]fin[smear]"

Xanxus blinked.

The cleaning staff took it as a cue to continue with their job.

"Dismissed," he sighed and made his way into the meeting room.

Only when Xanxus and his commanders were gone, did the assembled dare to disperse.

 **…**

"Okay, here's the plan," Lussuria gestured to the two large poster and crayons on the table. "We are going to answer the questions, because, clearly, we are the recipients. Nobody else is fabulous enough for it. And then, we're gonna burn the posters, because why the hell not. If they can spell a message from blood, then they should be able to decipher our answers from smoke."

"Makes sense," nodded Bel. "A suitable procedure for a prince, shishishishi."

Xanxus stared intently at the assembled crayons, and made a grab for the red ones. He held it in a manner reminiscent of a child, the crayon clenched in his fist as he scrawled angry lines across the page, taking up more room than was perhaps intended for his singular use, but fuck that he was the Boss.

"Ooh, what did Boss write?" Lussuria chirped, spinning the wad of paper to read it.

' _He needs to get his fucking life together and should have come to the Varia.'_

"Jeez, Boss, did you have to take up so much space? Now the prince only gets a fraction of what he deserves."

"HOW DARE YOU!" Hollered Levi, nose wrinkling in disgust. "IF THE BOSS DOESN'T WANT TO SHARE THEN HE DOESN'T HAVE TO-"

"Yeah, yeah." The Sun dismissed him, reaching for the golden crayon. It matched with his nails! Somewhat.

' _Your big sis will gladly dispose of your eggdoner, free of charge! And your spermdoner, also free of charge! We could then go on a trip around the world with the inheritance left- or you could use the salary of the second-most fabulous Sun Officer. It'll pay for itself. And then we will go shopping all the time and I will squeal at the sight of you and your boyfriend when he sees you in the bikinis and sundresses! We will of course routinely make hunting trips for bigots, stress relief is very important! I can't wait to show you off to everyone! Love, Your Best Big Sis Ever.'_

"You write it like he'll actually see it, Lussuria." Mammon sighed, an indigo crayon already orbiting their form.

"It's the thought that counts! When we burn it, he'll feel it in his heart!"

"He'll get fucking heartburn then!" Squalo shouted, huge voice drowning out the competition.

' _You are a tall peasant, but that is fine, because the prince, yours truly, always needed a suitable piggy-backer. You're welcome, shishishishishi. Get your peasant ass here quicker, peasant.'_

"Excessive use of 'peasant'." Mammon snorted.

"Oh yeah?" Bel waved dismissively with his hand. "Like you can do it better than the prince."

' _You could be so profitable, but you are too troublesome. I do not have the time to waste on developing you. If you want to be a good investment, please make your own way here.'_

"Less words, and no major repetitions. I am more efficient."

"You all need to be more heartfelt for my little sister!"

' _You are a decent pile of messes, come here so the Boss and I can un-mess you._ '

Lussuria blinked at him, thinning his lips at the Lightning.

"Define 'un-mess' and why it would require _both_ Boss and you."

"Boss and I are the best for it."

Before the Sun could kick Levi's head in, Squalo snatched the sheet from their hands and aggressively dented the paper with his large strokes, almost rendering the other messages unreadable.

' _FIGHT ME TRASHY SHITHEAD! HAHAHAHAHA! I WANT TO SEE HOW BAD YOU'LL BE BEATEN.'_

Xanxus threw his crayons at Squalo, leaving red marks all over his hair and uniform. "Trash."

" _VOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII! YOU ASSHOLE!"_

This was the cue for the others to lunge at him for destroying their messages (and insulting the boss).

In the midst of the chaos, well Xanxus was lounging self-satisfied for being the cause of it, the second question was forgotten.

" _Is the fact that Daiki has already killed someone going to come up/be addressed later? The 10th gen's reactions would be delicious."_

Well, maybe it was for the better. The Varia's response would have been quite patronizing, and we do not want them killed due to overexposure from Skylarks or mindfuckery from a certain Mist User, who would greatly take offense, starting World War III.

Also, the plot was probably already in shreds due to this. No need to burn it too… Right?

 **…**

"Oi, I think we forgot the second question, shishishishishi."

Xanxus looked to the fire place for a moment, before huffing and sinking into his throne more, a bit grumpy at the loss. He reached to the side table and plucked up his cup, took a sip, before sending it crashing against the Rain's thick head.

"Trash, get me some food."

" _VVOOOOOIIII!_ You son of a bitch!"


End file.
